Now I know people from foreign states have quit listening to me about crazy Texas politicians, and have pretty much come to the conclusion that every politician in Texas is a pea short of a pod.  Hell, I have friends from other states signing a petition to MAKE Texas secede.

But, y’all, Ted Cruz, our newly elected Senator, is the rooster in the chicken crazy coop.  His wackiness stands out in Texas and that’s damn hard to do.  Honey, he wouldn’t be stable even if MIT mounted him on a tripod.

Glenn Beck, who is too crazy for even Fox News, came up with this whole United States Agenda 21 conspiracy.   Agenda 21 is one cell amoeba-talk for Let’s Test The Limits of Mental Health.

President Obama is using a mind control procedure known as the “Delphi Technique” to slowly condition Americans to submit to the control of the United Nations’ Agenda 21, which will, according to Searcy, force mass migrations of Americans out of the countryside and into the cities, while handing over control of our rural lands to an international, one-world government.

Somebody needs to tell this guy how to get to Sesame Street because he’s lost his brain.  I don’t know if it dripped out slowly or just exploded in a giant blast of insanity and OhMyGodWeHaveABlackPresident.

Ted Cruz is not only a leader of this movement, he’s a customer himself.  Ted believes that Agenda 21 is the brainchild of George Soros who wants to eliminate golf courses, paved roads, and grazing land.   Crap, not golf courses.  Anything but the golf courses.

And the Republicans put him in charge of outreach.  I suspect that’s because he has a butterfly net.

Thanks to Kathleen for the heads up.

Ole Bubba and I were tooting along the highway and heard an radio advertisement claiming that Obama had cloven hooves or some damn thing.  It was advertising a website called thirdterm4.com.  (Don’t go there yet.)

The theme of this website is that President Obama is preparing to take over the country and run for another term.  I mean, face it, what could be worse than that?  Marco Rubio and Chris Christie are certainly the answer to America’s prayers.  Okay, maybe not Rubio because he’s kinda brown.

Anyway, if you’re reading this on a smart phone or your iPad, it’s safe to click this now, and you will be taken to the website to read 14,509 words this guy has written.  If you’re on a PC, you will get a redirect to his voice reading you those 14,509 words.  There is a trick to help.  Right click your mouse, hit reload, and this screen comes up —

Click STAY ON PAGE, and he will shuddup and let you read.

Okay, you can click now.  ThirdTerm4.com

You do not have to read very far to realize that this is one crazy sumbitch.

And that he wants to sell you something.  He wants you to subscribe to his financial newsletter for $99.  And, hell, he’s taking a loss on that reduced price.

Even so, I want to make sure that everyone – literally everyone – in America has access to this information. It generally costs me about $70 or $80 to acquire and then service my customers. So, by pricing my work at less than $99 I’m taking a chance that I might actually lose money by selling you this information.

I don’t care. I’ve made plenty of money. Even if I do lose money – even a lot of money – on this deal I don’t care. It’s worth it to me to make sure that you’re informed. That you have the information you need to make smart and safe investments in this coming oil boom.

Whadda guy!  After he’s scared the crap outta you about the black guy, he’s willing to lose money helping you get rich because it’s worth it!

I want you to meet this great guy Porter Stansberry.  In 2007, he was fined $1.5 million after a bench trial against the SEC concerning … oh, you know it … fraud.

The SEC had accused the defendants of fraud concerning a “Special Report” authored by Stansberry, using the pseudonym ‘Jay McDaniel’, about publicly-listed uranium enrichment services provider USEC, Inc. and a promotional “Super Insider Tip Email” offering the Special Report for sale that was distributed on May 14, 2002, after which Pirate Investor sold 1,217 reports for $1,000 each.

Porter Stansberry is a snake oil salesman and crook defrauding people who are scared of Barack Obama.

If that ain’t a win-win, I don’t know what is.

We don’t give a Crazy Crap of the Month around here, but dammit, this might be a good time to start.

Republican lawmakers in Michigan, a state which eliminated tax credits for children last year, have proposed a tax credit for unborn foetuses of 12 weeks gestation.

Critics said the proposal was “absurd” and described it as a backdoor way of trying to pass “personhood” legislation which would give rights to an embryo and crack down on abortion.

Okay, and I haven’t even started on the fun part yet.

Fetus Lovin' Jud

One of the main sponsors of the foetus tax credit bill, Jud Gilbert, a Republican representative of Algonac, said the rationale behind it was to recognize that mothers have additional bills to pay.

Apparently, in Michigan, children don’t cost any money after they are born.

But, maybe not …

However, tax exemptions for children and families have been cut in the state, to the extent that another 9,000 children have been forced into poverty as a result, according to policy groups.

Way to go, Jud.  Your priorities are as clear as fog.

Jud Gilbert:  Crazy Crapper of the Month.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Let’s talk about Linda McMahon, Republican Senate candidate in Connecticut who spent $100 million dollars to lose twice.

Classy Linda

Remember how Mitt Romney cancelled staffers’ credit cards so they couldn’t even get home on election night? McMahon took that a few merry skips better.

After the last checks to her staffers bounced, one of them complained to the media.  The campaign said, “Yeah, yeah, all a big mistake, checks are in the mail and you know …”

Twaine Don Gomes was one of the people who first complained to News 8. He was handed a check, but he says, the campaign told him they were mad that he came to News 8, so he got a little something extra in his envelope.

“Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,” Gomes said. “That’s the rudest gesture you can ever do to a person, it’s like spitting in a person’s face.”

His check bounced as well.

They told him to go screw himself and then they did it for him.

But, it’s kinda understandable….

In fairness and in defense of Linda McMahon: It’s possible that she needed the money because she’s only worth a mere $500 million and owns a $40 million mansion in Greenwich, Connecticut, a $20 million vacation home and a $12 million penthouse in Manhattan. So, understandably, McMahon had to screw her part time staff over while humiliating them, in order to survive.

And these people are stunned, just stunned, that we did not give them the keys to the US Treasury.

Thanks to MB and Brian for the heads up.

Bubba’s law office got broken into last night and things are a mess.  I’m outta here today to go help him try to clean up and secure the place.

I’ll check back in this evening.

Let me start by making it very clear – I am not a fan of Saxby Chambliss.  I think he’s the son of a motherless goat and there is a real special place in hell for him for what he did to Max Cleland.  Saxby, who had a long record of deferments in Vietnam, attacked Cleland’s patriotism with negative ads featuring Osama bin Laden.  Cleland left three of his limbs in Vietnam.

Saxby Chambliss is so crooked that when he dies we’ll have to screw him in the ground.  And he’s so conservative we’ll have to wait until we’ve perfected time travel so we can go back to 1503 to do it.

But even blind squirrels can find acorns and it appears that Saxey is the first rat off Grover Norquist’s sinking canoe.

Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) said that fixing the nation’s debt problem may require breaking Grover Norquist’s anti-tax pledge, telling a Georgia television station Wednesday that “I care more about my country than I do about a 20-year-old pledge.”

“If we do it his way then we’ll continue in debt, and I just have a disagreement with him about that,” Chambliss told 13WMAZ. Chambliss said Norquist’s opposition to increased revenue adds to the debt and is a “fundamental disagreement.”

I’ll be damnned.

Imagine a Republican Party without Karl Rove and Grover Norquist.  I know, I know, they’ll just find some other old white guys who are meaner than a yellowjacket with a toothache to lead them.  But I was running out of synonyms for Beelzebub for Rove and doofus for Norquist.  This gives me a whole new synonym quest.

Of course, there’s always Gretchen Carlson, who is the fountain of stoopid.  You know what I decided?  She goes to the same hairdresser as Callista Gingrich but only stays half as long.

Anybody want to lay odds about who will be the next Republican senator to defy Grover?  And John McCain has to be removed from the competition because, bless his heart, he doesn’t know where he is.