Merry Christmas
from the Joyful Proprietress of 

The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My son showed me this in the New York Times and I thought you might enjoy playing.  You answer a few questions and it tells you the three most likely cities where you were born.

It nailed me with Houston (where I was born), New Orleans (where my Daddy was born) and Little Rock (where my Momma’s father was born and raised).  It nailed my son and his wife both.

Give it a shot.

Texas State Senator Dan Patrick is becoming the Goofball Whisperer.

He’s running for Lt. Governor in the Terror Trifecta of incumbent David Dewhurst, Patrick, and the usual holder of the Holy Crap, What’s He Thinking? title, former land commissioner Jerry Patterson.

Patrick appeared on a west Texas radio show and expounded …

“Think about this, Chad. God has used Phil, of all people, a ‘Duck Dynasty’ show, to say clearly what He is thinking. I don’t agree with the way Phil said some things in the article, maybe God would not have used those words, but when he’s talking about God, and he’s talking about the principles of the Bible, that’s powerful.

So, answer me this.  If that was God talking, why does he use words he wouldn’t use?  You’re cruising for a headache on this one, Honey.  If I ever call you on the phone and I’m using words I normally don’t use and sound like somebody from Boston, it probably ain’t me.

You know, when Moses came down from the mountain, God’s words were inscribed in stone, not gibbered through some guy who thought slavery was pretty damn cool for African Americans.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Okay, we all know that President Obama is a Muslim.  Maybe secretly, maybe in the open.

But, here’s a new theory.

Congressidiot Trent Frank of Arizona wonders why Islamic extremists haven’t murdered Obama since that’s what they have vowed to do if someone turns from Islam to Christianity.  Well, there you go.  See, he’s not dead and that’s pretty good proof that he’s a Muslim.

But, the best is yet to come.

He went on to argue that Obama’s Christian faith is further proof that he’s a Muslim, explaining that he can still be a Muslim while he identifies as a Christian. Spencer added: “Whatever his personal beliefs are, certainly if he were a secret Muslim, he wouldn’t be acting any differently from how he is anyway.”

Well hell, that means all Christians are secret Muslims and you know that because they are … Christians?

My head hurts.

Tell me, how does one “act like a Muslim?”  Live like a Christian?

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.

Okay, I don’t wanna be picky but I got Rick Perry’s email Christmas card today and I think it’s a tad creepy.

I’m not saying he picked a rather odd Bible verse to celebrate the Prince of Peace’s birth.  Click the little one to get the big one.

I mean really?  You picked Jesus’s birthday to talk about battle and subduing people under you?  Really?

This ain’t a Christmas Card, Honey.  It’s a warning shot at Chris Christie.

Rick Perry — he ain’t just fartin’ around this time.  He’s declaring a holy war.

Now the FEC is all up in Steve Stockman’s face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, something about illegal contributions.  Like the law ever applied to Steve Bygawd Stockman in the first place.

I mean, hell, what’s the point of being in congress if you can’t take all the money people wanna give you?

It was a Christmas present, FEC, so there.  You don’t love little Baby Jesus?  You don’t believe in Christmas presents?

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.