It appears that Governor Greg Abbott is coming to see our flooding tomorrow because … I dunno, he likes the book better than the movie?

I suspect he’s coming to tell us that this is not flooding, this is little baby Jesus tears crying that Barack Obama is destroying America.  And his solution?  Prayer. More prayer. Lots more prayer. You’re not praying hard enough, dammit. You’re all going to hell for the sins of homosexuals and liberals.

I hope they warned him about the unisex bathrooms at Jaime’s Dairy Mart and that our Planned Parenthood has condoms. Oh, we are so going to hell.

If I can find my waders, I want to ask him about this.  Abbott opened up a deceptive trade practices case against Trump University.  Did any of the students in Texas get their money back?  Nope. Wanna know why?

The office of then-Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, a Republican, opened a civil investigation of “possibly deceptive trade practices.” Abbott’s probe was quietly dropped in 2010 when Trump University agreed to end its operations in Texas. Trump subsequently donated $35,000 to Abbott’s successful gubernatorial campaign, according to records.

It’s not that I mind that the Governor is for sale.  Hell, we’ve gotten used to that around here.  What I mind is that he’s for sale so damn cheap.

We made national news for the flooding.  The Brazos River is puffed-up proud and flowing through homes that have never seen water before.

And now —

Bubba and i are high and dry for now and suspect we’ll stay that way.  However, we are packing up today and toting our good stuff upstairs because —

And there’s no place for the water to go.

So if you don’t hear from me today, I’m packing.  When I sit down to take a rest, I’ll see what’s up.  Plus, there’s bound to be another local Republican I can pick on.

I’ll post some pictures if I get a chance.

Okay, so there was a dust storm out in west Texas and one of them there college-educated meteorologists called it by its proper name – a haboob.

Oh hell, Honey, west Texas came apart at the seams, and started slinging snot ever which way.

Duck!  Darlin’, what came next is an electric haboob with rolling switchblades and a dozen underfed alligators.  What the hell has this kid done with the King’s English?

And —

I’m wondering what they use for counting out in west Texas?  Because it certainly wouldn’t be Arabic numerals, right?  None of that there fancy algebra either.

Some smarty-pants pointed that that Texas is a foreign word.

Plus, I think haboob is kinda fun to say.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

Thanks to John for the graphic.

We are in the worst emergency in the recorded history of this county. The worst. We are making national headlines because people are suffering.  The Brazos River is flooding like never before and we are expecting heavy rain today and tomorrow.  Even most of those who didn’t flood have lost electricity or can’t get to work because of the flooding.

In short, we are neck deep in misery.

Who is in charge when there’s an emergency in county?  The county judge. In our case, he’s not a judge.  He’s a high school graduate with a fake college degree who got elected county judge.  His name is Bob Hebert. It’s pronounced A-Bear but it should be pronounced Tone Deaf Butthole.

My Democratic county commissioner hasn’t gotten but a couple hours sleep for the past three days and is literally helping people pull stuff out of their flooding houses.  He’s taking food to the shelters and to the emergency workers.  Because that’s what decent human beings do.

But, my rich Republican county judge?  Oh, he’s on a cruise.  Bad enough, right?  Oh no.  He’s rubbing our wet noses it in.  Facebook.

.

Hey Bob, come home!  You can catch fish out your office window!

Why would you post pictures like that?  Why would you rub people’s noses in the fact that even people who aren’t flooded can’t get out of their neighborhoods because all the streets are flooded?  What the hell is wrong with this guy?  He’s eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in front of hungry children.

And when someone made a sarcastic comment, here was his answer …

He’s phoning it in.  Holy cow.

I hate Republicans.  I just hate them.

On a side note, the men and women at Emergency Management truly are doing an outstanding job.  Maybe it’s a blessing that Hebert isn’t here to screw things up.

UPDATE:

The local newspaper came out about 2 hours ago and Judge Hebert is quoted this morning —

Is that supposed to be funny?  I know funny and that is not funny.

But, at 1:45, the whining worked and his happy butt is coming home.

I swear to all that is holy that if he calls out the sheriff’s department helicopter to pick him up at the airport, I will be on him like green on grass.

Oh, y’all, lookie here, my dear:

“If black and Latino voters come out and vote, we could win Texas.”

— Hillary Clinton

Win Texas?  It’s only a remote possibility unless you pump some money and effort into this state.  Once Texas flips blue, the Republican party is deader than Hebert Hoover.

Texas has been the ATM machine for the Democratic Party for far too long.  There’s no need for that.  If every candidate who comes here for money would just leave 5% on the table for Texas Democrats, we could build a robust GOTV effort.  Just 5%.

This is “a thing” with me.  I am refusing to give money to out of state candidates who fundraise here.  Except Elizabeth Warren.  She came to fundraise big dollar donors in Austin; she taught at UT a while ago. She asked if there was anything she could do for Texas Democrats before she left town.  The Texas Democratic Party put together an outdoor fundraiser at a local beer joint.  They packed the place and filled the coffers by charging $35 to hear her speak.  That impressed me and every other Texas Democrat. She helped Texas and she bought a lot of goodwill here.  God bless her.

Just thought you’d want to know.

Thank to John for the heads up.