As you know, both Ted Cruz and Rick Perry are spending more time in Iowa than Texas.  I’m not complaining.  In fact, I feel a little blessed that they both switched out of cowboy boots and into fly-over clothes.

Apparently, the Republicans in Iowa think the Texas Twins are a boatload of whoopee. Especially the one who can talk for 21 hours and say diddle squat.

And the latest news is that some Republicans in Iowa are talking about Ted.

The lengthy Senate speech “only confirmed to me as an Iowa activist that this man has what it takes to run for president,” said Jamie Johnson, a member of the state GOP central committee who was state chairman of former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum’s winning 2012 caucus campaign.

Hell, yeah, Jamie Johnson!  You propelled Santorum to stardom as well as Cruz’s speech accomplished … well, anything at all.  You two guys deserve each other.

Okay, Customers, remember how I told you that Glen Maxey promised to dance on the table if we hit $4,000?

We just hit $6,000 and although Glen is conducting a Texas Democratic Party Training in Corpus Christi, he’s still dancing on the table just for us.  So, I am pleased to introduce you to the Honorable and Distinguished former State Representative, current member of the Democratic National Committee, Director of Training for the Texas Democratic Party, and retired rodeo clown, Glen Maxey.

And thank you to my friend Matagorda County Democratic Chair Nora Dearing for the great photo.

To be honest with you guys, I thought we’d make about $1,000 from the beauty salon.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You think Ted Cruz has a screw loose in his thinker assembly?

Please meet his sire in the breeding stock at the holy crap what are these people thinking farm.

Ted’s dad is a dominionist.  Now all parents think their kids are real special, but Raphael Cruz has got that particularity floored in neutral.

In a sermon last year at an Irving, Texas, megachurch that helped elect Ted Cruz to the United States Senate, Cruz’ father Rafael Cruz indicated that his son was among the evangelical Christians who are anointed as “kings” to take control of all sectors of society, an agenda commonly referred to as the “Seven Mountains” mandate, and “bring the spoils of war to the priests”, thus helping to bring about a prophesied “great transfer of wealth”, from the “wicked” to righteous gentile believers. There is a link to the video of Rafael Cruz describing the “great transfer of wealth” and the role of anointed “kings” in various sectors of society, including government, who are to “bring the spoils of war to the priests”.

And to think I was bragging when my son could go potty.

Yeah, I think he tried to do that with shutting down the government but cashing his own paycheck.  It didn’t work out all that well.

Remember how we used to worry about George Dubya having to live up to his father’s legacy.  Honey, that was child’s play.

Two female Republican judges in Texas had a full fledged crime syndicate going on in the courtroom out in … you guessed it, East Texas, home of Louie Gohmert.

Judge Elizabeth Coker wanted to be both judge and prosecutor.  During a trial on child abuse, she passed notes to a local  prosecutor, Kaycee Jones, suggesting questions that Jones should relay to the prosecutor trying the case.

That’s called poopie del toro.  It is also called illegal.  Both women admit guilt.  Jones writes —

Jones

“On August 8, 2012, I did receive a text message from Judge Coker that suggested a line of questioning in an injury to a child trial over which she was presiding and telling me to tell the trial prosecutor,” writes Jones in an April 2013 letter, which was obtained by the station. “I was not the trial prosecutor and had nothing to do with the investigation or prosecution of the case, but I was present in the courtroom for portions of the trial as an observer. When I received the text, I hand wrote the text verbatim and asked our investigator to deliver it to the prosecutor who was trying the case.”

Jones adds, “I deeply regret that I acted in this manner. It was wrong and I knew better.”

After this incident, Jones herself became a judge.  She is a member of the Rotary Club and Central Baptist Church.  She apparently sleeps well at night which is totally creepy.

The Judicial Conduct Commission can’t do anything about it because this happened before she was a judge.  There is a complaint at the Bar Association.  Except some shockingly offensive wrist slapping.

And there’s Judge Elizabeth Coker.  She’s a doozy.

Coker

“The Commission investigated claims that Judge Coker allegedly engaged in other improper ex parte communications and meetings with Jones, other members of the Polk County District Attorney’s Office, the San Jacinto County District Attorney and certain defense attorneys regarding various cases pending in her court,” the agreement states.

“Judge Coker allegedly exhibited a bias in favor of certain attorneys and prejudice against others in both her judicial rulings and her court appointments; and Judge Coker allegedly met with jurors in an inappropriate manner, outside the presence of counsel, while the jurors were deliberating in one or more criminal trials.”

A bailiff in her courtroom filed an affidavit that she went into a jury room while they were deliberating and tried in influence their decision.

She has resigned and can never serve as a judge again.  Whoop-te-do.  She can still practice law, and draw full retirement and health care from the taxpayers of the state Texas, including those she screwed.  She needs to be in freekin’ jail.

That’s my problem with Republican judges.  The justice system is a game of gotcha to them.  They have ethics as loose as ashes in a windstorm.

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

The beauty salon will be without email starting Friday night until Monday morning.  With any luck at all, the kids in the basement will have all email issues resolved after this.  I’ve been with the same email company since 1994 so I hate to switch now.

So, I will occasionally check email at fortbendems at gmail dot com.  But, unless it’s an emergency, save it until Monday.

I will be appearing with Wendy Davis at the Brazos County Democratic Party Gala on Sunday night.  The tickets sold out a month ago.  It ought to be a load of fun!

Remember when I asked you to save a couple of dollars back from the Wendy donation because I had a special project coming up?

Well, here it is.

Glen Maxey, former State Representative and current Democratic National Committeeman, but most importantly my good friend, has a project I promised to help fund because I believe so strongly in it.

From Glen:

We have a lot of work to do assisting Democratic voters to avoid the roadblocks being thrown up to keep folks from voting.

You don’t go into war without state of the art weapons and you certainly don’t go into an election year without state of the art online voter tools.

We’re going to win this war against voters. That victory happens through hard work and commitment.

We need modern, state of the art online tools to assist voters and our volunteers get the on-the-ground work done to register voters and get their ballots cast.

So, I have some of the top programming wizards in Austin building us these online tools.  Some are donating their expertise to manage the projects.   But the actual programming costs the Democratic Party $65 an hour (and that’s a deep discount).

We’re building the back-end infrastructure for these tools to interact with the 13+ million voter record file.  Once that’s paid for, all the other tools will be a breeze.

We need $6,000 to complete this project.  That’s not a lot of money in politics.  Except for the programing, all the work is being done by volunteers.  I don’t want to tip off the Republicans to what we’re doing but I can assure you that it puts valuable, practical tools and information in the hands of grassroots workers and precinct chairs.  And it’s not just for this election cycle.  This sucker will be even more powerful in 2016 when Hillary runs.

Ole Glen and Me

I’m hoping to raise $1,000 of it here.  Big Bud Malone kicked in $50 and Ole Bubba kicked in $100 to get things started.

I promise not to pester you for money again until after next March.  Then I might start again if a very worthwhile project comes along.

Y’all, we have to turn Texas blue so we’re starting right here and right now.  Once Texas flips Democratic, there will never be another Republican in the White House in our lifetime.

Click here and be my favorite person today.

I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.  Hell, give $5 just to tell Glen that you’re on the team no matter where you live.  He’ll love ya for that.

Somebody just asked me where they could send a check.  Send it to:

Glen Maxey, c/o The Texas Democratic Party,
4818 East Ben White Blvd., Suite 104
Austin, TX 78741

Thank yew, Honey.