It is unclear if she’s an Aggie.

COLLEGE STATION (AP) — Authorities say a Central Texas woman has accidentally shot her husband while trying to kill a skunk in their yard.

The Brazos County Sheriff’s Office says the incident happened Sunday night in the College Station area as the wife fired a handgun.

Sheriff Chris Kirk says the husband was shot in the abdomen. The victim has been transported to a hospital in Houston.

Further information on the man’s condition was not immediately available Monday. Names of the couple have not been released.

Aiming a tad high there, Honey.

While looking over the GOP schedule for their convention, I couldn’t help but notice that they put Rick Santorum on Tuesday night at 7:00.  I suspect that fits under the theory that you should take your medicine and get it over with.  Stick him at the front and hope everybody forgets him by the end.

Right before Rick the Pious speaks, there’s somebody named Janine Turner speaking.  That name sounded vaguely familiar to me.  I looked it up.  She’s the actress who played the role of Maggie on Northern Exposure.  And then June Cleaver in Leave it to Beaver. In 2007, she appeared in a promotional video for ‘Christoga,’ a “Christian form of Yoga” because, you know, regular yoga is probably Muslim or something.  Click the link and learn that Sweet Jesus wants you to go around with your belly button hanging out and doing crazy crap in front of candles and crosses.

And then I found this interesting tidbit on wiki —

Turner lives on a longhorn cattle ranch outside of Dallas, Texas, with her daughter, Juliette Turner-Jones.  Juliette’s father is Jerry Jones, Jr., son of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. Turner and Jones had an affair while Jones was still married to his wife.

Okay, so then she writes a book called Holding Her Head High: 12 Single Mothers Who Championed Their Children and Changed History. No Honey, you’re not a single mother, you’re a home-wrecker who boinged some other woman’s husband.  That ain’t nothing to be proud of – even in Texas.

Now I’m not saying that Ms. Turner will fit snugly in the arms of GOP hypocrisy … oh hell, yes I am.  That’s exactly what I’m saying.  She get all Jesus-upped to dress like a pavement princess and make a few bucks.  She makes sparks with somebody’s husband and then claimed she did it to change history.

And I’ll be damned, “On May 17, 2010 Turner was a paid speaker at an event sponsored by the “Americans for Prosperity” foundation, honoring Tea Party citizen leaders.”  It’s a career move.

Where do they find these women?  Well, wherever it is, they can keep them.

Da Chipster!  (with additions by Barb in DC and TexasEllen)

The 40th Republican National Convention is nearly upon us, four whole days of angry white villagers in funny hats holding a pep rally to elect the most regressive ticket since Strom Thurmond/Fielding White in 19 and 48.  Their snarky theme will be “why, yes, I DID build this by myself,” but in a spectacular display of unintentional irony theatre, they’ll be holding it in an arena built with GOBS of government gilt.

So, if spending the week before Labor Day weekend contemplating the potential Presidency of a guy who never labored a day in his life is enough to drive you to drink… well, then, you might as well do it up right.

Try my RNC drinking game.

First, a couple of house rules:  if you are watching network coverage, which is shorter, it’s preferred to use hard liquor shots.  If you are watching extended coverage and/or have future plans for your liver, shots of beer or wine are acceptable.

The order of drinking begins clockwise, but can change direction.

If you point at someone you must use your elbow, unless they are a Romney supporter, in which case you may also use your ass – they don’t know the difference.

If you miss your turn and get called on it, double the drink penalty, unless you immediately blame the lamestream liberal media for your gaffe.

If they tout Mitt as a “job creator” – drink one shot.

If they show a token minority – drink one.

If they show the same token again – drink two.

Basic hypocritical statement – drink one.

If they show Ann – drink two, one for each Cadillac.

If they blame Democrats/Obama for something that is the Republicans’ fault – choose someone else to drink.

If they push a position that Mitt has flipflopped on – CHANGE DIRECTION.

If they mention the 2002 Winter Olympics – drink in a luge position on the coffee table.

If they mention Massachusetts – yell “NORM!” and drink.

If they mention Bain – claim to have had a drink retroactively.

If they mention Ronald Reagan – drink.

If they mention Dubya – FREE PASS.

Seeing this guy, who appears at every GOP convention because he’s the only black guy ever there, two drinks and a “Lookie, Mabel, there’s that black guy again!”

Your rules can vary, but the result should be the same:  a rip-roaring drunk, followed by a Technicolor yawn of Niagara proportion, followed by a passed-out face-plant into a bowl of Cheeto dust, followed by a hangover so bad it sets off alarms at the CDC.

Which is pretty much how I’d spend every night of Romney’s putative putrescent Presidency.

For safety, sobriety and sanity sake, you can add  cup of coffee for every favorable comment about Barack Obama.  Also, glass of V8 for any praise of Michelle Obama.  Don’t bother to brew that coffee until the opportunity is presented.

Sam from Kyle

We’re gonna hear a lot of disturbing news from Florida in the next few days:   Widespread destruction and human misery; emergency rooms filled with sick and injured; hoarding and black markets; and widespread violence and looting.  But enough about the Republican Party Platform.

There are lots of things you won’t hear from the convention (motto: Science = B – i – b – l – e).  For instance, “Where’s Newt?” or “How bout’ them Mormons?” probably won’t make it to the fair and balanced Fox broadcast.  What both deal with, of course, is multiple wives.  Newt to be fair only committed bigamy for a short time while Mitt’s grandfather had 12, count em, 12 wives.  Is there any wonder Mitt grew up to be such a strong leader with unwavering views?  He comes from a family where his grandfather not only owned 12 wives; he also had to deal with 12 mother-in-laws.  If corporations are people, Mitt’s ancestor ran 12 corporations and dealt with 12 board of directors.

What other words will we not hear?  Based on what we’ve heard and seen over the past decades terms like compassion, Christ like,  social network, sex (except between a GOP delegate and a hooker), love, empathy, gay rights, minority rights, responsible foreign policy will all be verboten on the floor of the gathering.  If, heaven forbid, one of these terms are mentioned, it will have the phrase “The Republican party abhors ……”.  Delegates will shrug their shoulders and go back to reading the theme book of the convention, Fifty Shades of White.”

Instead, delegates will stifle their collective gag reflex and nominate Mitt Romney and his trusty sidekick Robin to lead us down the path to fiscal Hell, at least for those of us who don’t keep our best friends in vaults in Switzerland and the Cayman Islands.  After all, in GOP eyes Mitt may be a flip flopper with morals that Bernie Madoff would deplore, but he is the epitome of all they stand for:  greed, bigotry, and fear.

Y’all remember Judge Tom Head out in Lubbock who said that he would lead the Lubbock police department in head to head combat with the United Nations troops when Obama ordered them to overtake Lubbock?

Tom Head: Raising Taxes Because He Wants To

Ole Tom is a County Judge.  A county judge is not a real judge.  Our county judge here in Fort Bend is named Bob Hebert and he did in fact legitimately graduate high school.  He has an online college degree, a bought master’s degree, and a fake PhD so nutty that the Texas Attorney General ordered him to take it off his official letterhead. But, he wears judicial robes and calls himself judge.

However, county judges make the agenda for commissioners court.  In Texas, commissioners court is the single most corruptible form of government known to man.  They control every dollar spent by the county, and through a loophole in Texas law, they do not have to go out for lowest bidder on everything.

Which brings us back to County Judge Tom head and his hatred for all things federal government.  Well, except their money.

The county he wants to defend against the federal government spent at least $136,209 provided by the federal government for law enforcement in fiscal 2011, the county’s financial report shows. The programs include grants used for updating technology for law enforcement efforts. Lubbock County also received $66,778 from the federal government for the State Criminal Alien Assistance Program, which reimburses states and localities for dealing with illegal immigrants, according to the program website.

Yo, Tom, go slap yourself.  You’re such a silly boy.

Texas Republicans are whining again! that they are sitting at the back of the convention hall at the Republican National Convention.

Look, Republicans may be dumber than bean dip but even they know that you hide the crazy old uncle in attic when people come to visit.

Texas Democrats are housed closer to the convention site – and it’s at a water park even! – than the Texas Republicans are.  Plus, we don’t whine.  We are just dandy proud to be there.  Seriously, we were kinda afraid people might think crazy is contagious in Texas and not even invite us.

And that, my friends, is the difference between Democrats and Republicans – the damn whining.  The feelings of entitlement and superiority.   But mostly the whining.