Can’t Wait Until Friday Toon
Reminder: Top Ten Results of Electing a Libertarian President
1. Your new favorite charitable cause? Meat inspection.
2. Cheerfully decorated tip jars at stop signs to pay for roads.
3. The National Weather Service to be replaced by your Uncle Buster’s rain gauge.
4. The Texas lottery will now handle sewage disposal. You win the lottery, we take your sewage.
5. New research reveals that clean water flowing into your house is unnecessary and likely to be the cause of obesity, bad breath, and the disco craze.
6. Mugging victims must now dial Call-a-Bubba. You call Bubba, and he comes over and shoots something.
7. Juanita’s Fried Pies will proudly provide the ingredients for some heartwarming s’mores if your house catches on fire.
8. Elections will now be run by Guy Fieri of the Cooking Channel.
9. In case of another attack on U.S. soil, you will be given a complimentary Trailways bus ticket to a foreign country of your choice.
10. U.S. motto “E Pluribus Unum” will be replaced with “Get the Hell Off My Lawn!”
Couldn’t be more true if you tried!
1Meteorologists confused by Uncle Busters Rain Gauge data and determine the drought in Texas is over or domestic beer sales are up.
2Top Ten Results: Too close to possible to be all that funny.
3Don’t forget Charles Pierce’s rule: Ron and Rand can sound reasonable for five minutes. Then the crazy starts to come out.
4And the US stole it’s motto from Moi.
5The Libertarian US’s Latin motto, Accidit mea herba agri!
6Ayn Rand would approve.
7Oh, and everybody’s kids will be home-schooled…MOM!
8Yes, couldn’t wait.
9No home schooling for me. I promised my kids and I stuck by it. That doesn’t mean you can’t do neat stuff with them, like going to museums and botanical gardens and libraries and teaching them the facts of life correctly before they go to school and may or may not get told.
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