Y’all, this is not Momma-approved.  Momma wants you to know that she raised me better than this.

But, damn.  This is funny.

And, yeah, it really is Vicente Fox.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYZKrn7Bbl8

It’ll be the best 4 minutes you spend all day.

You’re welcome.

Remember how we used to call men who wagged their weenie in public, sent “surprise!” lewd pictures of themselves to women, demanded sex prior to consideration for employment, or behaved in a lecherous manner, perverts.

Well, now they are called Fox News Hosts.

If you joined in The Race Across Texas, your first question should have arrived this morning.  I got mine at 7:30.  If you didn’t, check your spam box.  It’s coming from “Brian Bollinger, Texas State Historical Association.”

It’s an open book test and they tell you where to find the answer.  So winning boils down to who has the most people on their team and how many on that team take the time to look up the answers.  (It will not kill you to look up the answers and you’re able to learn something.)

It’s not too late to join our team and help get ballots by mail to Texas voters over the age of 65.

Thank you to those who did join!

The Twitter Machine catches this one from Newt Gingrich.

I swear to all that is sparkling, Newt Gingrich is bean dip dumb.

Look, it ain’t brain surgery or even Vatican Ambassadorship smart. Trump is not accused of committing any crimes in West Virginia. If he ever is, there will be a grand jury there.

I got a speeding ticket in Bastrop once and that’s where it went to trial, even though I have far more friends in Del Rio.  Whine, whine, whine.

Soon enough, a grand jury may be empaneled in New York for Trump’s financial crimes, where Trump only got 36% of the vote.  I’m sure Newt will whine that it should be empaneled in Alabama where Trump got 63% of the vote, except that they couldn’t find 12 people in Alabama who know how a checking account works.

West Virginia?  Hell, let’s just move it to Mar-a-Loco so Newt will think it’s fair.

Does this remind you of anyone we both know?

Once the transcripts of the phone conversation between Trump and Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto were leaked, things got really weird.

The transcript shows that Trump admitted he knew damn well that Mexico was not going to pay for the wall and that he couldn’t make them.  So he whined to Peña Nieto.

Trump pleaded with Peña Nieto to not say publicly that Mexico wouldn’t pay.

“Believe it or not, this is the least important thing that we are talking about,” Trump said, “but politically this might be the most important talk about.”

Peña Nieto insists he will continue to firmly say Mexico will not pay for the wall: “But my position has been and will continue to be very firm saying that Mexico cannot pay for that wall.”

Trump responds: “But you cannot say that to the press. The press is going to go with that and I cannot live with that.”

“He’s the opposite of Teddy Roosevelt,” that official quipped to Guajardo about Trump. “He speaks loudly and carries a small stick.”