This story belongs in Texas or Florida but they want me to believe it happened in Rhode Island.

A 50-year-old Rhode Island man is charged with shooting corncobs at his neighbor’s home.

The Westerly Sun reports that Jeffrey Osella of Westerly was arrested Tuesday night. Police say he answered his door shirtless and had corn kernels stuck to his chest.

Not surprisingly, the story says the man and his neighbor did not get along.

He used a PVC pipe to build a potato cannon but must have been fresh outta potatoes.  So he used corn.

He’s free on bond after being charged with disorderly conduct. And corn littering.

I think the corn kernels stuck to his bare chest may have been the highlight of my day.

Ole Bubba and I were watching MSNBC for a little while last night and on comes this Hispanic guy defending Donald Trump’s immigration plan.  Among many insane things he said was this little tidbit.

Marco Gutierrez, in an interview with host Joy Reid, described Latino culture as “imposing” and “dominant,” and suggested that without the GOP presidential nominee’s 10-point plan to overhaul the United States’ immigration policies, there might be “taco trucks on every corner.”

“I don’t even know what that means, and I’m almost too afraid to ask,” Reid responded.

Oh hell, I know what it means.  It means that this idiot thinks taco trucks on every corner is a bad thing.

Honey, I live in Texas.  If you can’t walk or bike ride to a taco truck, you move.

If Latino culture is imposing and dominant, we’d all be speaking Spanish and drinking tequila in Texas.  Oh wait …

Y’all, the expression on Joy Reid’s face was worth a million bucks.

That expression was oh so appropriate for a woman who had just seen the insides of the bowels of hell.

I stole this graphic from my friend La Lisa Hernandez.  It spoke to my heart.

Dear Texas Democratic Party,

What the hell is wrong with you?  Do you know when we started losing in Texas?  When we quit leading, that’s when.

I know I am a damn broken record, but we either need to grow some or fold up the damn tent.

They are saying that Hillary Clinton is gonna win Arizona.  Wanna know why?  You really want to know?  Because both the minimum wage and marijuana legalization are on the ballot.  That’s damn why.  Democrats will turn out for that.

Hell, in Texas we can’t even get “controversial” stuff like that on the Democratic primary ballot because it might cause some sheriff candidate out in east Texas to lose his race because he supports dope.  The future of the Texas Democratic Party is not in east Texas.  The future of the Texas Democratic Party is in the city and young people and working people of America.

Thank you for your attention in this matter,

Juanita Jean Herownself

I know this comes as a shock to everyone, but —

Oh. No. This is not happening in my lifetime.  No.

At 5:31 am today —

Followed at 2:06 this afternoon …

Which, when translated by someone with a fairly decent knowledge of Tex-Mex, means “Repeating what I told you before in person, Mr. Trump, Mexico will never pay for a wall.”

Tweeter -in-Chief.  He’s running for damn Tweeter-in-Chief.

Thanks to John for the cool graphic.

I have spent most of two weeks calling people to beg them to do calling for Hillary and our local candidates.  I sent them a list, some pertinent information, and they start making calls.

Not so with Donald Trump.

Donald Trump, the leader of the Republican Party, can dish it out but he sure can’t take it.  You are un-allowed to say tacky things about him and it wants that promised in writing.

In order to call for Donald Trump as a volunteer, you have to sign a 2,217 word non-disclosure contract not to disparage Trump, his products, or his family – for damn ever.

If you want to read it for yourself, here it is.  It’s straight outta crazy town.

Check #10.  For freekin’ ever.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

The Federal Elections Commission ain’t about to suffer fools gladly.

They sent God a letter.  By the way, he lives on Staten Island at this prestigious location, right next to Beach Bum Tanning Salon.

Well, so much for that omnipresent thing.

The FEC has doubts that God is a candidate for office and acting as his own campaign treasurer.  You can see their questions for yourownself in this PDF.

Yeah, and Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen told me, “Identical letters were sent to Satan and Jesus Christ.  And Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Captain Crunch, the Ghost of Ronald Reagan, Deez Nuts, etc.”

I don’t know if that’s true because, you know, Alfredo drinks a little.  But he usually gets things right.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.