It’s hard to decide who my favorite oddball in the Texas Lege is each session, but Debbie Riddle bubbles to the top most of the time.  Not only is she decidedly the meanest woman you ever met, I have often said that she could find a loophole in the law of gravity. Debbie invented the whole terror baby scare and once seriously said, “Where did this idea come from that everybody deserves free education, free medical care, free whatever? It comes from Moscow, from Russia. It comes straight out of the pit of hell.”  She also believes that children should starve to punish their parents.

And with Looney Leo Berman getting beat in the primary, the field narrows.  Berman once appeared on CNN and said that he didn’t believe that President Obama’s long form birth certificate was not legit because “there is no plaque in the hospital where he was supposedly born.”  Leo will be missed.

Anyway, you wanna know what’s worse than a fool?  A fool with an iPad.

Each lawmaker’s office in the Capitol will be offered two iPads for the session that begins Jan. 8. Each committee will get one, too. And the Legislature’s website has been upgraded to be readable on mobile devices for members of the public wishing to track legislation or find out about where and when committees are meeting.

Now, I’m pretty sure that we can convince Debbie Riddle that iPads are a tool of the devil.  And maybe teaching her to play games will keep her out of mischief.

And I, personally, am not too happy with spending money on iPads for a group of people who voted to cut $5  billion dollars from public education.  But that’s just me.

When I go to that great styling school in the sky, I want to ask God a question and it is this:  Why did you not strike down John Cornyn with a bolt of lightning when he accused someone else of abuse of power?

Hell, John Cornyn invented abuse of power.

John Cornyn is accusing Harry Reid and the Democrats of abuse of power for wanting to reform the filibuster, which John Cornyn has used for 4 years to abuse his power.  The very least that ought to happen to Cornyn is that he gets dizzy and vomits from all that damn spinning.

Here’s what the Democrats want …

What Reid appears most likely to do is push for an end to the filibuster on so-called motions to proceed, or the beginning of a debate on bills or nominations. If Reid goes this route, senators could still filibuster virtually any other aspect of Senate business, including any movement to end debate and call for a final vote on a bill.

And Reid is strongly considering pushing for other filibuster changes, too — most notably requiring senators to actually go to the floor and carry out an endless talking session, rather than simply threaten them as they do now. Reminiscent of the 1939 movie classic “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” the idea has picked up steam in liberal circles — and its intent is to discourage senators from filibustering, though it would fundamentally change the very nature of the modern Senate.

Republicans want to filibuster with no consequences known to the public.  What is it that Republicans are fond of saying, “Elections have consequences?”

And, ask yourself, would “fundamentally changing the very nature of the modern Senate be a BAD thing?”

Go nuclear on their butts, Harry.  And then step out of the way because it’s only a matter of time before God strikes John Cornyn with enough volts to jump start a nuclear submarine.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Just when you thought, or even hoped, that things couldn’t get nuttier in Texas, along comes Larry Kilgore, challenging all preconceived notions of social science.

Larry Scott Kilgore, a perennial Republican candidate from Arlington, a Dallas suburb, announced that he was running for governor in 2014 and would legally change his name to Larry Secede Kilgore, with Secede in capital letters. As his Web page, secedekilgore.com, puts it: “Secession! All other issues can be dealt with later.”

Until I see scientific proof that you cannot catch the crazy flu from a  website, I will not ask you to visit Larry’s erudite website.  It’s just one page, and here it it.  Seriously.  I am not joking.

You can click the little one to get the big one.  I support safe websurfing.

I’m wondering exactly what “issues” Larry is pondering.  To tell you the truth, I don’t think Larry has to tell us that he has “issues.”  I think that’s pretty damn self-evident.

This ain’t Larry’s first shot at trying to be somebody.

And this Kilgore guy gets to be spokesman because he is the only one of the secessionists who owns a suit.  All he needs is a Mitt Romney tattoo on his face and a date with Lindsay Lohan to qualify for institutional care.

They can have all the stoopid they want, but dammit, they can’t have Texas.  I’m bunkerin’ up here at the beauty salon with a curling iron and three industrial size bottles of Aqua Net.  I ain’t going down easy.

Thanks to Glynda for the heads up.

Okay, Folks and Folkettes, we have a collision  of major forces here where nothing is going to turn out good.

Remember how Saxby Chambliss thumbed his nose at Grover Norquist, which is only news because Chambliss generally only thumbs his nose at things that are good, holy, or respectful.

Well, Grover strikes back.  Now, I want you to read that sentence again.  Problem #1:  It’s real hard to take that seriously.  I mean, “Grover is gonna get you!” ain’t a warning that would send me scampering for the shotgun or under my bed.

Problem #2:  Grover’s weapon is that crazy woman who destroyed the Susan G Komen Foundation by taking on Planned Parenthood.   Yes, Karen Handel is considering a run against Chambliss in the GOP primary.  Her only talent appears to be hacking people off.  But, she’s loud at it, which I suppose is almost as handy at being good at it.

So, we may end up with Saxby Chambliss, a man with no shame, running against Karen Handel, a woman with even less.

Problem #3:  One of them has to win.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Thanks to Leslie for the heads up.

I’m beginning to feel like the receptacle of every insane Republican conspiracy.

And they just keep trying to one-up each other, which makes a lot of work for me.

Here’s a new one:

The federal government calls them FEMA Corps. But they conjure up memories of the Hitler Youth of 1930’s Germany. Regardless of their name, the Dept of Homeland Security has just graduated its first class of 231 Homeland Youth. Kids, aged 18-24 and recruited from the President’s AmeriCorp volunteers, they represent the first wave of DHS’s youth corps, designed specifically to create a full time, paid, standing army of FEMA Youth across the country.

Yep, take away that mustache, invasion of Poland, and that whole killing a couple million Jews, and it’s just like Hitler.  In fact, exactly like Hitler except that this is a group of volunteer first responders in emergency situations.

The investigator of this conspiracy is also very concerned about the age of those those involved, which, by the way, quickly went  from “volunteer first responders” to “new army” without even a  belch in between —

The first problem one finds with this ‘new army’ is the fact that they are mere children. Yes, 18 is generally the legal age a person can sign a contract, join the military or be tried as an adult. But ask any parent – an 18, 20 or even a 24 year-old is still a naïve, readily-influenced kid.

You mean like our armed military, the large portion of our local armed police force, and colleges where you rightwingers want to allow handguns?  It doesn’t seem to matter that these first responders are given shovels, not guns.  Rock beats scissors and shovel beats gun?

And then, ta da!, visions!

Individuals around the US have begun reporting the site of strange, new, heavily-armed FEMA fighting vehicles. What would a disaster relief agency like FEMA need with 2,500 brand new GLS armored fighting vehicles?

And Thelma saw Elvis at the Stop-N-Go.

And the other reason we know this is a ‘new army’ and not “volunteer first responders’ is that the Department of Homeland Security has ordered ammo and some tanks.  Ask yourself, “What the hell does the Department of Homeland Security need with ammo and tanks?  Are they planning on defending us or something?”  Hell no, they are arming a youth corp for Hitler Obama.

Now, the person who sent me this is named Tony.  Tony got it from his Republican brother, a man who knows this is all true because “no one has denied it.”

Which gave me an idea.

There are sheep and there is Mitch McConnell.  Those sheep look scared and Mitch McConnell looks happy.  That is proof that Mitch McConnell is doing the wild thing with sheep.

Go on, deny it.

Thanks to Tony for the heads up.