Guest column by Bryan Bankston – 

There are many things the Nazis have ruined. The 1936 Summer Olympics, yelling and gesturing wildly while giving an impassioned speech, the Arc of the Covenant, and the fact that if you dress up as Charlie Chaplin for Halloween, you absolutely cannot take your bowler hat off.

But now that the Nazis are back, they have ruined one of my favorite things. Faux Polynesian kitsch. Yes, my favorite type of illumination while drinking rum out of a coconut waiting for the pig to finish spit-roasting: The tiki torch.

I don’t how the decision was made to utilize this particular variety of cultural appropriation, but I’m guessing one of the Nazis initially suggested the use of regular torches, but the rest of the Nazis were worried that it might confuse people into thinking they were protesting Frankenstein instead of the removal of a racist statue. After one particularly smart-ass Nazi brought up the fact that Frankenstein was the name of the doctor, not the monster, they decided on tiki torches

Fortunately I have a way to make tiki kitsch again, as well as completely changing the optics of the Nazi demonstrations. It’s easy. Replace all confederate statues with tiki statues.

When the Nazis come back to Charleston to protest, as they did a few days ago, this is what it will look like:

You know longer have a bunch of racists delivering a hate filled message. Now it’s just frat boys worshipping the tiki god. Problem solved.

I know a lot of you may disagree with me, but I was saddened to hear that Dianne Feinstein is running for reelection.

She will be 85 years old on election day in 2018.

I am not trying to discriminate against old people.  I am one. But, there comes a time when you need to pass the torch.  She is already the oldest serving US senator, and the longest serving female senator.

Feinstein was elected to the senate at the same time as Barbara Boxer.  Boxer retired and gave us Kamala Harris. It’s not like a Republican would get elected out of California if Feinstein didn’t run.

She’s had a distinguished career. She could retire now and mentor her replacement.

We got minority whip Steny Hoyer and minority leader Nancy Pelosi, both approaching 80, in the House.  We have got to develop some young leadership before the Democratic Party starts looking like Sun City.

Yeah, yeah, Bob Corker is babbling that Trump is gonna start WWIII.

Whoop de damn doo.

We’ve all been saying that for months and look what good it did.  Diddle squat.

Unless Corker wants to actually DO something about his worries, then he’s as worthless as the rest of them.

Do I see a resolution, Senator Corker?  Do I see a senatorial delegation to the White House, Senator Corker?

Darth Bannon is now targeting every Republican senator for replacement by funding primary opponents, except one — Ted Cruz.

Steve Bannon and his allies are planning a hostile takeover of the Republican Party. And only one Senator running in 2018 will get a free pass: Ted Cruz.

Breitbart’s Washington Editor Matt Boyle writes today that conservatives are “running or actively seeking out” serious primary challengers for every incumbent Republican senator running in 2018 except the Texan.

Ted Cruz, who fancies himself a real ladies’ man and a genius to boot, is exactly the prototype that Bannon wants for his new Republican Party.  Here’s a man who filibustered by giving a dramatic reading of Dr Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham without ever getting the irony that Green Eggs and Ham is about learning to try and perhaps like new things.

I am not surprised that Bannon likes Cruz.  They are both shivers looking for a spine to run up.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Thanks to everybody for sending me this link.

The Republican Guide to Presidential Etiquette

If you have any Republican friends left, please make sure they get to see this.

Holy damn crap on a glo-stick with crepe paper streamers and a damn siren.

Donald J Trump is done, done, done, with health care. He has much bigger things to do. Screw your cancer and crap.

“You know in theory, I want to focus on North Korea, I want to focus on Iran, I want to focus on other things. I don’t want to focus on fixing somebody’s back or their knee or something. Let the states do that.”

No, he said that.  Honest to God, he did.

Your health care is not important enough for Trump to work on.  He’s gotta bomb some damn thing.

This  guy creeps me out, y’all.