Okay, I do not like to be happy when bad things happen to other people. Unless, of course, they damn well deserved it.

EAGLE GROVE, Iowa—On a cloud-swept landscape dotted with grain elevators, a meat producer called Prestage Farms is building a 700,000-square-foot processing plant. The gleaming new factory is both the great hope of Wright County, which voted by a 2-1 margin for Donald Trump, and the victim of one of Trump’s first policy moves, his decision to pull out of the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

For his part, Trump once promised a slew of “beautiful” deals to replace the TPP, but his administration has yet to lay out a detailed strategy.

I guess it was kinda like repeal and replace except they haven’t decided how to replace it, letting China take America’s place as the leading trade negotiator.

“I’m scared to death,” said Ron Prestage, whose North Carolina-based family pork and poultry business made its huge investment in the plant near Eagle Grove in part to reap expected gains from the TPP.

I do not know where the beautiful deals are and neither does Trump.

But the people who voted for him are getting hurt.  Maybe they’ll learn something.

Probably not, though.

Donald Trump announced today —

“North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States,” warned Mr. Trump from his golf club in Bedminster.

“They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen,” he told reporters. “He has been very threatening — beyond a normal statement,” Mr. Trump said of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. “As I said, they will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before.”

First of all, here’s how he looked while he announced it.

Either he’s getting into the cufflink business or he’s a 5 year old refusing to eat his broccoli.

Then, add a new CBS News poll that says “a majority remains uneasy about President Donald Trump’s ability to handle the situation with North Korea’s nuclear program. Only a third are confident in his ability.”

That means that 1/3 of America is drunk, delusional, and think North Korea is just above Utah on the map.

Y’all, the two craziest small handed leaders on earth are spoiling for a fight.

Oh yeah.  Here ya go.

President Donald Trump’s retweet of a Fox News story claiming US satellites detected North Korea moving anti-ship cruise missiles to a patrol boat is raising eyebrows on Tuesday after US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley indicated that the information in the report is classified and was leaked.

So I’m wondering who leaked to Fox News?  Yes, I’m looking at you, Donald Trump.

You know, I’d put the leak right here but I don’t want to be impeached.

Alabama, you suck!

A new JMC Analytics poll in Alabama finds Roy Moore leading the Republican field for the U.S. Senate primary with 30%, followed by Sen. Luther Strange at 22%, Rep. Mo Brooks at 19% and  Trip Pittman at 6%.

If you don’t know who Roy Moore is, he is a man who has been ordained by God to hate homosexuals, liberated wimmen, all things not white and Baptist, and reading books.

He is a damn mess.

Seriously, a real mess.  His wife is is the president of the Foundation for Moral Law and his son is a A Real Mess, Junior.  He has been arrested 8 times in 5 years, mostly for driving drunk.  The last arrest was for illegal hunting on private property, which in Alabama means you were walking around your neighbor’s backyard with a rifle.

Donald Trump has made Roy Moore look acceptable.

I damn well hate both of them.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Just click right here and enjoy the hell outta yourself.

And please feel free to click around at OutSmart.  It’s classy, sassy, and very smart.

This afternoon North Korea said the U.S. will “pay dearly” for the economic sanctions.

Dear North Korea,

Thank you for the heads up.  We’ve been kinda depressed lately so even a threat sounds exciting to us.

I’d like to remind you that North Korea has a Dear Leader and so do we. Our Dear Leader, Donald Trump, is strong, wise, beloved, and the best Dear Leader ever in the history of all mankind and Mars if there was ever life on Mars.  There’s never been a better Dear Leader than he is and there never will be.  If you don’t believe me, just ask him.

Look, I am a good American so you can bomb anything you want to.  But please, pretty please, be respectful and do not, do NOT, bomb all of Trump’s golf courses, especially any that he is playing oops, working, on.

We appreciate your help in this matter.  Not Trump’s golf courses.  Reminder: do not bomb one of Trump’s golf courses.  The worst thing that could happen to America is for the Better That You Dear Leader Trump to be standing on the first tee and having to watch his beautiful golf course turn into a dump right before his eyes.

Thank you,

Juanita Jean