Honest to God, this is a real headline.

It’s North Carolina so of course they are on edge.  Where are the clowns going to go to the bathroom?

As you know, clowns are genderless so how will we know which bathroom they are can use? It’s North Damn Carolina – genitals are our major concern.  Of course they are on edge.

The semi-almost-serious story is that several clowns have been spotted trying to lure children into the woods.

Police say a person dressed as a clown disappeared into the woods after being chased by a man wielding a machete on Tuesday — the third incident involving a clown in as many days in the Greensboro, North Carolina area.

A machete?  Honey, I’ve been to three state fairs, two rodeos and goat stampede, but I have never in my life seen a man chase a clown with a machete.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.

First, the Houston Chronicle endorses Hillary, now the Dallas Morning News, who has endorsed every Republican presidential candidate for 48 years has gone heavy duty down and guaranteed righteous.

“We have no interest in a Republican nominee for whom all principles are negotiable, nor in a Republican Party that is willing to trade away principle for pursuit of electoral victory.”

~ Editor, The Dallas Morning News, September 6, 2016

You go Urban Texas, you go proud!

Y’all, Greta Van Susteren is leaving Fox News.

What are we going to do if OJ kills somebody else? Who will explain it to us? She said that is was about contract options, but …

However, a source told New York Magazine’s Gabriel Sherman that Van Susteren left after becoming “troubled by the culture” Ailes built.

Heads up, Greta, you’d have to say a million Hail Mary’s and come over and clean the tops of my ceiling fans to repent for the part you played in that.

I’m trying not getting excited yet but I am jumping up and down so much that I swear I can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.

The Washington Post.

At the same time, however, Trump is struggling in places Republicans have won consistently and that he must hold to have any hope of winning. These states include Arizona and Georgia, as well as Texas — the biggest surprise in the 50-state results. The Texas results, which are based on a sample of more than 5,000 people, show a dead heat, with Clinton ahead by one percentage point.

That means down ballot races are in play in Texas.  Rumor has it that she’s ahead by double digits in Harris County (think: Houston).

At least Texas was blessed by Rick Perry being stoopid.

We are not so lucky with Greg Abbott.  Greg Abbott is smart.  He knows how to finagle and cover up. He knows how to delay gratification and paybacks so that they don’t look like paybacks.

In Texas, former Deputy Chief of Consumer Protection, John Owens, has retired but he kept a 14 page summary of the charges against Donald Trump and Trump U defrauding consumers in Texas.

Owens, now retired, said his team had built a solid case against the now-presumptive Republican presidential nominee, but was told to drop it after Trump’s company agreed to cease operations in Texas.

The former state regulator told The Associated Press on Friday that decision was highly unusual and left the bilked students on their own to attempt to recover their tuition money from the celebrity businessman.

Owens found the “stand down” order he was given to be odd because it meant that Trump was being treated differently than others who commit fraud in Texas.

Owens’ boss at the time was then-Attorney General Greg Abbott, who is now the state’s GOP governor.

The Associated Press first reported Thursday that Trump gave donations totaling $35,000 to Abbott’s gubernatorial campaign three years after his office closed the Trump U case. Several Texas media outlets then reported Owens’ accusation that the probe was dropped for political reasons.

Abbott’s people claim the order didn’t come from him but from people lower down on the Greg Abbott scale of importance. Additionally, they add, it was three years after Abbott’s office saved Trump a couple of million that the pay-off came.

Oh yeah.  Three years is like a whole different epoch.

Then to add smoke to this fire, indicted felon Ken Paxton, our current attorney general, has issued a cease and desist letter against Owens. Apparently Owens has broken a Texas law against truth-telling and our attorney general is headed for Shut The Hell Up Corral.

Holy crap, I live here, y’all.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Y’all, Phyllis Schlafly went to the great beyond today.  That loud gasp you heard is Phyllis discovering that God is liberal black woman who wants to have a little chat with her.

Phyllis was 92 years old, proving once again that the good die young.