Because Nobody Has Denied It

November 25, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I’m beginning to feel like the receptacle of every insane Republican conspiracy.

And they just keep trying to one-up each other, which makes a lot of work for me.

Here’s a new one:

The federal government calls them FEMA Corps. But they conjure up memories of the Hitler Youth of 1930’s Germany. Regardless of their name, the Dept of Homeland Security has just graduated its first class of 231 Homeland Youth. Kids, aged 18-24 and recruited from the President’s AmeriCorp volunteers, they represent the first wave of DHS’s youth corps, designed specifically to create a full time, paid, standing army of FEMA Youth across the country.

Yep, take away that mustache, invasion of Poland, and that whole killing a couple million Jews, and it’s just like Hitler.  In fact, exactly like Hitler except that this is a group of volunteer first responders in emergency situations.

The investigator of this conspiracy is also very concerned about the age of those those involved, which, by the way, quickly went  from “volunteer first responders” to “new army” without even a  belch in between —

The first problem one finds with this ‘new army’ is the fact that they are mere children. Yes, 18 is generally the legal age a person can sign a contract, join the military or be tried as an adult. But ask any parent – an 18, 20 or even a 24 year-old is still a naïve, readily-influenced kid.

You mean like our armed military, the large portion of our local armed police force, and colleges where you rightwingers want to allow handguns?  It doesn’t seem to matter that these first responders are given shovels, not guns.  Rock beats scissors and shovel beats gun?

And then, ta da!, visions!

Individuals around the US have begun reporting the site of strange, new, heavily-armed FEMA fighting vehicles. What would a disaster relief agency like FEMA need with 2,500 brand new GLS armored fighting vehicles?

And Thelma saw Elvis at the Stop-N-Go.

And the other reason we know this is a ‘new army’ and not “volunteer first responders’ is that the Department of Homeland Security has ordered ammo and some tanks.  Ask yourself, “What the hell does the Department of Homeland Security need with ammo and tanks?  Are they planning on defending us or something?”  Hell no, they are arming a youth corp for Hitler Obama.

Now, the person who sent me this is named Tony.  Tony got it from his Republican brother, a man who knows this is all true because “no one has denied it.”

Which gave me an idea.

There are sheep and there is Mitch McConnell.  Those sheep look scared and Mitch McConnell looks happy.  That is proof that Mitch McConnell is doing the wild thing with sheep.

Go on, deny it.

Thanks to Tony for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Because Nobody Has Denied It”


  1. Where was this guy when Bush & Cheney created Homeland Security in response to the 9/11 terrorist attacks? And then they proceeded to fund police agencies so they can buy tanks and ammo (see Arizona & Arpaio).

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  2. I’d like to know what the hell is in these people’s drinking water! What are they eating, what are they smoking … I’m sorry, I know it is Sunday morning, but what the hell is going on with these people? Has some kind of virus invaded ALL their brains?

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  3. The Border Patrol falls under the DHS. Perhaps they need ammunition on occasion. Personally I wish it weren’t so, but it is a good bet that is where the DHS arms purchases go.

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  4. Plenty of people deny the existence of god. Does that settle the question for him?

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  5. W C Peterson says:

    Your characterization of Mitch McConnell is Baaaaaad. But the logic holds with that described in your article.

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  6. Ya’ know, Marcia I feel the same. Where . . . under rocks in the muddy slithering fetid mosquito infested swamp where the gene pool is very shallow?
    I read some comments, I need some hydrogen peroxide right now. JJ do you have the 5% handy?

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  7. Ellen Childress says:

    I saw a short piece on national news yesterday about a tiny town in the north that found they could get a big, mean looking, heavily armored personnel-type vehicle through a grant from Homeland Security and got one. The mayor was interviewed and said he did not want it, tried to stop the acquisition, and still doesn’t understand why his, I am guessing now, fire department wanted the expensive, ugly thing.
    And in connection with some more craziness, I finally pulled and read Agenda 21, tenets of which two of our suburban cities have rescinded. Dallas still abides by some of it in our sustainable development principles and the requirement for LEED architecture for all new city buildings. I have to ask what all the hurrah is about.

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  8. Correction- That is not a wild sheep so Mitch and Dolly are doing the domestic thang. jus’ sayin’

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  9. Save the sheep! Gawd, can these folks get any crazier?

    Lindy

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  10. You know how the Republicans have decided to be all sane and reasonable and reach out to the groups they’ve been demonizing for thirty years. Does anyone but me see that not happening anytime soon?

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  11. If a brain-eating virus attached these folks, it would starve to death.

    BTW: I will never deny that McConnell looks (and acts) like the sort who wears hip boots in sheep country, so that must make it true.

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  12. Recently a sheriff’s department in a small town north of Houston acquired an armored military vehicle and a drone. They arranged a demonstration of these marvelous toys; newspapers sent photographers; TV stations sent camera crews. Deputies loaded into the military vehicle and drove around, the drone was launched and promptly dove into the military vehicle completely destroying the drone. No one was injured, the vehicle survived. No so the ego of the sheriff.

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  13. Sam in Kyle says:

    I’m sure that even sheep have standards.

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  14. @Sam:
    Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had in days.

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  15. Does anyone else think that Mitch McConnell bears too much resemblance to Mr. Magoo?

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  16. You guys better be careful. I fear a lawsuit for defamation of character. From the sheep of course.

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  17. Kay Carrasco says:

    Is this Agenda 21-slash- FEMA camp -slash- UN invasion idiocy what the bulgy-eyed whack job down at the smoke shop has been bleating about for months now? He would regularly ignore a whole line backing up at his window while he screeched to the poor captive customers about how if O was re-elected, people would be lined up against the wall and shot… and he expected to be among the first wave. Though I have to admit, he’s been reeealllll subdued since the election. He must seriously have believed that stuff.

    Heh. I should borrow my friend’s black Hummer, stick a fake UN sign on it and just go park in the shop’s lot. Not even drive up to the window. Just park…. and stare… and wait…..

    I’m just meen that way.

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  18. That FEMA armor isn’t a vision, it’s a flashback. You will recall that W mobilized Blackwater to defend the wealthy quarters of New Orleans during Katrina. Funny that nothing was said then.

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  19. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    Sheep? I thought Mitchy Mitch was into goats

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  20. Back in the ’90s, the Scots clones their first sheep and named it Dolly. Rumor has it that they don’t talk much about earlier experimental animals that didn’t turn out quite so well, including one that was named Mitch.

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  21. Sheep? I would have thought turtles.

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  22. I hear the goose step is required learning for these young volunteers.

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  23. See, the problem is that there’s a group formed to HELP people. In emergencies, no less. Right wingnuts think helping people is bad (Ayn Rand said so) because if they need help they’re moochers and morally lax, and helping them in emergencies is just an excuse for helping them at all. Therefore anyone who pretends to organize people to help people is actually organizing them to control people.

    If these idiots ever actually did any helping people themselves, they’d soon realize that you want young people to help people because they can work longer in bad weather with hardly any food than those of us over, say, 35. And they’re stronger. If you need to be yanked out of floodwaters by someone, do you want it to be some 20 year old guy who plays football in season and can sling bales of hay one-handed (either hand), or some squinty-eyed pot-bellied, diabetic 70 year old who has just enough strength to pull the trigger on his deer rifle?

    But if you don’t think people should be helped in the first place…it’s all got to be some kind of plot.

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  24. Uncle Dave says:

    Mitch does not look as happy as he looks sheepish. Hopefully, he will be lambasted on the Senate floor; otherwise, more Republicans may engage in this sort of rampant conduct directed toward, will, ewe can certainly imagine. It’s bad enough they tried to fleece the vote from Democrats.

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