Honey, my Schaden is hauling in some freude today.

Grab hold of your giggle box.  Here it is.

No kidding.

Republicans who gave money to the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) this year, in order to help support incumbent Republican senators, might want to check their credit card statements.

Those who donated to the NRSC between March 16 and October 5, 2016, conducted their transaction on a platform that was compromised by malicious code designed to steal credit card details and personal information. The NRSC quietly corrected the problem sometime around October 6, 2016.

So the party shouting the praises of wikileaks got leaked all over.

And here’s how much the Republican Party cares about their donors.

As of October 17, the NRSC website makes no mention of the new storefront, or the compromised e-commerce platform.

Unfortunately, this means GOP supporters who had their credit card information compromised could be caught by surprise once their accounts show signs of fraudulent activity, and left completely unaware of the problem’s root cause.

That means they hung a “Who, Me?” sign on the door.

Sumbitches, I tell you.  They are sumbitches.

Y’all, I think we might have a winner in the Twisting With Jesus category for this election.

This weekend, Pennsylvania Republican Congressweirdo Glenn Thompson, says he’s not happy with Donald Trump’s dirty talk, but said that his wife explained it to him …

“Her explanation to me was that God takes the imperfect, and makes perfect for his purpose,” Thompson said at the debate at Penn State University.

Yeah, well, dude, exactly when is that gonna happen?  I’m asking for a friend.  I mean, Trump has made a lot of promises for his first day in office.  If God slacks off that day, Trump could nuke Canada.

And, Honey, I am not asking for perfect, I’m only asking for sane.

Newt.  Try saying that name without a heap of disdain in your voice.  Can’t do it, can you?

Wanna make it worse?

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich stood by Republican nominee Donald Trump’s claim that the election is being “rigged,” blaming what he calls “the unending one-sided assault of the news media” on the GOP candidate.

“Without the unending one-sided assault of the news media, Trump would be beating Hillary Clinton by 15 points,” Gingrich told ABC News’ Martha Raddatz on “This Week.”

Newt Gingrich would not be stable even if you mounted him on a tripod.

Did you see SNL last night?

Trump did.

Says the least self aware man in the world.

Well, you attack Bill Clinton.  Yeah, Bill Clinton. For coming to the Presidential debate. Seriously.

The boys who own and operate our local newspaper here are still outraged, outraged I tell you, over Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky.  Bless their hearts, they are so old that the Clinton / Lewinsky episode saved them a fortune in Viagra while it was happening.

I need to tell you that in Texas, outrage passes for foreplay in most Republican homes.  So, they keep a Bill Clinton card in their back pocket and they can skip the whole wine and Sinatra part.

Their newspaper is behind a giant paywall so I will show you the editorial they had today and the front page.  I’ve never seen such scared little ninnies in my life.

Here’s the editorial.  You can click on the picture to see it full size.

A little reminder for the boys at the Fort Bend Herald:

After his impeachment proceedings in 1998 and 1999, Clinton’s rating reached its highest point at 73% approval. He finished with a Gallup poll approval rating of 65%, higher than that of every other departing president measured since Harry Truman.

See, boys, that would include Ronald Reagan.  Reagan left office with an approval rating of 57%.  I’d also like to note that their hero Tom DeLay, who lead the fight against Clinton, ended up with an approval rating of 27%.

I guess I also need to remind them that Clinton was impeached but not convicted.

If you’re wondering how the Fort Bend Herald boys justify their statement of “Most reasonable people accused and shamed publicly disappear into the fabric of society never to be seen again,” with the horror of man they support for President, take a look at the front page.

That newspaper defies seven laws of physics by being able to stand up straight on the page.  Why it doesn’t topple over to the right is a mystery.  I cannot imagine why they didn’t find a Benghazi story in this edition.

I’ve got fifty bucks riding on the bet that the Fort Bend Herald will be the first newspaper in America to endorse Donald Trump.

Good Lord.   Amazing. Astounding. Unbelievable.  Really?  Were your fingers quivering when you typed that, boys?

Mike Pence is a jerk.  There’s no way over, under, or around that.  Hell, his jerk tree is so high that an eight legged cat couldn’t climb it.

But, I almost felt sorry for him yesterday.

Pence was jabbering about how there was going to be proof, proof I tell you, that Donald Trump did not grope all those women.  Bless his heart, he was damn near gleeful about it.

“Before the day is out there will be more evidence that calls into question these [sexual assault] allegations,” Pence said Friday morning on CBS.

“Just stay tuned. I know that there is more information that is coming out that will back his claim that this is all categorically false,” he added.

So, we all waited, making notes of how we would word our sincere apology to Donald Trump.

Honey, my Schaden is filled with a ton of Freude.  Scamming Trump got scammed by a scammer.

A British man named Anthony Gilberthorpe has stepped forward to serve as an exculpatory witness for Trump.  He says he was sitting across the aisle from Trump and Jessica Leeds on the airplane flight where Trump was all over her. Gilberthorpe says that Leeds was the aggressor.

Somebody in the Trump campaign should learn to use Google because they would have found a bushel basket of cringeworthy things about Gilberthorpe.  And after yesterday they would have found this.

Grasp that straw, Pence!  You’re more of jerk today than yesterday.