Dan Patrick is Going For the Craziest Sumbitch in Texas Award

December 24, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Texas State Senator Dan Patrick is becoming the Goofball Whisperer.

DanPatrick041210He’s running for Lt. Governor in the Terror Trifecta of incumbent David Dewhurst, Patrick, and the usual holder of the Holy Crap, What’s He Thinking? title, former land commissioner Jerry Patterson.

Patrick appeared on a west Texas radio show and expounded …

“Think about this, Chad. God has used Phil, of all people, a ‘Duck Dynasty’ show, to say clearly what He is thinking. I don’t agree with the way Phil said some things in the article, maybe God would not have used those words, but when he’s talking about God, and he’s talking about the principles of the Bible, that’s powerful.

So, answer me this.  If that was God talking, why does he use words he wouldn’t use?  You’re cruising for a headache on this one, Honey.  If I ever call you on the phone and I’m using words I normally don’t use and sound like somebody from Boston, it probably ain’t me.

You know, when Moses came down from the mountain, God’s words were inscribed in stone, not gibbered through some guy who thought slavery was pretty damn cool for African Americans.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

 

Be social and share!

0 Comments to “Dan Patrick is Going For the Craziest Sumbitch in Texas Award”


  1. So what’s all that stuff about rich guys, camels and eye of a needle. And from an historical perspective, God didn’t choose millionaires (check the money Robertson is pulling in from that waste of time show) to spread His Word. Funny how the rwnj’s use selective quotes from the Old Testament to justify their hate. It’s as if the New T. doesn’t exist. Like Christ never happened.

    1
  2. JAKvirginia says:

    What is with these people? When it’s hateful, bigoted speech they agree with then it’s God talking? I just do not know anymore.

    Y’all have a very merry Christmas.

    2
  3. Pop quiz: if Satan is as sneaky as reputed, why wouldn’t Satan pretend to be God when urging people to perform evil deeds? Wouldn’t someone claiming to be God, yet using words that God wouldn’t typically use, spark a suspicion that the message was from somebody else?

    Wouldn’t Satan use identity theft to lead people into sin? My suspicion is that Satan invented identity theft.

    3
  4. Marge Wood says:

    He might also consider that it mighta been the voice of the Unholy Spirit as opposed to the Holy Spirit. We’re supposed to test the spirits, check them out. Use good sense. Get the facts. Oh. Facts. That. I don’t recall God ever saying to turn off your brain. And if you call my house and tell me you’re Juanita Jean but you have a deep hairy voice I will hang up.

    4
  5. Ralph Wiggam says:

    If God wants me to hear him, I’m sure he can find a better way to get word to me than the TV set. Mine is turned off most of the time, so it is not a very reliable way to get in touch. And I don’t have cable, just the local gods.

    5
  6. Patrick’s worldview is not just indigestible but freakin’ bleak! Using — and that is exactly the right word — God is the first and last resort of the unimaginative and if you look at it another way, the unbelieving. I’m basing that last description on the language they use: hate, anger, and the whole ball of nasty wax. For them, a boxcarful of coal in their stockings!

    6
  7. The “principles of the Bible” have a lot more to do with being against poverty than being against gay sex. Off how when people speak out against poverty Patrick not only doesn’t hear God, he hears nothing at all.

    7
  8. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Do any of these politicians hearing voices in their heads ever consider a pharmaceutical solution? With the correct prescription, “compassionate conservative” might not be an oxymoron.

    New career for Sarah Palin as a test dummy for Pfizer developing a pill to combat mean and crazy.

    8
  9. The austerian government in the UK is doing the same thing–the prime minister now says that people in his proposed “big society” are doing Jesus’s work. Of course he’s also said that although he’s more or less Anglican, he only sort of believes sometimes and is sort of a Christian. (Still, his quote is from the New Testament, though from Acts, not the Gospels. Amazing how the right wing sheers away from using the Gospels….)

    9
  10. Does Dan Patrick have the power to declare that Phil Robertson is a prophet? There have not been any new prophets (in the sense of the Torah/Old Testament) for a couple thousand years. Maybe it is time to add a new book to the scriptures to document the works of Phil Robertson and/or Dan Patrick. If a new book is added, what should its title be? One of my suggestions was the “Book of Phil” but my youngest child may have the best suggestion with the book of “The Lamentations of the Duck.”

    10
  11. Couldn’t stand this guy when he was an obnoxious sportscaster for Houston’s channel 11 about thirty years ago. Nothing has occurred since to alter my opinion.

    11
  12. e platypus onion says:

    Kyle,I hate to be a stick in the mud but you mis-spelled profit.

    12
  13. Corinne Sabo says:

    Dude has a comprehension problem. Or maybe a different God than we have.

    13
  14. I sometimes feel as if we are living our lives in a Biblical play that is produced and acted in by the dumbest, slimiest people Satan can find. This is one of those times.

    14
  15. Larry Carrolla says:

    Proud to say in Oklahoma we don’t have mental cases
    as elected officials ….

    Hard to say that without laughing isn’t it Mr Imhoff?

    15
  16. Burnt Orange Report has a post up today that includes a screenshot of Dan Patrick’s Facebook post supporting Phil Robertson which states that “God is speaking to us from the most unlikely voice.”

    BOR: Texas Republicans Who “Stand With Phil Robertson” The Duck Dynasty Patriarch
    http://www.burntorangereport.com/diary/14564/texas-republicans-who-stand-with-phil-robertson-the-duck-dynasty-patriarch

    16
  17. “Craziest Sumbitch in Texas Award”?

    JJ, I’m sorry, but there is WAAAY too much competition for that one. I chew my keyboard on a regular basis reading your posts about all the competition. And those are just the ones who are elected or trying to be.

    17
  18. Fred Farklestone says:

    Did Dan Patrick have ‘Chiclet’s Gum’ make those teeth of his?

    18
  19. Ok, so first off, any God who would use some over-bearded jackass from a presumably completely low brow reality tv show to get his or her message out, is just lame.
    Second..this Texas politico is creepy..but I repeat myself..and
    Thirdly..well there must be some connection between being a former local sportscaster and turning into a bible-thumping ignoramus candidate for statewide political office..go ahead and make that for yourselves..
    Ain’t nobody got time for that…

    19
  20. e platypus onion says:

    Mtnwaters you just described the “Tundra Tart” from Wasilly,Alaska.

    20
  21. e platypus onion says:

    If god does exist,at least in Texas,what are the odds that armadillo roadkills are re-incarnated wingnut Texas pols? Useless in life,at least in death they can make others,including vultures,grin.

    21