Okay, so now the Republican National Committee has the next four years planned for you.  Remember the Bush presidency?  Oh hell, that was so much fun, let’s do it again.

During an interview last week on The Fernando Espuelas Show, Alexandra Franceschi, Specialty Media Press Secretary of the Republican National Committee, said that the Republican party’s economic platform in 2012 is going to be the same as it was during the Bush years, “just updated”.

So that’s why Dick Cheney got a new heart – he’s coming back and this time he means business.  I guess he left a dime on the floor of his office, discovered there’s a person who still has a job, and has a list of more people he wants to shoot in the face.  Look, I’m not saying that your name is on that list, but odds are pretty good it is.

You know how our ticket is Obama / Biden?  Well, their ticket is Robber / Baron.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

I know this is going to produce enough tears at the beauty salon to float a wagon, but I just have to tell you anyway.

The Minnesota GOP got evicted from their headquarters.   News reports say it’s because they haven’t paid their rent since last August.  But, personally, I think that story is a ruse.  I think it was the loud toga parties and filming of gay porn movies that made the neighbors complain.

That, and they owe hundreds of thousands of dollars to vendors.

Now what was it they were saying about the rest of us living within our means and how bad debt is for America?  Seriously, I can’t hear what they’re saying over the loud toga party music.

Thanks to Anthony for the heads-up.

Some of you folks from foreign states might have heard of one of our new Republican Texas congressmen who was swept in in 2010 even though he thinks he’s just adorable in ducky pajamas posing with underage girls.

His name is Blake Farenthold  and he’s a jerk from top to bottom and around the middle.  Warning:  for the trip around the middle you’ll need to pack a lunch.

He accidentally got elected out of the South Texas area but won’t be serving another term because the Jerk Crown doesn’t match his jammies.  He’s going to get creamed and he knows it.

So now starts the whining.

There’s a book coming out about how the new Republican freshmen in  the House are Tea Party monsters created by the GOP.  For the most part, they are dumber than dog dump and filled to the brim with self-importance.

During the debt-ceiling fight, some freshmen were ready to push the government into default. Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-Tex.), a first-time politician who was a surprise winner of a South Texas district, wrote Boehner to express his fear that the debt ceiling was “very possibly a hostage that we’re unwilling to shoot.”

If that’s an America First attitude, then I’m the Princess of Omaha, Nebraska.

And the whining?

When he [pajama boy] agreed to support the plan, he screamed at McCarthy’s whip team and at Cantor, telling them: “You guys are killing me. You guys have got to give us some bones to throw to the tea party.”

Bones?  You mean like you’d throw to rabid dogs?

Nice goin’, Farenthold.

Thanks to Eve for the heads-up.

The students at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University are pitching a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit.

It seems that the university invited Mitt Romney to give their commencement address at the invitation of Jerry Falwell, Jr.  Joy did not reign.

By Friday morning, more than 700 comments had been posted on the school’s Facebook page about the Thursday announcement – a majority of them decidedly against the Chancellor Jerry Falwell Jr.’s invitation, citing that the school had taught them Mormonism isn’t part of the Christian faith.

“I can’t support Romney and I am happy I decided not to walk (in the commencement) this year,” wrote student Josh Bergmann. “Liberty University should have gotten a Christian to speak not someone who practices a cult. Shame on you Liberty University.”

Now, if we can just convince them that Super DeLux Brand Christians should not vote on election day.

I’m wondering if we should start a rumor that Mormon and Muslim sound suspiciously alike, making this year’s presidential election a wash for Liberty University.

Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.

You remember that guy Bob Perry – no relation to Rick Perry except for the sleaze – who financed the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth?

Bob Perry: Flushing Money

Now he and  his Swiftboat Veterans for Truth buddies – none of whom served on swiftboats – are financing a Karl Rove very creepy group called American Crossroads.

A trio of wealthy Texans have donated more than half of the money the pro-Republican super-PAC American Crossroads has received, according to a new study by the Center for Public Integrity.

Bob Perry, Harold Simmons and Robert Rowling have combined to donated $30.5 million to the group, more than half of the $56 million the total the group has raised since its creation.

Okay, according to my jeweled pocket calculator, that’s 10 million dollars each.  Now I realize that $10 million doesn’t go as far as it used to but using that same calculators, that’s 300 Texas teachers.  You know, the state where we’re laying off teachers because we can’t afford them.

Now you would think that a fine Christian man like Bob Perry would rather leave a legacy of well educated Texas children than adding $10 million worth of cheeseburgers to Karl Rove’s rear end.  Maybe he likes Karl’s rolly rear, I dunno.  Not for me to say.  I’m just saying that a man’s gotta have his priorities and Bob Perry has chosen his.  He and Karl want to elect people who will cut even more from Texas education.

So, when you see a despicable ad from American Crossroads, think Karl Rove’s rear end instead of Texas schoolchildren.

Thanks to Bob for the heads-up.