Okay, here’s the deal.  A&E hires some religious right gun totin’ self-professed rednecks from the back bayous of Louisiana  and then acts shocked, shocked I tell you, when they say something religious right gun totin’ self-professed redneck.

Have you ever seen a person of color on that show?  No, you have not.  And how do women have a say in family matters?  By hoochy only.  And why does that one brother never appear on the show?  Uh, maybe he’s in the closet?

While the Dixie Chicks are not entitled to the First Amendment, rednecks are.  You gotta keep the rules right.

This is not a first amendment matter.  This is a free enterprise matter.

If this family thinks gays are going to hell and blacks were perfectly happy to be slaves, then they are going to be mighty lonely in the great hereafter.  Nobody is gonna wanna be around when Sweet Jesus gives them a talkin’-to.

By the way, today is Momma’s 88th birthday and we’re having a big ole party. Here she is last month meeting her new great-grandson Ben for the first time.  She’s pretty in pink, isn’t she?

She’s a fourth generation Texan and comes from a long line of strong women, all of who lived unhindered into their nineties.  Last month someone asked her if she had lived in Houston all her life.  “Not yet,” she replied.

Happy Birthday, Momma.

You need to meet Larry Kilgore.  Larry officially and legally changed his middle name to SECEDE so he could run for governor on the Republican ticket as Larry SECEDE Kilgore.

A plan so crazy it just might work.

I know you’re gonna think I’m making this stuff up but I am not.

Larry believes in the Bible.  His Bible says that homosexuals should be put to death.  But, there’s where the problems comes in –  he needs homosexual votes to win, so he’s willing to forgive them momentarily to get elected.  He explains it better than I can.

“I am a Christian, and I have lots of Christian beliefs. However, I am trying to build a coalition of all different types of people. I look at the lesbians and the homosexual folks and I say, ‘Hey, D.C. is stealing my money just like they’re stealing your money.’ After we get our freedom, then we can decide all that stuff — hopefully at a county level. Right now, lesbians and homosexuals and Christians may have differences with each other, but we’ve got a bigger enemy.”

Well hell yeah.  Better to let Larry kill you than to let Washington steal your money.  And I know homosexuals will feel so much better knowing they are being killed by county government rather than state government.  I mean, that right there is something worth fighting for.

But before you straight people get too cocky, Larry has some plans for you, too.

Asked what the punishment for homosexuality should be, Kilgore said, “According to the Bible, it should be execution, if anyone participates in that activity.” But he said the same for adulterers and women who have abortions.

I think he’s going for the group rate on executions.

I suspect your stomach is still turning at the thought of Steve Stockman’s campaign headquarters.  If so, ho boy, do I have a treat for you!

Maybe all Republican congressmen are pigs.  Maybe.  California congressman Dana Rohrabacher certainly qualifies.  He, apparently, was raised in a barn.

When Congressman Dana Tyrone Rohrabacher moved into a four-bedroom, four-bathroom, million-dollar Costa Mesa rental home on April Fool’s Day 2010, the immaculate, 6,300-square-foot property could have been featured in a glossy real-estate magazine.

But it’s now understandable why Orange County’s senior, career politician secretly changed the locks and refused to allow homeowner Robert Polyniak inside for annual inspections. When he moved out in August 2012, Rohrabacher left behind a shockingly horrific pigsty, a dump worse than a college fraternity house of unhygienic slobs unfamiliar with the most basic tools of cleaning.

Okay, okay, hold your nose.  Here’s a kitchen shot.

Oh, and there’s more.

And here’s the catch.  Rohrabacher is suing the landlord to get his $6,700 security deposit.

And that, my friends, is how Republicans live and think.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen, who keeps a spotless Blizzard machine, for the heads up.

Holy cow.  Just when you thought that Rick Perry couldn’t get any more shockingly blatant with love of hate, this happens.

Perry has appointed Nadine Berry to be Secretary of State in Texas.

Maybe she’s a very nice lady.  I dunno because it’s her husband who is always in the headlines.

Michael Berry is a piece of work.

He is a radio talk show host and a former Houston councilman.  He calls Houston Mayor Annise Parker “Annise Porker” because that’s just so damn funny.  He calls Democrats “libtards,” which is a total riot.  His humor development stopped at 6 years old.

To his credit, he did apologize for saying that the mosques near the 911 site would be blown up.  But, it was a not-sorry apology.

He is a complete and total drooling at the mouth homophobe.   Which is kinda funny since he was charged in a parking lot hit and run at a well-known Houston gay bar at 11:00 at night.  He says he just went there for a beer.  He lists his religion as a Southern Baptist so we suspect he was going for breaking all ten commandments at once on a Tuesday night.  You gotta give him credit – he came damn near close.

The icing on the cake is that he recently opened his own bar in my county — called The Redneck Country Club.  It features rednecks, beer and guns and calls itself Patriotic.  Instead of the Holy Trinity, Berry has the Patriotic Trinity:  Rednecks, beer and guns.

Now if you’re wondering why it’s upsetting to me for his for wife to be appointed Secretary of State, here’s why.

The Texas Secretary of State is in charge of elections.  Yes, Michael Berry’s wife is going to be the Katherine Harris of Texas.  What could I possibly have to worry about?

So you’re Liz Cheney and your husband still works Virginia and he’s not about move his real special patootie to godfersaken Wyoming. The solution? Register to vote in both states, of course.

Liz Cheney’s Senate campaign in Wyoming continues to be dogged with news about her family.

Politico reported Wednesday that Cheney’s husband was registered to vote in both Virginia and Wyoming despite signing a document in the latter state saying he was not registered elsewhere.

This is like being a little bit pregnant. Either you are or you’re not.

Does anyone else feel any sweet irony that her family make her famous in the first place and now they are going to take her down?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Okay, I have difficulty understanding any damn thing about Rick Santorum. Hell, I don’t even understand how he can leave the house dressed like that.

His position on health care made my toes crinkle. I read it twice and I still think I didn’t understand it and I gotta tell you that Miss Rita’s School of Cosmetology of Del Rio, Texas, has a very strong reading comprehension program so I’m no amateur at this.

I think he might be saying that the government wants universal health care so they can kill off the people who vote against them. Maybe he’s saying that.

It’s actually a pretty clever system. Take care of the people who can vote and people who can’t vote, get rid of them as quickly as possible by not giving them care so they can’t vote against you. That’s how it works.”

That’s what he’s saying, right?

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.