Remember back when the Center for Public Integrity gave a few states an F grade in transparency, accountability and anti-corruption efforts?

Al Jaeger has a reason for that:

“Essentially, we don’t have corruption in North Dakota at all,” North Dakota Secretary of State Al Jaeger, told POLITICO. “We have no history of that.”

You ask if Jaeger is a Republican?  Uh, duh.  Does Howdy Doody have wooden toes?

They also have no sin in North Dakota.  Or lightening or thunder.

He lives in England, but I think he got there via Texas politics.  His name is Ed Jacobs and he has a back-story that beats Sarah Palin seeing Russia from her porch.

He says that he was adopted as a baby by a 9ft tall, green alien which explained that she was his ‘real, more important’ mother. Later, when he was 11, she took him on board her spacecraft and a deal was struck about contact between the two worlds.

In Texas, we just refer to that whole spacecraft thing as the Texas Lege and we try to make the Republicans in the Lege have contact with the real world.

Shoot, Darlin’, if I thought I could make Texas Republican Rep Debbie Riddle have contact with the real world, I’d build the damn spacecraft myownself and let Lucille paint herself green.  We’d visit Debbie Riddle and do that woman a world of good.

Thanks to Tina for the heads-up.

I don’t know this for a fact, but I think Karl Rove takes it personally that the entire world blames him for George Bush because, well, face it, he is to blame for that.

So, he’s attempting to train little demons in pajamas to spend day and night on the internet machine in their parent’s basement attempting to drive all of us crazy in public forums.  Seriously, he’s training them to be jerks.  Which, for most young conservatives, only takes one short lesson.

It starts off like this:

TACTICS FOR EFFECTIVE CONSERVATIVE BLOGGING By Karl Rove

Engage Demand an elaborate, time-consuming comparison / analysis between your position and theirs. Entangle Insist that the Liberal put their posts in their own words. That will consume the most time and effort for the Liberal poster

They will be unable to spread numerous points on numerous blogs if you have them occupied. Allowing a Liberal to post a web link is too quick and efficient for them. Tie them up. We are going for delay of game here. Demoralize Dismiss their narrative as rubbish immediately.

Do not even read it. Once the Liberal goes through the trouble to research, gather, collate, compose and write their narrative your job is to discredit it. Make it obvious you tossed their labor-intensive narrative aside like garbage. This will have the effect of demoralizing the Liberal poster.

Oh yeah, and it gets worse.

And we wonder why we end up with Fox News “reporters”?

One of my personal favorites —

If you find yourself in a debate with a Liberal where you are losing a fact-based argument then call them a name to derail their diatribe. Remember your goal is to prevent a meaningful exchange of views and ideas which may portray Liberalism in a positive light.

And lastly —

If you know a wealthy man with a double digit IQ who will follow orders, lie, and steal, buy him a Supreme Court and make him President.

Okay, so I just made up that last one, but you know it’s true.

Thanks to Iris for the heads-up.

Republicans are just so danged entertaining to watch.

They are a political philosophy thought up to justify greed.  And they are becoming experts at scamming people out of their vote.  And, (you’re gonna love this) each others money.

Meet the Boys at CAPE PAC.  CAPE PAC  stands for Coalition of Americans for Political Equality but actually it should be CAME – Coalition of Americans for MONEY Equality.  They have an address and a website.  Their purpose is “restoring conservative values in the politicians elected to represent all citizens of the United States of America.”

They have pictures of politicians all over the place and trick people into thinking that they are donating to a politician when they are really donating to CAPE PAC.

Here’s the deal:  (Click the little one to get the big one.)

But, when you punch the “Contribute Now” button, you donate to CAPE PAC, not the candidate.  So far, it appears that CAPE PAC has done diddle squat.

It is charming, Republicanly deceptive.  Over here at Linkedin, Ole Jeff says his education is “life.”  Yeah, and Republican scam tactics.

They are eating each other.

I like it when that happens.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Tomorrow, both Democrats and Republicans in Texas will be meeting to pick their delegates to the National State Convention.

Democrats will meet with our neighbors, pass resolutions, holler about Republicans, and generally have fun.

Republicans will also meet.  They will pray, hit each other over the head with sticks, and then swear that God told them to let little children die outside of emergency rooms because  their parents didn’t buy insurance.

If you go to your senatorial convention anywhere in Texas, please let me know how it went by posting right here.  And let me know if I’m gonna to see you at the State Convention in June.  I sure hope so!

You know, of all the examples she could have used —

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) blasted President Obama following his proposed “crackdown” on firms found to be manipulating the oil market, saying he is “waving a tar baby in the air” as a distraction from high gas prices.

“This is just about waving a tar baby in the air and saying that something else is a problem,” Bachmann said in an interview Wednesday with The Shark Tank, a conservative news organization that covers Florida politics.

I guess we ought to be proud that she didn’t call him Little Black Sambo.  But, I have a feeling it’s coming.

And you wanna know what perfectly horrible thing he did to get her so outraged?

Bachmann’s attack on Obama comes after he pushed Congress this week for legislation that would increase penalties on oil speculators manipulating the market. He called for increased federal supervision of the markets and funding for enforcement.

Yeah, we wants to stop manipulation of the oil market.

Another little tidbit for you to file away.  It appears that Michele has learned the Bless His Heart trick.  You know, how Southern ladies can say perfectly awful things if they preface it with bless his heart?  Her’s is a suffix and it goes like this ….

“The president is a complete and utter fraud and a hypocrite on this issue, with all due respect.”

Well, respect taken, Honey.  Bless her heart.