Collin Allred is a former NFL football player, then lawyer, now Congressman in Dallas.  He whipped up on Pistol Pete Session in 2018 and Honey, I was so excited about it that I danced naked on the back porch.

Colin Allred

Now Republicans are looking for somebody to beat him.

It ain’t gonna be easy because he’s already raised over half a million dollars and is wildly popular in the district. But guess who is already announcing they are considering running?  Allen West. You remember Allen West, the crazy dude in Florida who won a congressional seat one time and then promptly lost every other time he ran so he moved to Texas for a Texas-sized butt whipping.

Allen West famous stuff:

“I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party who are members of the Communist Party.”

— Responding to a question at a Jensen Beach town hall meeting, April 2012.

I think he’s really low-balling that one.

“I am not sitting up here and condemning people who call themselves Muslims. Now is the time we have to challenge this ideology. If we are to peacefully coexist they have to come into the 21st century and push aside a lot of these 7th century ideas they still hold.”

— Describing his views on Islam, September 2011.

It’s very obvious that he doesn’t listen to the first part of his sentence before he gets to the end of it.

So, if you sign up now, I can probably ge you a front row seat to this butt-kicking.  And since I gave you a picture of Collin Allred, here’s a picture of Allen West taken to celebrate his election to the Board of Director of the NRA. (Seriously.)

Honey, that’s a little overkill even for Texas.

Here’s a start —

During former President Correa’s government and while Patiño was chancellor, “they tolerated things like Assange putting feces on the embassy walls and other behaviors far from the minimum respect that a guest can have,” said Romo.

Well, there ya go —res ipsa loquitur.

Goodness gracious, is the toilet paper that scratchy in Ecuador?

Bluebonnets are a thing in Texas.  Every Easter people dress their kiddos in their Easter clothes and pose them in a field of bluebonnets. It’s mandatory.

This year, police from across Texas did poses because … who the hell knows?

Some of them are very funny.

Some are clever.

And some are very … uh, disturbing.

They are all right here.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

All across this country, state legislatures are trying to enact bills that make abortion punishable by the death penalty.

It finally hit Texas.  We were all anxious to hear (and a few of us really weird people even had bets riding on it) which State Representative would be the one to introduce it.

And the winner is …. Tony Tinderholt, a Republican from Arlington.

Tony is kinda crazy.  He’s been married 5 times, but he opposes marriage equality because Jesus.  His goal with this legislation is to make women “more personally responsible.”  Yeah, did I mention that his first wife had a restraining order against him?  I guess he was just pounding responsibility into her head

When asked why the bill makes no exception for rape or incest, Tinderholt said he’s “a firm believer that God creates children in his own image, regardless of how that child is brought into the world, it’s created in his image, and how can someone want to destroy that?”

There’s responsibility and there’s none of your business.

Thanks to megasoid for the heads up.

Attorney General William Barr has announced that  he “has assembled a team to review controversial counterintelligence decisions made by Justice Department and FBI officials, including actions taken during the probe of the Trump campaign in the summer of 2016.”

In short, he’s going to conduct his own Nunes hearings.

So, here’s the best I can figure. The Mueller report must be much worse than Barr lets on.  Now he’s going to use the excuse that he redacted so much because the report was prejudiced against Trump from the start.

There must be some dynamite in the report and I can’t even imagine what’s in Trump’s tax returns.

On the very day that we get the the first picture of  a lack hole, we are reminded that education ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

A baseball field in Connecticut is in shambles after 25 gallons of gas were dumped on a wet infield and set on fire in order to dry it out.

The hope to dry out the infield before a Saturday Ridgefield High School baseball game resulted in flames shooting 15 feet into the air and an estimated $50,000 worth of damage.

It appears that about 15 to 20 parents took turns dumping the 25 gallons of gas on the field while more than a 100 people stood around and watched.

Plus there was a crowd of about 100 parents watching, with their children.

So now the entire infield has to be dug out and taken to a toxic waste dump, or in the alternative, served for dinner to whatever genius thought up this plan.

There were at least 100  people there and not one single one of them thought, “Hey, let’s look up gasoline, fire, dry infield on google and see how it’s done.”

Next time, they should bring extension cords and hair dryers.

We let these people vote, y’all.

Thanks to EJ for the heads up.