Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

I Have a Headache

July 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Priest.  Soccer.  Homosexual.  Seriously.

A Russian Orthodox Priest has claimed that the World Cup is an abomination because players wear brightly-coloured shoes.

Writing in his column on Russian People’s Line, Priest Alexander Shumsky claimed that players are promoting a “gay rainbow” by wearing green, pink, yellow and blue shoes.

He said: “Wearing pink or blue shoes, [the players] might as well wear women’s panties or a bra.

“The liberal ideology of globalism clearly wants to oppose Christianity with football. I’m sure of it.

Me, too. Totally sure of it.

lala-teletubbies-240747Quit snickering.  I’m happy to know that our Super DeLux Brand Christians have some decent Russian competition.

Wasn’t it Pat Robertson who thought the Teletubbies were gay?

The priest also criticized the “unthinkable” hairstyles of some of the players in the tournament.

Well, at least the Teletubbies don’t have that problem.

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.

Matthew 25

July 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ya know, you do not have to be a preacher man or a nun to know that we’re supposed to take care of each other.

Man’s first question to God was, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”  God answered yes.

Catholic Charities is bringing 1,000 refugees from Central America to Dallas.  A friend of mine in Dallas who is, of course, a Democrat, saw a need and jumped to fill it.

We are a grassroots group gathering supplies for donation to the child refugees. The items for donation will be given to Catholic Charities for distribution. “Across the country, Catholic Charities agencies are doing their best to respond to this developing humanitarian crisis. These children, many of them elementary-sch​ool aged or younger, are exhausted and alone, in desperate need of food, shelter, and most especially, a caring embrace. No matter what their legal status, leaving a seven-year-old in the desert to fend for herself would be inhumane. As beneficiaries of this great land of opportunity, we cannot turn our back on these children in their hour of greatest need.” ~~ via Catholic Charities

If you are on Facebook, they are here.  If you aren’t, you can purchase items from Amazon for as little as $3. and up $30 that will be sent directly to my friend by clicking here.  The best part is that you can act like a Christian without being one.

Do it.  You’ll feel good about it.

matthew-25-give-hungry

One other thing, my friend Sarah Slamen will be on The Ed Show today at 4:20 Texas time talking about Rick Perry’s conspiracy theory involving Barack Obama and immigration.  Check it out.

 

And A Quick Trip to Crazyville at Fox Nation

July 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so there’s this goofy lookin’ guy who went on Fox News. You gotta believe what he says because Steve Doocy proclaimed that his “sources are impeccable.”

Screen Shot 2014-07-07 at 10.43.01 AMHis name is Ed Klein and he writes books.  True books with impeccable sources.  Doocy says so.

Here’s some of his claims at his latest visit to Fox.

— the Obamas had separate bedrooms on Martha’s vineyard, that the president smoked in bed, and that he ate Murdick’s Fudge in bed.

— Bill Clinton smiled when he was diagnosed with a “progressive” heart condition because the term sounded liberal.

— that Hillary Clinton was a lesbian, and she was raped by then-Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton when they conceived their daughter Chelsea.

— that if he died of a heart condition, Bill told Hillary ‘Hillary, you should put on widow’s weeds, dress in black, and it would be worth a couple of million votes.’

And that last one has to be true because Elisabeth Hasselbeck says that sounds like Bill Clinton.

Okay, slap yourself back into reality.

Thanks to Marge for the head up.

And While We’re Suing Everybody Anyway

July 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Even people from foreign states know by now that Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott is the absolute worst lawyer ever.  I think they’ve repossessed his briefcase and hid his map to the courthouse.

But, by gawd, he’s gonna sue again.

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott says he may sue the federal government over the costs incurred from housing thousands of undocumented children detained on the U.S.-Mexico border.

“If the federal government is unwilling to secure the border, the State of Texas will be forced to resort to litigation to recoup the costs incurred to respond to this crisis.”

perryabbottOkay, so if we were to herd together all the taxpayer money Abbott has spent paying Texas lawyers to prepare lawsuits,  all the taxpayer money he has lost in those lawsuits, and add that to all the money Texas taxpayers have spent for Rick Perry’s security and state detail while he’s running for President, we could build a freekin’ condo for those kids.

But, hell, let’s sue the government so that taxpayers can foot the bill for writ twits on both sides of the case.

What the hell is this with government suing government?  The lawyer full employment bill?

Arrrggghhhhh

July 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Every single time John Boehner opens his mouth, I do not hear a human voice.  Instead, I hear the sound of a spoon being pounded against a high chair tray.

boehnerHe is a child having a hissy for to be fed … with attention.  So he’s suing the President.  Of all the asinine things to do.  We’ve got a a million problems but Boehner wants to take depositions.

Boehner writes

But too often over the past five years, the President has circumvented the American people and their elected representatives through executive action, changing and creating his own laws, and excusing himself from enforcing statutes he is sworn to uphold — at times even boasting about his willingness to do it, as if daring the American people to stop him.

Uh, maybe I’m delusional but it seems to me that Republicans dared the American people to stop President Obama in November of 2012 and we replied, “Hey, kiss our big blue butts.”

Okay, so I went searching for some numbers.  In 2012, even without an opponent, 239,221 citizens of Ohio voted for Boehner.

In 2012, Barak Obama got 65,899,660 votes.

But, Boehner claims that he speaks for “the American people.”  All 239,221 of them.

So, here’s what I’m saying.  Barack Obama is not daring the American people to stop him.  He’s daring the gerrymander Republican congress to stop the American people.

Hey, Boehner, you’re a son of a motherless goat.  So sue me, too, Cheetos.

Yeah, But He Was Drunk

July 06, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You wanna know the best thing that happened all year?

Steve Stockman is leaving congress.  Hell, if he’d leave Texas, I’ll buy the damn ticket.

Get a load of this crapola.

Screen Shot 2014-07-06 at 3.24.50 PM

 

Yeah, because liberals love to go backwards.

Here’s his reasoning ….

“Civilization is a society in which the rights of the individual trump the whims of the majority,” Stockman added. “This ruling is a reminder liberals seek to drag us back to Stone Age tribalism in which one can be subjugated to the tribe as a whole.”

Okay, see that there doesn’t make sense.  And there’s a reason it doesn’t:  Steve Stockman thought it up.

Yep, birth control is nothing more than a feminine whim.

Hey Stockman, how about being subjugated to the Super DeLux Brand Christian Tribe?

Y’all, he’s drunk most of the time.  I don’t know that for a fact but it’s what I just gotta believe.  I mean, nobody that crazy would be allowed to carry a gun, right?

Thanks to Barbara for the heads up.