I am ready to put something on Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton that even Ajax won’t take off.

The courts have said that a voter in Texas should not have to have two IDs, a set of fingerprints, and their mother to swear to their birth in order to vote.  And they also said that Texas has to inform and educate voters of the “relaxed ID laws.”

Holy crap.  Look at this.

The federal government is accusing Texas of circulating “inaccurate or misleading information” to poll workers and would-be voters about relaxed identification requirements for the November elections.

Oh wait, Texas would try to mislead voters?  Would a one legged duck swim in a circle?  Would a 50 pound sack of flour make a big biscuit?

Oh hell, yeah.

U.S. District Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos ruled last month that Texas has to spend $2.5 million to re-educate the public about the new voting standards.  Our Governor and Attorney General argue that they don’t have to tell us how they’re going to spend that money.  Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t trust Bevis and Butthead to know how to effectively communicate in any minority community.

Then, to add stupid to bean dip dumb, they lie in the educational materials.  The tougher restrictions on voter ID is called. Senate Bill 14.

Ramos ordered Texas to educate voters about “the opportunity for voters who do not possess SB 14 ID and cannot reasonably obtain it to cast a regular ballot.”

But, Texas changes the language in the educational program to strip the word “reasonably” from the order.  Honey, dammit, both Abbott and Paxton are lawyers and they knew exactly what they were doing.

“That standard is incorrect and far harsher than the Court-ordered standard it would displace,” the Justices Department argues. “By recasting the Court’s language, Texas has narrowed dramatically the scope of voters protected by the Court’s Order.”

Texas refuses to change the language, the filing states, and the state officials believe they are following the court order.

They are damned and determined to keep people from voting in Texas.

There’s a hearing on Monday.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

The little boy in my life loves, loves, loves Peppa Pig.  For some damn reason every Peppa sleeping bag for sell is decidedly feminine.  So I found some Peppa fabric featuring George and Grandpa Pig and dusted off my sewing machine.  Priorities.

Use this open thread to discuss the Commander-in-Chief forum upcoming tonight.  And whatever the dickens else is bothering you.

Honest to God, this is a real headline.

It’s North Carolina so of course they are on edge.  Where are the clowns going to go to the bathroom?

As you know, clowns are genderless so how will we know which bathroom they are can use? It’s North Damn Carolina – genitals are our major concern.  Of course they are on edge.

The semi-almost-serious story is that several clowns have been spotted trying to lure children into the woods.

Police say a person dressed as a clown disappeared into the woods after being chased by a man wielding a machete on Tuesday — the third incident involving a clown in as many days in the Greensboro, North Carolina area.

A machete?  Honey, I’ve been to three state fairs, two rodeos and goat stampede, but I have never in my life seen a man chase a clown with a machete.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.

First, the Houston Chronicle endorses Hillary, now the Dallas Morning News, who has endorsed every Republican presidential candidate for 48 years has gone heavy duty down and guaranteed righteous.

“We have no interest in a Republican nominee for whom all principles are negotiable, nor in a Republican Party that is willing to trade away principle for pursuit of electoral victory.”

~ Editor, The Dallas Morning News, September 6, 2016

You go Urban Texas, you go proud!

Y’all, Greta Van Susteren is leaving Fox News.

What are we going to do if OJ kills somebody else? Who will explain it to us? She said that is was about contract options, but …

However, a source told New York Magazine’s Gabriel Sherman that Van Susteren left after becoming “troubled by the culture” Ailes built.

Heads up, Greta, you’d have to say a million Hail Mary’s and come over and clean the tops of my ceiling fans to repent for the part you played in that.

I’m trying not getting excited yet but I am jumping up and down so much that I swear I can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.

The Washington Post.

At the same time, however, Trump is struggling in places Republicans have won consistently and that he must hold to have any hope of winning. These states include Arizona and Georgia, as well as Texas — the biggest surprise in the 50-state results. The Texas results, which are based on a sample of more than 5,000 people, show a dead heat, with Clinton ahead by one percentage point.

That means down ballot races are in play in Texas.  Rumor has it that she’s ahead by double digits in Harris County (think: Houston).