Written by Nick Carraway

Conservatives never cease to amaze me. On the same day that President Biden calls for unity, they show the unique ability to completely misunderstand the moment and what unity actually means.

Today, @POTUS pledged to be a president for all Americans. It’s unclear how all Americans are served by opening travel from terror hot spots, proposing a giant amnesty, or halting the installation of security barriers along the Southwest border.

— Stephen Miller (@StephenM) January 20, 2021

CNN Headline that’ll scare the flip outta you.

I can almost understand why this is.

You can’t have a plan with Trump.  Remember the paper towel thing with Trump in Puerto Rico? He didn’t think of that distribution method until he got there and when he saw that it worked, he just kept at it at it and at it. When he left, he was convinced that the best distribution method was to just start throwing food at the hungry people.  Genius. Pure genius.

Hell, here’s a guy still trying to convince people that doctors are making up all these deaths to jack up their bills.  Why give a vaccine for something that doesn’t exist?

You expected a plan?  Really?

I got my first vaccine yesterday, Bubba got his two weeks ago.  We got on teevee news about how come I didn’t get one but he did.  I said just luck of the draw. I wanted to say that he used all the power of an associate district court judge in a small county to outrank me, but then we remembered that some people do not have a sense of humor.  If you took all the power of all the associate district court judges and put it together you might could light a 40 watt light bulb but I wouldn’t count on it during a hurricane. So if I said it, some fool would be believe it.

You would think that after all these years, I would quit getting nasty emails complaining that I really shouldn’t call myself a beauty salon because I don’t offer beauty services. I think I told the last person who sent me an email about it to bring herstupidself over here and I’d punch her in the face and God Almighty that would be beautiful.

Did I ever tell you about the time I named some joint the Brazos River Yacht Club and Bait Camp and people really thought there was a yacht club on the Brazos River.  Honey, the Brazos River is a glorified drainage ditch, but nooooooo … they didn’t get the joke.

We’re talking about plans here. I’m sorry. I just got lost here because … plans. We need plans.

I cannot imagine how I raised a child to believe that “No speech abridgin’ means no speech abridgin’.”

Mark wrote an opinion piece you might want to read.  I’ll let him know to expect comments.

And here’s some more Texas fun.

Our indicted and currently under investigation for additional criminal acts Attorney General Ken Paxton, has decided to use empty sarcasm and self bravado in facing the fact that he kissed Donald Trump’s butt in public view for longer than anyone believed possible and still didn’t get a pardon.

Oh yeah.  You’re not gonna believe this stuff.

My statement on Inauguration Day ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/Hb893NG91x

— Texas Attorney General (@TXAG) January 20, 2021

On Inauguration Day, I wish our country the best. I promise my fellow Texans and Americans that I will fight against the many unconstitutional and illegal actions that the new administration will take, challenge federal overreach that infringes on Texans’ rights, and serve as a major check against the administration’s lawlessness.  Texas First! Law & Order always!

Here’s how this works.  Paxton sued Obama’s administration over 50 times.  He used taxpayer money to do this. Best I recall, Paxton won once and it had to do with how many days Texas fisherman could harvest Red Snapper.

Paxton’s wife plays guitar, and I think she yodels but I could be wrong about that, so she wrote a little song that she plays all over the state where she sings real cute, “I’m a pistol packin’ momma and my husband sues Obama.”  Seriously. This happens.

It won’t be too difficult for her to find something that rhymes with Biden, so I suspect that Ken wrote this tweet because his wife is loading her pistols and her yodeling kit.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Ted Cruz wore a Come and Take It mask to the Inauguration today of a man Cruz believes stole the election.

It’s true and the Houston Chronicle reported it.

The “Come and Take It” flag has become a symbol of defiance since then. Cruz previously used the “Come and Take It” imagery to push back against those encouraging limited Thanksgiving celebrations during the coronavirus pandemic.

Cruz wore the same mask on Jan. 6 when he voted to object to Arizona and Pennsylvania’s vote counts certifying the election of Biden.

He should have been arrested on the spot.

I saw with both my eyes Kevin McCarthy stand in the statuary hall of the Capitol and give a gift to President Biden, who he does not even recognize as the legitimate president.

That is gall.  McCarthy wanted the privileges of office. He lost that right when he said the election was fixed.