Did you see SNL last night?

Trump did.

Says the least self aware man in the world.

Well, you attack Bill Clinton.  Yeah, Bill Clinton. For coming to the Presidential debate. Seriously.

The boys who own and operate our local newspaper here are still outraged, outraged I tell you, over Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky.  Bless their hearts, they are so old that the Clinton / Lewinsky episode saved them a fortune in Viagra while it was happening.

I need to tell you that in Texas, outrage passes for foreplay in most Republican homes.  So, they keep a Bill Clinton card in their back pocket and they can skip the whole wine and Sinatra part.

Their newspaper is behind a giant paywall so I will show you the editorial they had today and the front page.  I’ve never seen such scared little ninnies in my life.

Here’s the editorial.  You can click on the picture to see it full size.

A little reminder for the boys at the Fort Bend Herald:

After his impeachment proceedings in 1998 and 1999, Clinton’s rating reached its highest point at 73% approval. He finished with a Gallup poll approval rating of 65%, higher than that of every other departing president measured since Harry Truman.

See, boys, that would include Ronald Reagan.  Reagan left office with an approval rating of 57%.  I’d also like to note that their hero Tom DeLay, who lead the fight against Clinton, ended up with an approval rating of 27%.

I guess I also need to remind them that Clinton was impeached but not convicted.

If you’re wondering how the Fort Bend Herald boys justify their statement of “Most reasonable people accused and shamed publicly disappear into the fabric of society never to be seen again,” with the horror of man they support for President, take a look at the front page.

That newspaper defies seven laws of physics by being able to stand up straight on the page.  Why it doesn’t topple over to the right is a mystery.  I cannot imagine why they didn’t find a Benghazi story in this edition.

I’ve got fifty bucks riding on the bet that the Fort Bend Herald will be the first newspaper in America to endorse Donald Trump.

Good Lord.   Amazing. Astounding. Unbelievable.  Really?  Were your fingers quivering when you typed that, boys?

Mike Pence is a jerk.  There’s no way over, under, or around that.  Hell, his jerk tree is so high that an eight legged cat couldn’t climb it.

But, I almost felt sorry for him yesterday.

Pence was jabbering about how there was going to be proof, proof I tell you, that Donald Trump did not grope all those women.  Bless his heart, he was damn near gleeful about it.

“Before the day is out there will be more evidence that calls into question these [sexual assault] allegations,” Pence said Friday morning on CBS.

“Just stay tuned. I know that there is more information that is coming out that will back his claim that this is all categorically false,” he added.

So, we all waited, making notes of how we would word our sincere apology to Donald Trump.

Honey, my Schaden is filled with a ton of Freude.  Scamming Trump got scammed by a scammer.

A British man named Anthony Gilberthorpe has stepped forward to serve as an exculpatory witness for Trump.  He says he was sitting across the aisle from Trump and Jessica Leeds on the airplane flight where Trump was all over her. Gilberthorpe says that Leeds was the aggressor.

Somebody in the Trump campaign should learn to use Google because they would have found a bushel basket of cringeworthy things about Gilberthorpe.  And after yesterday they would have found this.

Grasp that straw, Pence!  You’re more of jerk today than yesterday.

I sending love to the Centennial High School Boy’s Locker Room.

Centennial High School athletes are fighting back against the idea that bragging about sexual assault is locker room talk.

A picture of basketball, football, soccer and cross country athletes in a locker room at the Gresham school, wearing shirts that say “Wild Feminist” has been shared over a thousand times already on Facebook. The caption to the picture reads: “Sexual Assault is not locker room banter. #wildfeminist #reptheC.”

The shirts were made by Wildfang and they probably have your Christmas list covered.

Thanks to George for the heads up.

They pretty much summed it up perfectly —-

And if we needed any proof that the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree, Donald Trump, Jr., offered his suggestion for women being sexually harassed in the workplace – go teach kindergarten.

You really need to read the whole mess, but here’s an outtake.

“If you can’t handle some of the basic stuff that’s become a problem in the workforce today, then you don’t belong in the workforce. Like, you should go maybe teach kindergarten. I think it’s a respectable position.

“You can’t be negotiating billion-dollar deals if you can’t handle, like, you know,” Trump said, without elaborating.

I am so delighted that he finds kindergarten teacher “a respectful position”  because my Aunt Tilly taught kindergarten and she could send that little jerk home with his winkie in his wallet.  What a little snot.

Oh, y’all.

Judeo-Christian values on display —

Gee, if only Donald Trump had thought of that in the last debate.

Thanks to David for the heads up.