Greg Abbott needs a woman to to endorse his candidacy.  He picked Carly Fiorina.  Yep, the same Carly Fiorina who thought Sarah Palin was prancing in high cotton and perfectly qualified to be president.

Yeah, we’re gonna trust her character judgement.  Abbott and Palin, those would be my first two choice to lead the political world.

Fiorina hasn’t been heard from much since Barbara Boxer beat her by 10 freekin’ points for Senate.  This may have been the deciding factor —

Boxer has taken to comparing her years of “public service” to Fiorina’s choice “to become a CEO, lay off 30,000 workers, ship jobs overseas (and) have two yachts.”

Fiorina defended having two yachts by saying she lives on both coasts so what’s a girl gonna do?  Be totally yachtless half the time?  Seriously, her campaign said that.  After laying off 30,000 workers.

Maybe she should get five yachts – one for each Great Lake!

Nice choice, Greg.  Maybe she’ll loan you one of those yachts to campaign on.  Oh wait, neither of her yachts in on the Texas coast.

This is not funny.

Bill Hobby is the former Lt. Governor of Texas.  He’s 82 years old and has learned a thing or two in this life.

He’s talking about the so-called ebola crisis in Texas – another suspected case in Texas – but has a different take on it than Rick Perry does.

Ebola in Texas. It’s scary that the almost-always-fatal virus is here in our state. But your chances of getting run over by a city bus are far greater than coming down with Ebola. Local, state and federal resources have been mobilized to stop this menace.

It makes me wonder why we can’t respond as well to the state’s longer-term crises — in health care and education.

It’s a real emergency that 22 percent of all Texans — about 5.7 million people — lack health insurance. People without insurance may not get vaccinated for the flu or other communicable diseases, receive pre-natal care, or seek early treatment for chronic diseases like diabetes and cancer. Why haven’t we mobilized resources to deal with this emergency, particularly when the federal government offers to shoulder most of the cost?

Amen, Bill, amen.

Read it all right here.

Mike Huckabee, the former Governor of Arkansas and Head of a mess of Steeple People, has decided that the Supreme Court ain’t all that Supreme when they disagree with him.

He’s advising us to just ignore them.

In an interview with Iowa-based conservative talk show host Steve Deace on Monday, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee repeated his recommendation that governors simply ignore the Supreme Court’s decision to let stand lower court rulings legalizing marriage equality in several new states, adding that state governments should have also ignored Roe v. Wade and the Supreme Court rulings banning school-sponsored prayer.

He then reminds us that the Supreme Court “isn’t God.”  But Huckabee is.

He announces, “this is really about in the end using the coercive force of government to get you to abandon your own moral conscience.”  No, no it isn’t.  If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get one.  I don’t like those little fish things on the back of cars, so I don’t get one.  I don’t like praying on street corners so I don’t do that either.  Mike, all you have to do is not marry a man.  Is that so difficult?  Oh, wait.  Is the temptation too great, Mike?

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.

Okay, so a 21 year old guy in Oregon bought himself a fancy new gun and just couldn’t wait to show it off.  So, he’s downtown at 2:10 am doing the open carry thing.  Probably prancing.  Well, I don’t know that for a fact, but that’s what open carry people seem to do.

He started talking to his cousin when he’s approached by a man who asked for a cigarette.

Talk eventually turned to the victim’s new purchase, before the robber pulled his own gun from his waistband and said, “I like your gun, give it to me,” according to police.

The victim handed over his gun and the suspect ran away.

Okay, which one do you figure was the good guy?  I know for a fact which one was the stoopid guy.

I know crime is not funny.  I know that.  You don’t need to tell me that.  But, y’all, this is Olympic quality funny.

Thanks to Sandy and Carl for the heads up.

Thans to John Kwitowski for the oh so cool graphic!

This morning I wondered at my keyboard —

What the hell is the punishment for buying a tasty alcoholic beverage at 2:01 am in Fayetteville, North Carolina? If they need military grade weapons to enforce it, remind me not to bar hop in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

I’d like to change that.  Remind me never to go to Fayetteville, North Carolina.

Today is President Jimmy Carter’s 90th birthday.  He’s spending it building houses.

However, preachers in Fayetteville, North Carolina, are celebrating by using weapons grade gospel to say that Jimmy Carter is going to hell for saying that Jesus is some sort of “hippy gay Jesus.”

While speaking to students at Grand Rapids Community College last month, Carter had responded to a question about LGBT rights.

“I never knew of any word or action of Jesus Christ that discriminated against anyone,” the former president said, adding that discrimination based on sexual orientation was like prejudice against a person for their skin color or financial status.

But, that’s not right.

In an online “sermon” for the Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina, Senior Pastor Sean Harris and Student Pastor David McManus expressed outrage at Carter’s remark.

“We’ll embrace the hippy, you know, Jesus loves everybody kind of picture of Christ, and ignore the fact that, you know, he was very exclusive in who he dealt with, and who was in the Kingdom,” McManus opined.

“We pray that Carter is converted, and that he doesn’t go to hell,” he concluded. “The reality is, we all go to heaven or hell. And when you have so disregarded so much of the Bible, you wonder. I mean, you just wonder. You don’t have a warm fuzzy that the man is born again.”

Phew!  I bet Jimmy Carter is relieved that Baptist preachers are th eons deciding who is going to heaven.

I know I am, too.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.