I’m sure you all remember about the mess of money-grubbing and fancy pants horse thievery going on with the Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Republican Sid ByGawd Miller.

Ole Sid is using taxpayer money to fund his rodeo addiction, overeating, and weird-butt pain relievers.

The [Houston] Chronicle reported that Miller had spent $1,120 in taxpayer money on the February 2015 trip to Oklahoma and that his office had said the trip was for meetings that in reality never took place. The Chronicle also reported that Miller had used state and campaign money on a trip to Mississippi in which he competed in a rodeo and won $880 in prize money.

He also charged the taxpayers for his “Jesus shot” painkiller in Oklahoma.

Well ….

The Travis County District Attorney’s Office has begun reviewing the findings of a criminal investigation into Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller’s travel, a top prosecutor said Friday.

“We received the investigation (from the Texas Department of Public Safety) earlier this week,” said the prosecutor, Gregg Cox, the head of Travis County’s Public Integrity Unit. “It is under review.”

Here’s how this works.  He gets indicted. He screams that the “liberal” Travis County DA is picking on him. He goes to trial. He loses. He screams that the liberal Travis County jury did this awful thing to him because he loves Jesus. He appeals.  The conservative appeals court grants the appeal after about 3 years. Meanwhile, Sid stays in office because he’s a conservative legend because liberals are picking on him.

And that right there is Texas justice!

In the midst of all the hoopla over Hillary Clinton’s new poll numbers, there is a small hidden gem.

Ted Cruz is sinking, fast.

As of today, 61.4% of Texans view Ted Cruz either somewhat unfavorable or very unfavorable.

NOTE:  “The results include 448 Republicans, 305 Democrats and 265 others. It has a 3.1 percent margin of error and a 95 percent confidence level.”

The poll showed Joaquin Castro as running neck and neck with him, even though there’s 150 more Republicans than Democrats being polled.  .

Thanks, Trump.

Y’all, the Federal Elections Commission is picking on Louie Gohmert.

In their latest letter to him about his campaign finance report, they say …

Okay, okay, let us use this as a teaching moment.

Hyperbole: deliberate extreme exaggeration or overstatement.

Sarcasm: a sharp form of humor, intended to hurt, sometimes conveyed in speech with vocal over-emphasis insincerely saying something which is the opposite of one’s intended meaning.

When the Leader of the Republican Party said that Barack Obama is the founder of Isis, he was not being sarcastic because (1) it was not humorous, and (2) he did not mean the exact opposite.

He was also not using sarcasm because he said he wasn’t.

There is also Satire, which is Hyperbole and Sarcasm with an advanced degree.  Donald Trump would not recognize it if it bit him on the butt.

There, I feel better.

A prosecutor in Madison County, Indiana, by the name of Rodney Cummings, was at a restaurant called Texas Roadhouse at 11:00 pm so he did what comes naturally in Texas.  He shot something.

Cummings said he thinks his new 9 mm gun’s safety disengaged when he placed it inside the front pocket of his shorts. The gun then fired into the floor as Cummings walked out the door.

Okay, so the safety was off and there was a round in the chamber.  He put it in the front pocket of his shorts.  If the only thing he shot was the floor, he ain’t carrying much else in his shorts, if ya know what I mean.

Cummings claims he has carried a gun for 36 years as both a prosecutor and a police officer.

“I will not in the future have a round in the chamber,” he said. “It’s just not worth the risk.”

Good thinkin’, Perry Mason.

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