In these days of a deadly virus, the US economy tanking, leadership change in an unstable nuclear power, and threats of international terrorism, it’s so great to know that Senator Ted Cruz knows where our attention needs to be:  China totally screwed up the movie Bohemian Rhapsody by making Freddie Mercury totally not gay enough. 

And he appeared to be sober. Stoned maybe because that’s hard to tell, but sober.

“One of your bills is called the Script Act,” Fox News host Maria Bartiromo announced. “[Chinese officials] have really bullied Hollywood and Hollywood producers roll over about it. You’ve mentioned a couple of films before Top Gun, Bohemian Rhapsody.

“It really is tragic that Hollywood has been willing to, over and over again, to kowtow to Chinese communists and let the Chinese government censor American movies,” Cruz opined.

Cruz says that Hollywood allows China to edit their movies.  Seriously.

The, being as cute as cute can be, I mean even cuter than reading “I Do Not Like Green Eggs and Ham” on the senate floor, Cruz mocks Maverick, a leading character in Top Gun.

Referring to a character in Top Gun, the senator complained: “We’re saying Maverick is afraid of the damn Chinese communists.”

No, Senator, we’re not saying that. You are saying that and you look like a damn fool.

And then he goes off on Freddie Mercury being not-gay-enough in the Chinese version of the movie.

They did it because the Chinese government didn’t want to acknowledge that Freddy Mercury was homosexual. Look, that’s a huge part of the story!”

“The problem is Hollywood is more interested in making millions of dollars from the Chinese market than they are in free speech, than they are in artistic integrity,” the senator added.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit – Ted Cruz defending homosexuality as “artistic integrity” – two words when he doesn’t know the meaning of either.

Hell, Ted, 90% of your supporters don’t want to acknowledge homosexuality at all.  Are you afraid of those damn American terrorists?

Cruz shivers up and down my spine almost daily. Sometimes I have serious doubts that he and I are in the same species.

Thanks to SGray for the heads up.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

Maryland has a Republican Governor by the name of Larry Hogan.

Hogan told Robert Costa of the Washington Post today that he put his state’s Covid-19 testing supplies in an undisclosed location to hide them from the federal government.

And by the federal government, he means Donald Trump.

Maryland Republican Gov. Larry Hogan told the Washington Post’s Robert Costa on Thursday that he has had to hide COVID-19 testing kits to make sure President Donald Trump doesn’t commandeer them.

During an interview with Costa, Hogan explained how he worked to smuggle testing kits in from South Korea in a complicated process that took over three weeks to pull off.

Hogan said that he even called in the Maryland National Guard to oversee the delivery of the shipment of the testing kits as they arrived at BWI.

And now they are at an undisclosed location being guarded by the state police and the Maryland National Guard.

Remind me who the enemy is?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Y’all, shame on you.  Shame on you for making fun of Mike Pence for going into the Mayo Clinic without a mask because he wanted “to look people in the eye.”

Yeah, well, that didn’t work.  You don’t put masks over your eyes, unless he accidentally ordered a Lone Ranger mask.  Which, come to think of it, is within the realm of possibility.

So, when his excuse didn’t fly, they called in the calvary.  Mother. They called Mother. For the few deaf, dumb, and blind who are Juanita fans, Mike Pence calls his wife “Mother,” which is way kinkier than I wish to ponder on.

Mother says.

He didn’t know. I mean, he couldn’t tell from everybody else wearing a mask.

Her story is that he didn’t know about it. His story is that he’s a bumbling fool.

The Mayo Clinic also has a story.

The real scary part about this is that these two actually had children.

Okay, it’s time to panic.

Cooper’s Barbecue says “due to production storages” they are having to raise the price of their brisket box from $95 to 120.

This is some serious stuff, y’all.

Riots have started in Texas before now over barbecue shortages.

For you people from foreign states, a Cooper’s brisket (my personal favorite brisket) will serve 2 people for 8 – 10 days.

And when they say any kinda of shortage – people in Texas go buy all the toilet paper.  I’m warning ya.

Dick Wilkerson, former head of Michelin’s North America unit and a man with deep pockets, has been a longtime supporter of Senator Lindsey Graham.  He even had a major leadership role in Graham’s silly and short-lived presidential try.

That’s all changed.

He’s supporting Democrat Jaime Harrison.

Jaime Harrison

“Jaime is the perfect candidate to bring together South Carolinians from all walks of life,” he said. “I am proud to endorse Jaime today, and I know first hand he is the change South Carolina needs.”

The seat is rated safely R.  You know, who’s to say the word “safely” in today’s world?  I don’t think diddly squat is safely now days.

This is a big damn deal, y’all.

Go to Act Blue and give Jaime $5 today.  Just type his name in the search bar at the top of the page. Your $5 says that you’re on board.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.