No, No, Not The Briar Patch!
This afternoon North Korea said the U.S. will “pay dearly” for the economic sanctions.
Dear North Korea,
Thank you for the heads up. We’ve been kinda depressed lately so even a threat sounds exciting to us.
I’d like to remind you that North Korea has a Dear Leader and so do we. Our Dear Leader, Donald Trump, is strong, wise, beloved, and the best Dear Leader ever in the history of all mankind and Mars if there was ever life on Mars. There’s never been a better Dear Leader than he is and there never will be. If you don’t believe me, just ask him.
Look, I am a good American so you can bomb anything you want to. But please, pretty please, be respectful and do not, do NOT, bomb all of Trump’s golf courses, especially any that he is playing oops, working, on.
We appreciate your help in this matter. Not Trump’s golf courses. Reminder: do not bomb one of Trump’s golf courses. The worst thing that could happen to America is for the Better That You Dear Leader Trump to be standing on the first tee and having to watch his beautiful golf course turn into a dump right before his eyes.
Thank you,
Juanita Jean
If Trump’s butt gets any bigger, Kim will be able to target it using Google Earth. I’m just sayin”…
1I think North Korea has some catching up to do in the threats department. Try something like this Kim:
“We will bomb American golf courses, and you will pay for the bomb too!”
2Dear Leader Kim, extra points for creating a new sand trap directly below Donnie’s feet.
3Now that’s what I call reverse psychology!
4Dear Kim Jong Un,
Ohhhh kay. So I know you guys call yourselves the hermit kingdom and all, but have you NOT seen or heard how the US military destroyed a pretty good dictatorship in Libya, killing the dictator? And destroyed a pretty good 4th century dictatorship in Afghanistan, killing off the successors one by one by remote controlled drones? And assassinated the nominal leader of al-Quida, then dumped his rotting corpse in the middle of what the Pacific?? And you want a nukalur exchange with these people? You with your 3 or 4 nukes exchanging with a superpower nation with what 3, 4,000 nukes. Are you serious? Do you really think your Chinese or Russian bros can give you an umbrella to turn all this steel rain??? Snot gonna happen dude. You’re gonna be dead and the South will reunify the North over YOUR rotting corpse.
Think about this: you got a third generation dictatorship, which the world has never known. Play your cards right and this dictatorship can go into a fourth generation. Chose wrong here and you’ll be remembered by an asterisk next to your name in random history books.
Your choice.
Regards
5Micr from Texas
….and like Kim’s father, our Dear Leader does not have a anus (true belief over there) and does not defecate, which explains why he is full of s***.
6Cheryl, thanks for that information. Here I was believing our Dear Leader was just one very large anus with a mullet.
7Yes, but our Dear Leader has never posted ten holes in one in a single round, but he appears intent on trying for the next seventeen days at his own golf course in New Jersey. Keeping up with the Kims should be a national priority and profit center.
8The Loud-mouthed Anus seems to forget he cannot declare war without the permission of the Legislative Branch.
Of course, there’s no telling what they won’t tell him “no” about.
Sigh. Time to stock up on dried beans and canned foods.
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