Mike Huckabee is one damn comedian, y’all.  He said he would interested in becoming transgendered when he was in high school so he “could shower with the girls.”

Let me just say this.  No one, no where, at no time, of any damn gender should be forced to shower with Mike Huckabee.

And then get this:

“For those who do not think that we are under threat,” he said, “simply recognize the fact that we are now in city after city watching ordinances say that your seven-year-old daughter — if she goes into the restroom — cannot be offended and you can’t be offended if she’s greeted there by a 42-year-old man who feels more like a woman than he does a man.”

Does he understand how women’s bathrooms work?  Tell me, is this guy drunk or lost?  Hint: women’s bathrooms have doors on each potty.  We do not, despite whatever fantasies Mike Huckabee has, scamper around nakkid in the bathroom.  Hulk Hogan could be in the bathroom but he’s still not getting into my business.

Making this about “what will we tell the children” is silly.  Grown ups tell their chidden to mind their damn business in the bathroom.

Additionally, you old fool, we don’t have “bathroom greeters.”  I would tell my children – male or female – that if anybody tries to greet you in the bathroom, holler for your momma.

One more thing.  I promise this is the last thing.  I was raised with only brothers, no sisters, I married a man and give birth to three sons, no daughters.  I have shared bathrooms with men my entire life.  As far as I know, the only positions for a toilet seat are up or wet.  It may have been disgusting a time or two or eleven but it hasn’t killed me yet nor, and this is the important part, made me a pervert who is overly concerned about whether somebody jingles or jangles when they go in the bathroom and close the damn door.

And that’s that.

I have a friend who works with a governmental thing in Houston.  Sometime she has to work to surrounding counties and deal with the Agenda 21 people.  They scare the peewadiddle out of her.  She is way more afraid of the people who believe there is an Agenda 21 conspiracy than she is of Agenda 21.

If you have some free time this morning, mosey on over to this bandwidth.  I have to admit that it took me a while to figure out if it’s satire or real because it’s that damn crazy.

These people believe that the flooding in Texas was a weather event set off by Obama and the Agenda 21 people.  Why Texas, you ask.

Both ex-Governor Rick Perry, and now current Governor Greg Abbott of Texas, have been a HUGE thorn in President Obama’s side ever since he took up residence in the White House. You name the issue — Gun control, Obamacare, Illegal immigrants, Gay Marriage, JADE HELM[1]. The list goes on and on, but there are enough in the aggregate for the geoengineers in the West Wing Situation Room to rain on a Texas parade whenever possible.

Last time I checked, President Obama had a 55% approval rating.  Rick Perry is polling at 3% and Greg Abbott is an idiot. Huge thorn?  Nah.  More like a little prick.

The guys are not burdened by reality.  Get this —

The Obama Administration has already demonstrated no reluctance whatsoever in commencing purely political prosecutions as they have against potential presidential candidate Rick Perry. Using their Austin-based proxy prosecutor to file a patently false indictment against Perry shows just how far Obama & Company will go to force the state into complete submission.

Oh dear.  First of all, Perry’ indictment is not a federal case. It’s a state indictment. Perry was indicted by a Republican special prosecutor who was appointed by a very Republican judge.  Odds are pretty damn good that they didn’t even tell President Obama about it.

Y’all, it’s Rick Santorum again.

Rick had this to say yesterday.

“We are seeing it. We are seeing the fabric of this country fall apart, and it’s falling apart because of single moms.”

Not single dads?

Now, I’m gonna ponder this for a minute.  Barack Obama was raised by a single mom.  But …

Hummmm …

Sidenote:  someone smarter than me (which is pretty much everybody) suggested that I categorize posts about the Republican candidates for president from now on.  We’re gonna try it until it becomes too damn much trouble.  This is supposed to make it easier to click on one of their category names and read everything I’ve jumped on them about.  You’ll see it up at the top beside the date.

Which reminds me.  Do you know the difference between jumping on a trampoline and jumping on a politician?  Ya take off your boots to jump on a trampoline.

Reminder:  Top Ten Results of Electing a Libertarian President

1.  Your new favorite charitable cause? Meat inspection.

2.  Cheerfully decorated tip jars at stop signs to pay for roads.

3.  The National Weather Service to be replaced by your Uncle Buster’s rain gauge.

4.  The Texas lottery will now handle sewage disposal. You win the lottery, we take your sewage.

5.  New research reveals that clean water flowing into your house is unnecessary and likely to be the cause of obesity, bad breath, and the disco craze.

6.  Mugging victims must now dial Call-a-Bubba. You call Bubba, and he comes over and shoots something.

7.  Juanita’s Fried Pies will proudly provide the ingredients for some heartwarming s’mores if your house catches on fire.

8.  Elections will now be run by Guy Fieri of the Cooking Channel.

9.  In case of another attack on U.S. soil, you will be given a complimentary Trailways bus ticket to a foreign country of your choice.

10.  U.S. motto “E Pluribus Unum” will be replaced with “Get the Hell Off My Lawn!”

Sine Die is Latin phrase meaning, “Thank you, Apollo, the Texas Legislature session is finally over.”

My friend La Lisa Hernandez noted that the last day of the legislative session is also the first day of hurricane season.

“How will we know the difference?” I asked.

She replied, “One has gale-force winds devastating all in its path. The other’s a hurricane.”

One wise Latina.

Senator Lindsey Begonia Graham is running for President on a platform that what this country needs is more war, dammit.

Yeah, and watch out what you’re thinking because there will be none of that under a Lindsey Graham administration …

“If I’m president of the United States and you’re thinking about joining Al Qaeda or ISIL, I’m not going to call a judge,” he said. “I’m going to call a drone, and we will kill you.”

I wasn’t thinking about it until he said that.  Now that’s all I can think about.  Don’t drone me, Bro.

To his credit, Lindsey Graham was in the military so he knows a lot about … well, motions and writs and stuff.  He was an Air Force lawyer and contrary to popular belief Air Force lawyers see combat a lot less than you’d suspect.