Rick Perry has a new theme song.  I suspect it’s gonna go over real good at pool halls, gun stores, homes where people watch “Cops” to see their relatives, and any place where people get rip-snorting drunk.

“Rick Perry supporter, let’s protect our border,” the rap part says. “To hell with anyone who don’t believe in the USA / Rick Perry all the way.”

“I won’t back up / I don’t back down / I been raised up / To stand my ground / Take my job / But not my gun / Tax my check till I ain’t got none / ‘Cept for the good lord up above / I answer to no one,” the country part says.

“Give me my right to vote / My right to tote / The weapon of my choice, don’t censor my voice,” goes the second rap verse.

You think I’m kidding, don’t you?

With Navy Seals on each side of him, Rick Perry pretty much promised to take us to war just like every other President from Texas has because Rick Perry answers only to God.  Last I heard, God wasn’t speaking to him.

And Jon Stewart had some fun with Rick’s line of “We must do right, and risk the consequences.”

I kinda think we’re still in for some fun when I hear Rick Perry say, “There is nothing wrong in America today that a change in leadership will not make happen.” No matter how much I think about that sentence, it still gives me a loop-dee-lou headache.

Well, we have open carry in Texas and this is what we can look forward to.  Warning:  This video has foul language and abominable behavior toward police officers in Abilene, Texas.  The scary part is that Open Carry Texas is proud of this video.

This is what our state legislature is so proud of.

The day that some damn fool can stand on the sidewalk in front of my house armed to the teeth screaming at police officers is the day I resign from Texas.

It doesn’t matter who you are or what your political beliefs, you have to ache for Vice President Biden and his family.

Wait, I was wrong.  It does indeed matter who you are.

Texas Republican Senator and excruciatingly mean man Ted Cruz, made a joke about Joe Biden on the night before his son’s funeral.  This alone is proof to me that Cruz is some kind of damn vampire or something.

But the fact that he had to wait for blowback to apologize is proof that he’s a damn loathsome vampire or something.

Detroit News reporter Chad Livengood tweeted —

Livengood said on Twitter that when he asked Cruz after the event why he joked about Biden, given the timing, Cruz simply “turned and walked away.”

There’s a tape of it.

Hours later, Cruz issued an apology after people noted that was pretty damn classless.

Yeah, we need a president who has to go around apologizing for being a damn slow loathsome vampire.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Y’all, Rick Santorum is all upset about the Pope mentioning climate change.

Santorum describes himself as a “huge fan” of the pope, but on “The Dom Giordano Show” on Monday, he said “the church has gotten it wrong a few times on science, and I think that we probably are better off leaving science to the scientists and focusing on what we’re really good at, which is … theology and morality.”

See, there’s a couple of problems with that.

First, climate change is morality.  Santorum believes morality is sex and not a damn thing more.  I would also like to hit him over the head with the Bible because it says that God put us on the earth “to work it and keep it.”

Second, according to The Catholic Herald, the Pope is a scientist.

Jorge Bergoglio was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina’s capital city, Dec. 17, 1936.

He studied and received a master’s degree in chemistry at the University of Buenos Aires, but later decided to become a Jesuit priest and studied at the Jesuit seminary of Villa Devoto.

So in the GOP clown car the really ignorant rise to the top.  That’s a scientific fact.

Thanks to Lolly for the heads up.

Carly Fiorina a puppet of the fellas running for President.  They can’t attack Hillary Clinton so they use Carly to do it.

Carly follows Hillary Clinton around and then holds press conferences in front of the hotels where Hillary is speaking.  She was trying to ambush Hillary but got headed off at the pass by logic and questions.  Her Clinton-bashing press conference lasted 11 minutes.

But Ms. Fiorina quickly grew discomfited when the questions seemed to treat her more as a heckler pulling a stunt than as a formidable candidate making an otherwise significant campaign stop.

One reporter asked if Ms. Fiorina was being used by the men in the Republican field to harass Mrs. Clinton.

Noooooooooo, not me, said Fioina.  Nooooooooooo, I wouldn’t do that.  I have been scheduled to do this for months.

After a few more questions, she couldn’t take the heat so she left the kitchen.

“All right, thank you, everyone,” an aide interjected after about 11 minutes.

A reporter tried to pose another question. But Ms. Fiorina demurred.

“Thanks, you guys — I have a lunch to go to,” she said, carefully stepping across the cables stretching to the satellite trucks that had arrived to record Mrs. Clinton’s appearance inside the hotel.

Okay, I will admit that the used of the word “demurred” is kinda sexist, but the reporter is woman and I think she was having some fun with a poopie del pollo candidate.  I’d do the same thing myself.

It’s gonna get fun!

Ann Coulter – the reason I want to believe in hell.

She has written a book saying that it’s not illegal immigrants who bother her, but all immigrants.  That would include me.  And Ann Coulter.

Wicked Witch Woman.