The Heritage Foundation, that conservative elite organization cloistered in Washington DeeCee has come up with a new definition of liberalism and it defines me perfectly.

What do conservatives think of liberals today?

Here’s the view from the Heritage Foundation: Liberalism creates self-indulgent, licentious hedonists willing to cede every other kind of freedom to an increasingly authoritarian government.

“Give up your economic freedom, give up your political freedom, and you will be rewarded with license,” said Heritage’s David Azerrad, describing the reigning philosophy of the left. “It’s all sex all the time. It’s not just the sex itself—it’s the permission to indulge.”

I do not know what the hell tarnation you are doing at this website when there is sex to be had!

In elite conservative eyes, that’s what liberalism is – sex 24/7.

Bill Voegeli

They didn’t get around to explaining why people who are hedonists want government control over their lives, which would include all the crazy stuff Louie Gohmert is talking about and we are so against anything Louie wants.  Best I can figure, the Heritage Foundation is very confused about liberals and libertarians.

There were other puzzling things in the Heritage Manifesto.

Technology-driven popular culture helped liberals lull the masses into complacency, Azerrad continued, citing iPhones, Google Glass, massive multi-player online video games, and “year-round sports” as among the distractions that have left society vulnerable to political and economic servitude.

Year round sports?  Have I been going to the wrong liberal meetings?

Come to think of it, that’s pretty much Junior Janchek, Jr.’s dream life – sex and football year ’round.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Think again.

I might support Hillary Clinton only because the rightwing hates her so much.

Sarah Palin can see Russia from her front porch but not the White House.

She said truth was “an endangered species at 1400 Pennsylvania Ave.” The White House is located at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

You know, maybe we should get some of those painted curb markers for the White House.  We could send Palin a framed copy with a note “Return to Sender.”

Holy cow y’all, you’d think she’d know the address since she’s already had the stationery printed.

Thelma says Sarah could have written it on her hard except for the spelling Pennsylvania part.  Her hand doesn’t have spellcheck.

Well, my goodness, it appears that Pennsylvania Republican Governor Tom Corbett has hired a staff that likes porn.  Kinky porn, which I will not describe here but — trust me — it’s kinky.  You really don’t want to know.  Unless, of course, you’re kinky and either drunk or lost at this beauty salon.

Attorney General Kathleen Kane reportedly gave local journalists a look at a series of sexually explicit emails, videos and photos that she said were circulated on state computers by staffers who worked for Corbett during his time as the state’s attorney general.

Some of those who allegedly sent and received the content, according to the newspaper, have gone on to high-ranking jobs in Corbett’s gubernatorial administration, including the state’s police commissioner and its secretary of environmental protection.

Okay, okay, so police commissioner is a stressful job.  And so is environmental protection … almost.

I’m gonna stop here and remind you that this kinky stuff was found on state computers, paid for by the good folks of Pennsylvania.  And, it might tell you something about the competency of the state police commissioner if the idiot doesn’t know that you cannot totally erase anything on a computer.

Corbett was on top of things, though.

Corbett’s Communications Director Lynn Lawson said “the images described in the accounts are unacceptable and have no place in the work environment.”

Ya think?

Now, I’d pitch a wall eyed snot nosed hissy fit here except for one thing.  Tom Corbett doesn’t have to fire these staffers because the voters of Pennsylvania will fire Tom Corbett in November.  Mark my word.

Please allow me to introduce Kevin Brady.

Brady is a Republican Congressfool in an area northeast of Houston.  He’s not a religious right radical, although he supports those who are.  He’s a financial radical.  He is a pure capitalist. When Grover Norquist says that he wants government small enough to drag to the bathroom and drown in the bathtub, Grover knows that Kevin Brady is already drawing the water in the tub.

And he drinks a little.  Okay, he drinks a lot.

Brady has up and decided that he wants to fight Paul Ryan for chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee.

His big thing is tax revision.  He wants to drown income tax and replace it with a national sales tax.  You know, because that will hurt minimum wage workers more than it’ll hurt him.  And that’s just fair because … freedom.

Okay, I have to say that I’m all for Republicans fighting each other.  But, Lord Have Mercy, I hope this is a fight we don’t have to see because neither of these cowboys have earned their boots.  Both Ryan and Brady will not be happy until there is no middle class and buyer beware is the national motto.

Thanks to Old Mayfly for the heads up.

Poor David Dewhurst.  First he loses to Ted Cruz and then to Dan Patrick.  That’s got to bother your head and other vital body parts.

So, David is seeing ghosts.  Scary ones.  On the border.  You know, no man’s land.

Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst (R) warned that “prayer rugs” have been found on the Texas side of the Mexican-Texas border and suggested that states have both an obligation and a right to act independently of the government on border security.

“Prayer rugs have recently been found on the Texas side of the border in the brush,” Dewhurst said during a speech Friday at the Values Voter Summit, echoing a claim reported on Breitbart and thought to actually be an Adidas soccer jersey.

The way we figure it, Dewhurst’s prayer rug is probably missing from Jaime Slimy’s Tavern and Bait Camp down near Lajitas.

You just ain’t lived until you’ve bargained with Jaime that he’ll throw in a cerveza with the purchase of a prayer rug.  In fact, Jaime has been known to double the price if you call if a prayer rug.

By the way, the velvet Elvis is a priceless original by Diego Rivera.  Well, it is a common name, you know.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.