Notice anything missing at the Huff Post this morning?

This is a true story.  I was a reporter assigned to cover a Rosenberg City Council meeting because I was in trouble again.  You cannot imagine the amount of trouble I got into as a reporter … well, maybe you can … and was sent to cover city council meetings as punishment.

So, the council was deciding on buying some new equipment for the fire department.  The fire chief had prepared a need list and a want list.  The things on the need list were the things he absolutely needed to put out fires and protect his fire fighters.  The want list was to include things he wanted but didn’t absolutely need.  You could, after all, push a fire truck to a fire if it was so old that the motor wouldn’t start.

On the need list was a 60 foot ladder extension for a new firetruck.  One of the councilmen asked why the city needed a ladder for a six story building when the tallest building in town is three stories?

The chief honestly and sincerely replied, “Because you never know.”

Think about that one.  When he was met with quizzical looks, he dug deeper, “You don’t.  You just never know.”

Well, except sometimes you do.

For example, I know for a dead certain fact that the coroner of Sharp County, Arkansas, is highly unlikely to ever get guff from his customers, discounting, of course, a major zombie attack.

Doug Wortham used a Defense Department giveaway program for law enforcement to stock his office with an assault rifle, a handgun and a Humvee – even though the people in his custody are in no condition to put up a fight.

They’re dead.

Wortham is the Sharp County, Arkansas, coroner. He says the Humvee helps him navigate the rugged terrain of the Ozarks foothills, but he struggled to explain why he needs the surplus military weapons he acquired more than two years ago.

“I just wanted to protect myself,” he said.

How about a Jeep and a surgical face mask?  I’m tellin’ ya, he should have mentioned the zombie thing.

But that’s just the beginning.

Military-grade weapons have gone to government agencies that enforce gaming laws at Kansas tribal casinos and weigh 18-wheelers in Mississippi, to the Wyoming Livestock Board and the Cumberland County Alcoholic Beverage Control Board in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Other military surplus items have been bestowed on an animal control department in Cullman County, Alabama; a harbormaster in Dartmouth, Massachusetts; and the California Assembly’s Sergeant-at-Arms.

What the hell is the punishment for buying a tasty alcoholic beverage at 2:01 am in Fayetteville, North Carolina?  If they need military grade weapons to enforce it, remind me not to bar hop in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

They have unruly tribal casinos in Kansas?

Okay, I totally get the California Assembly’s Sergeant-at-Arms, because you never know.

Y’all, can’t we get the defense contractors to start making something useful to give away?  You know, like schools or big ladders?

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

I will bet you $50. cash American money that Rick Perry has found a way to make money off ebola.

Texas Governor Rick Perry today announced he’s mobilizing a special task force to respond to Ebola and other infectious diseases. Dr. Brett Giroir of Texas A&M Health Science Center will oversee the 17 person task force which includes state officials from environmental, health, and public safety agencies.

Gov. Perry also called for the federal government to step up its screening of travelers coming from West Africa. He suggested using temperature monitors at airports and creating quarantine centers at ports of entry in the U.S.

Rick Perry doesn’t do diddle squat until he figures out a way for his friends to make money off it.  I hope it fares better that the cancer research funds that he and Greg Abbott oversaw.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  The only state with the risk of actually spreading ebola is Texas.  Look at it this way:  Texas 1, Mexico 0.  So, I think Mexico needs to be worried, not us.  Is the rest of the world going to quarantine us?  Hell, I would not blame them one bit.  We’re got some infectious contagious idiot in this damn state.

Thanks to Web for the heads up.

I am charmed, delighted, thrilled, and pretty damn joyful that marriage equality is now truly equal in 30 states and the District of Colombia.

Can we party now?  Yes, for a little while.

Twitter World —

Best tweet —

Love Happy Monday News.

Rory Alec, who founded the modestly named GOD TV along with his wife Wendy, has taken a tumble.

Another leader in the body of Christ has admitted to a “moral failure” concerning his marriage. Rory Alec has resigned as chairman and CEO of the network he co-founded with his wife, Wendy.

This would be just another rotten apple in a profession known for harboring rotten apples, except for the fact that this guy has teevee stations all over the world and is viciously hateful.

Amusingly enough, the Wendy part of this charade once prayed that God rid President Obama of Jezebels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvbOokLTcvc

I dunno about you, but those fingernails scare the crap outta me.

It’s nice to know that redneckery is keeping an eye on America in these troubling times.

Over in Hurley, Mississippi, police found a woman taking things from cars that were parked in a high school parking lot.  At first glance, it appeared that she was stealing sunglasses and other things of value.

Not true.

No, sireee.

Jackson County authorities say a 41-year-old Hurley woman who was caught stealing from East Central High School students’ vehicles claimed she was looking for members of the terrorist group ISIS.

Lisa Carol Roche is charged with commercial burglary of an automobile after authorities say she was caught stealing sunglasses and other personal items from vehicles.

She told authorities she was looking for members of the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria, the terrorist group that has made international headlines.

This is not her first time to be arrested.  It is, however, the first time she was on a mission of international intrigue.  It is my belief that she should get extra points for that and a position with the Rick Perry for President campaign.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.