Holy cow, this one is a doozy.

Finally, someone told Trump that without Ballots By Mail, he was gonna get his butt beat in Florida.

So, like damn magic, Florida is suddenly the only state in the nation where voting by mail is safe and nobody can crack the secret cheating code.  Wanna know why?  Because they’ve had two consecutive Republican governors who got it all fixed. That’s what the man said. I heard it.

Honey, Texas has had three consecutive Republican governors who have served for a total of 25 years.  How come our elections can’t be trusted?

Hummmmm …

And I have a follow up question. Did Jared help you come up with that answer?

There’s an editorial in today’s Houston Chronicle:

Scofflaws.  That’s the word I’ve been hunting for months.  I checked the official definition just to be sure it meant what I thought it meant – something Republicans don’t do near enough.

Scofflaw means “a person who flouts the law, especially by failing to comply with a law that is difficult to enforce effectively.”  I guess I’ve heard it used for parking tickets or parking in handicapped zones without a sticker.  They scoff at the law, and by golly it’s a word.

The article has an interesting thought.

The opposition may be noisy, but they are out of step with the overwhelming majority of Texans who see the wisdom using facial coverings to limit the spread of the virus. In a Quinnipiac University survey released late last month, 80 percent of voters said they approved of Abbott’s face mask order. Only 19 percent said they disapproved.

So, 19% are driving the whole you-can’t-make-me-wear-a-mask thing.  We can take ’em, y’all. We can wrestle them to the grown and take them down to the river and baptize them with the truth.  And make them pay $250 for the honor.

I can go with that.

It’s true.  This is not a joke.

So, next week you’ll see a press release from the National Park Service saying that Trump is the only person in the world pronouncing Yosemite correctly.

The National Park Service and Dr. Harry Johnson of Liberty University will soon announce, “It’s a little known fact that a lost group of Jews was wondering around being, you know, lost, and a native American Indian, who did not even know he was American, saw them from the top of a hill.  He hollered, you guess it, “Yo Semites!” and a name was born.  It’s the truth.”

God help us all.

Thanks to Carla for the heads up.

So, Thelma and I were having a discussion last weekend about what name we’d give to a male Karen.

Let me stop here and say loudly that I have some beloved friends named Karen, and I feel real bad for them.  Their name has been tainted and none of them are truly Karens. On the other hand, it’s a handy way to explain somebody acting the fool because of white privilege which they don’t even think exists.

Thelma and I tossed around a few ideas for a male Karen and we came up with one that seems to have stuck.

Tucker.

The advantage being that there are very few people named Tucker so innocent people don’t get hurt.  The upside is that everybody knows the one Tucker and he’s Karen in a bow tie and an expensive haircut.

So, we’re going with Tucker.

Ya know, we’re getting more and more proud of that.

Yeah, Tucker contends that it’s “probably illegal” for Joe Biden to express perimeters on his choice for Veep.

Yeah, he did.

“For what could very well be the most important job on Earth, Biden has decided to hire exclusively on the basis of qualities that are both immutable and completely irrelevant—race and gender,” Carlson huffed. “And that’s it. But wait a second, you ask, isn’t that insulting? Isn’t it wrong? Isn’t it probably illegal?”

Since the birth of this country, with only two exceptions, the veep selection has been limited to white males.  Tucker finds nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with that.

And the fact that it’s not true that he’s only considering black women – Elizabeth Warren is not black – doesn’t matter one rotten stick in hell to Tucker.  Tucker wants white males, dammit. And they better be straight. And good hair. And look and act exactly like Tucker Carlson.

Yeah, we’re going with Tucker. Tucker fits.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Okay, so let’s say you’re black and you live in an older section of Dallas, Texas, and it’s Sunday morning and you are in church.  And when you leave church ….

An Oak Cliff church that proudly flies a banner reading Black Lives Matter had nearly 1,000 unwanted visitors gather on their campus Sunday.

Pro-police riders jammed up the church’s parking lot and surrounding streets — sparking a counter-protest Sunday night.

With flags flying — including at least one Confederate flag — the mostly white visitors called themselves the “Back the Blues Cruise,” said they were on a mission to support police.

 

This was the largest attempt by the rightwing to confront Black church goers in their own parking lot.  They have been trying it at smaller black churches in east and north Texas.

And then add …

The Blue Lives Matter rally had police escorts and was supported by police, which is why later that night protesters marched on the Dallas Police Department. Although Dallas PD denies escorting the rally, they said they were just there to direct traffic.

What?  I thought that was what a police escort was — directing traffic.

Look, when the members of First Baptist Church in Dallas come to support and protect their brothers and sisters at Friendship West Baptist Church, I’ll stand down, but until then, let me say that white Baptist churches are making Little Baby Jesus cry.

Thanks to Vicki for the heads up.