Okay, so this is a little complicated but it certainly will spark your prurient interests.

There’s a Republican congressional seat in Arizona that is consistently red.  Personally, I think it’s red because they are embarrassed.  The former congressvarmint in the seat was Trent Franks, who had to resign because he’s kinky as a 100 foot garden hose.

So, they have to hold a special election skidding on the mess Franks left behind.

There’s two top people vying for the GOP nomination and the one who’s leading (and got endorsed by Ted Cruz!) with just a week to go before election day has a small problem.  Steamy and topless text messages with his legislative aide. And then he’s dumb enough to say he “did not have any inappropriate relationships with this woman.”  Holy Bill Clinton Cow.  All he changed was “that woman” to “this woman.” That phrase has not generally been associated with truth.

So, this guy is leading in the polling and about 75% of voters have already voted by mail. He’s hoping to lay low until election night and still be the GOP nominee.  So, on election night, check out Steve Montenegro in Arizona and see if he’s doing the dirty with Ted Cruz.

Now here’s the other fun part.  The candidate who is second in the polling is Debbie Lesko.  Trump’s campaign manager in Arizona has just accused her of a money laundering scheme with her campaign funds.

Yes, there is a Democratic nominee.  The district voted for Trump with a 21 point margin.  But hell, Trump won Alabama by 27 points and that didn’t help Roy Moore one little bit.

You know, this morning Thelma said that the Republicans may have the Russians working for them, but we have the Sex and Money Devil working for us.

That’s something to think about.

We have a foreign correspondent in Missouri who might at this very moment have the most entertaining Republicans anywhere.  Or, as I say, Missouri: Too small to be a country, too big to be an insane asylum.

Deb T. takes it from there —

Missouri’s Governor, Eric Greitens is charged  with (not convicted of), a Class D Felony (Missouri law prohibits anyone convicted of a felony from holding office.)

Golden Boy Greitens, the darling of the GOP, recipient of tons of money from the Koch Brothers and multi-millionaire Rex Sinquefield, is a guy whose entire campaign was predicated on “family values” is being indicted a little over a year after he took office because of an extra-marital affair that involved blackmail and bondage.

This probably leaves Missourians and quite possibly Governor Golden Boy himself wondering what happens next. As with many things, impeachment in Missouri is structured unlike almost every other state, we’re weird that way.

Like the federal government and most states, the process starts in the House of Representatives, specifically in the House Judiciary Committee where they decide if articles of impeachment are warranted given the offenses that the governor allegedly committed.

According to Article 7 (Section 1), of the Missouri Constitution, executive officials in Missouri are “liable to impeachment for crimes, misconduct, & habitual drunkenness, willful neglect of duty, and corruption in office, incompetency, or any offense involving moral turpitude or oppression in office.”

If the Legislature pursues Impeachment against Greitens it would likely come via Missouri State Statute 565.252.

Today the Republican controlled House formed a committee to investigate the charges against Greitens and 12 Republican House members signed a formal petition calling for him to resign.

If the House Judiciary Committee determines that Greitens committed a serious offense, which met that criteria then it can send the Articles of Impeachment to the House for a vote.

FWIW, the House leadership in Missouri appears to be signaling that they are leaning in that direction. Let’s put it this way, Golden Boy hasn’t won any friends during his first year in office.

Just how do Missouri’s Legislators regard Greitens?  Here’s a sampling.

Perhaps Greitens would have benefited from reading, “How to win friends and influence people”? On second thought there probably isn’t a chapter on duct taping women to rings in your basement while blindfolded, nor do I suspect that Emily Post ever discussed taking pictures, consensual or otherwise, during said activities.

If the Missouri House passes these Articles of Impeachment, the matter goes to  trial and that’s where Missouri’s contrariness asserts itself. Unlike the federal government and 47 other states, rather than send this to the Missouri Senate for the trial, Section 2 of Article 7 of the Missouri Constitution, requires, “All impeachments shall be tried before the Supreme Court, except that the governor or a member of the Supreme Court.”

Therefore, the governor will face a “special commission of seven eminent jurists to be elected by the senate” holding his trial, 5 of the 7 of whom must vote for impeachment in order to remove the Governor. It would only be at that time that the Governor could be removed from office

If that happens Lt. Governor Mike Parson, of Bolivar, Mo., would then assume the role of Missouri Governor.

There have been 10 impeachment cases in Missouri since 1825. Former Secretary of State Judith Moriarty is the only Missouri official who has ever been successfully impeached and removed from office. She was impeached back in 1994 following accusations that she had backdated election forms filed by her son to make it appear that he didn’t miss the filing deadline.

Update: he is doubling down and blaming Soros.

My favorite Greitens story so far (NOT THE ONION, this is for reals!) —

Former stripper convicted of filming sex partners seeks pardon from Gov. Greitens

A former law student and male stripper convicted nearly 20 years ago of invasion of privacy for secretly filming sex partners is asking Missouri Gov. Eric Greitens for a pardon.

Greitens was indicted last week under the same criminal statute for allegedly taking a compromising photograph of a woman with whom he was having an affair.

Greitens lawyers’ motion to have the charge dismissed uses the same legal rationale as the request for the pardon, according to attorney Albert Watkins, who sent the pardon request on behalf of his client to one of Greitens’ lawyers.

It would be “mighty hypocritical” of the governor not to grant the pardon given the basis for the request appears identical to the motion to dismiss Greitens’ pending felony charge, Watkins said in a press release Sunday.

A Republican? Hypocritical? About sex?  Nooooooo ….

It’s the news.

President Donald Trump said Monday that he would have charged into a Florida school during the shooting there earlier this month even if he were unarmed.

“I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon, but I didn’t because I have heel spurs.”

Okay, so I made up the second half of the sentence but you know it’s true.

Shuddup, Trump or go even one day with a bodyguard.

This morning, The Supremes rejected hearing DACA, gut punching Trump and giving us a temporary reprieve from having Dreamers deported.

That’s pretty good for one day.

Then just now, a federal court ruled that LCBTQ people are actually people.  The 2nd Circuit ruled that you can’t fire someone for being gay, something that both Jeff Sessions and Donald Trump think is a good idea.

The court, however, said that Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act says that you can’t discriminate due to sex.  Period. The End. Please quit fantasizing, Jeff Sessions.

Not bad for one day.

Just because you have a gun don’t make you Annie Oakley.

Okay, so last Saturday night some poor guy was being carjacked in North Houston.

Along comes a citizen hero gun toting fool who is gonna save the day and show how important concealed-carry is to stopping crime, by gawd. He’s gonna save the day by shooting these carjackers.

He promptly shoots the victim in the head.  The two carjackers take off in the car leaving the victim on the ground bleeding.  And the shooter, you ask?  He picked up his shell casings and fled the scene. Fled the damn scene.

The victim is in stable condition in a local hospital.

I live in the OK Corral, y’all.

Okay, so here’s the deal: 23 politicians vow to return the political donations they received from Earl Holt, leader of the Council of Conservative Citizens  (Holt couldn’t find three words that started with K so he settled for a hard C.), by giving that money to charity.

It was Holt who inspired Charleston church shooter Dylann Roof.

So the politicians who took the money from Holt set about giving that money to a charitable cause.  Two of them, although they promised to return the money, have not done so.

Yeah.  Two.

It will come as no horrific shock to you that Ted Cruz and Louie Gohmert and their orthopedic promises have not given the money to charity as promised.

Let me make this high finance stuff simple:  Gohmert took $1,250 from a known white supremacist and then when that very same white supremacist inspired a mass shooting in a church, Gohmert asked his friends to pray for the victims because this was awful, awful, awful, and he promised to give twice that amount to the Charleston church.

He has given zero. Not even one piece of folding money. Hell, not even pocket change.  Do you want to know why?  Because he’s a lying sumbitch, that’s why.

Ted Cruz said he would donate the $11,000 he got from a known white supremacist.to the Charleston church.  He did … almost …

Fellow Texas Republican Ted Cruz also felt short of his pledge to Charleston victims, donating just $8,700 of the $11,000 he promised. Cruz returned the remaining $2,300 to Holt. […]

He gave money back to the white supremacist so he could continue his good work of inspiring mass murder.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.