Everybody in Texas has been wondering why we never hear from anybody about Rick Perry.  Governor Goodhair has managed to fly under the Trump radar for longer than any other cabinet secretary. And, trust me on this, that ain’t because he’s smarter than all the rest of them. Y’all, I know these things. Even back when he was a Democrat I told people that Ole Rick is powerful cute and plenty friendly but he is not burdened with the energy it takes to have a triple digit IQ.

He recently up and decided that he’s moving on from his job as cabinet secretary of the Energy Department, a department that he wanted to abolish when he was running for president, and had his infamous “Oops!” about.  Ya gotta wonder if he accomplished his mission of killing it, right?

Well, maybe. We just haven’t heard yet. What’s the status of these Office of Special Counsel and Department of Energy Inspector General investigations of Perry? Ya gotta wonder.

And add that Trump personally asked Perry if he’d take over as Homeland Security secretary but Perry, lover of camera facetime, declined and I am deeply grateful for that.  I’m wondering what’s next on Perry’s dance card. You can bet it involves money and probably hunting and beer. Other than that, he doesn’t have much else to do.

Keep an eye on this one. I smell something weird here.

In true form, Trump made an ass of himself (again) today by pushing his border wall bullshit;  he pushed said bullshit in front of children who just wanted to find Easter eggs and frolic on the South Lawn of the White House.  The Easter Grinch showed up, and his name is Donald.

Sheesh.

Okay, this wins at least the day, if not the week.

Yeah, who is that?  Sits around with a pocket calculator. You know who I’m talking about. The guy. Probably has a compass and a ruler, too. His job description is “does that kind of thing.” Hummm … you know, the doer of thing. Thing doer. Yeah, that’s it. Has a calculator and kinda does thing.

This reminded me that Alex Jones and my baby boy were in the New York Times this weekend, where we learned that Trump talks just like Jones.  The New York Times did an editorial mentioning my boy in a very flattering manner.  In that editorial, they included a clip of Jones talking just like Trump – doing an end-run around the truth.

It’s my boy’s favorite clip from the deposition because over the six months he’s had this case, he has learned to do a spot-on imitation of Jones.  In this clip, you will see my boy accidentally slip into his Jones imitation for just a few seconds.  At about 1:30, “Hummm… that guy’s paramilitary.”

In case you were wondering, my boy isn’t getting a big head over this. It’s still his job to clean all the dog poop out of the backyard before the Easter Egg hunt. And Alex Jones was particularly angry over this column. On his show, he said, “The New York Times tries to make him out to be Matlock, but he’s not. He’s what would happen if you mixed Gollum with a lawyer.”  I wonder if Alex Jones owns a mirror?

It’s all talk.  Just talk.

Y’all, Herman Cain has withdrawn his name from consideration to be on the Fed.

“My friend Herman Cain, a truly wonderful man, has asked me not to nominate him for a seat on the Federal Reserve Board. I will respect his wishes. Herman is a great American who truly loves our Country!” Trump tweeted.

Remember his tax plan that was 9 – 9 – 9?

His plan for the Fed was 666.

Now if he’ll just go back to wherever he was when Trump found him, we can all breathe a little easier today.

… there’s this, bought to you by People Magazine.

On the high holy days of fine Christians? Tsk. Tsk.

The real crisis at the order.

Larry Mitchell Hopkins, a 69-year-old Trump supporter and leader of a rightwing militia in New Mexico, has been kidnapping immigrants at gunpoint and pretending to be a U.S. Border Patrol agent. He was arrested yesterday and charged with possessing firearms and ammunition as a convicted felon.

Instead of hiding under white hoods, they hide behind fake badges and paramilitary costumes.  But make no mistake, they are the same people with the same hate.

I have an idea what we should do with these wanna-be cops. Let’s round them up with all their ammo and send them on an expense paid trip to Yemen to fight Trump’s war.

Folks in New Mexico don’t agree with me. Get a load of this:

A prominent New Mexico Republican, Gavin Clarkson, a former Trump administration official who is now running for United States Senate, met with masked members of the group in March and praised their efforts, according to a video of the encounter uploaded to Facebook.

Clarkson is now saying of the group, “Masked militiamen are the antithesis of what a free republic looks like.” It’s strange how rising of the white hoods makes the cockroaches scramble.