Archive for June, 2015

On Second Thought — Cruz and Biden

June 04, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Cruz

It doesn’t matter who you are or what your political beliefs, you have to ache for Vice President Biden and his family.

Wait, I was wrong.  It does indeed matter who you are.

Texas Republican Senator and excruciatingly mean man Ted Cruz, made a joke about Joe Biden on the night before his son’s funeral.  This alone is proof to me that Cruz is some kind of damn vampire or something.

But the fact that he had to wait for blowback to apologize is proof that he’s a damn loathsome vampire or something.

Detroit News reporter Chad Livengood tweeted —

Livengood said on Twitter that when he asked Cruz after the event why he joked about Biden, given the timing, Cruz simply “turned and walked away.”

There’s a tape of it.

Hours later, Cruz issued an apology after people noted that was pretty damn classless.

Yeah, we need a president who has to go around apologizing for being a damn slow loathsome vampire.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Hey Santorum! Back Off! You’re Hogging All The Stupid!

June 04, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Rick Santorum, Uncategorized

Y’all, Rick Santorum is all upset about the Pope mentioning climate change.

Santorum describes himself as a “huge fan” of the pope, but on “The Dom Giordano Show” on Monday, he said “the church has gotten it wrong a few times on science, and I think that we probably are better off leaving science to the scientists and focusing on what we’re really good at, which is … theology and morality.”

See, there’s a couple of problems with that.

First, climate change is morality.  Santorum believes morality is sex and not a damn thing more.  I would also like to hit him over the head with the Bible because it says that God put us on the earth “to work it and keep it.”

Second, according to The Catholic Herald, the Pope is a scientist.

Jorge Bergoglio was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina’s capital city, Dec. 17, 1936.

He studied and received a master’s degree in chemistry at the University of Buenos Aires, but later decided to become a Jesuit priest and studied at the Jesuit seminary of Villa Devoto.

So in the GOP clown car the really ignorant rise to the top.  That’s a scientific fact.

Thanks to Lolly for the heads up.

Hand In Those Ta-Tas, Carly

June 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Fiorina

Carly Fiorina a puppet of the fellas running for President.  They can’t attack Hillary Clinton so they use Carly to do it.

Carly follows Hillary Clinton around and then holds press conferences in front of the hotels where Hillary is speaking.  She was trying to ambush Hillary but got headed off at the pass by logic and questions.  Her Clinton-bashing press conference lasted 11 minutes.

Screen Shot 2015-06-03 at 6.13.41 PMBut Ms. Fiorina quickly grew discomfited when the questions seemed to treat her more as a heckler pulling a stunt than as a formidable candidate making an otherwise significant campaign stop.

One reporter asked if Ms. Fiorina was being used by the men in the Republican field to harass Mrs. Clinton.

Noooooooooo, not me, said Fioina.  Nooooooooooo, I wouldn’t do that.  I have been scheduled to do this for months.

After a few more questions, she couldn’t take the heat so she left the kitchen.

“All right, thank you, everyone,” an aide interjected after about 11 minutes.

A reporter tried to pose another question. But Ms. Fiorina demurred.

“Thanks, you guys — I have a lunch to go to,” she said, carefully stepping across the cables stretching to the satellite trucks that had arrived to record Mrs. Clinton’s appearance inside the hotel.

Okay, I will admit that the used of the word “demurred” is kinda sexist, but the reporter is woman and I think she was having some fun with a poopie del pollo candidate.  I’d do the same thing myself.

It’s gonna get fun!

Oh.

June 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ann Coulter – the reason I want to believe in hell.

She has written a book saying that it’s not illegal immigrants who bother her, but all immigrants.  That would include me.  And Ann Coulter.

Wicked Witch Woman.

Water, Water Everywhere

June 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Huckabee

Mike Huckabee is one damn comedian, y’all.  He said he would interested in becoming transgendered when he was in high school so he “could shower with the girls.”

Let me just say this.  No one, no where, at no time, of any damn gender should be forced to shower with Mike Huckabee.

And then get this:

Screen Shot 2015-06-03 at 3.54.27 PM“For those who do not think that we are under threat,” he said, “simply recognize the fact that we are now in city after city watching ordinances say that your seven-year-old daughter — if she goes into the restroom — cannot be offended and you can’t be offended if she’s greeted there by a 42-year-old man who feels more like a woman than he does a man.”

Does he understand how women’s bathrooms work?  Tell me, is this guy drunk or lost?  Hint: women’s bathrooms have doors on each potty.  We do not, despite whatever fantasies Mike Huckabee has, scamper around nakkid in the bathroom.  Hulk Hogan could be in the bathroom but he’s still not getting into my business.

Making this about “what will we tell the children” is silly.  Grown ups tell their chidden to mind their damn business in the bathroom.

Additionally, you old fool, we don’t have “bathroom greeters.”  I would tell my children – male or female – that if anybody tries to greet you in the bathroom, holler for your momma.

One more thing.  I promise this is the last thing.  I was raised with only brothers, no sisters, I married a man and give birth to three sons, no daughters.  I have shared bathrooms with men my entire life.  As far as I know, the only positions for a toilet seat are up or wet.  It may have been disgusting a time or two or eleven but it hasn’t killed me yet nor, and this is the important part, made me a pervert who is overly concerned about whether somebody jingles or jangles when they go in the bathroom and close the damn door.

And that’s that.

Chili and Kool-Aid

June 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have a friend who works with a governmental thing in Houston.  Sometime she has to work to surrounding counties and deal with the Agenda 21 people.  They scare the peewadiddle out of her.  She is way more afraid of the people who believe there is an Agenda 21 conspiracy than she is of Agenda 21.

Screen Shot 2015-06-03 at 8.46.32 AMIf you have some free time this morning, mosey on over to this bandwidth.  I have to admit that it took me a while to figure out if it’s satire or real because it’s that damn crazy.

These people believe that the flooding in Texas was a weather event set off by Obama and the Agenda 21 people.  Why Texas, you ask.

Both ex-Governor Rick Perry, and now current Governor Greg Abbott of Texas, have been a HUGE thorn in President Obama’s side ever since he took up residence in the White House. You name the issue — Gun control, Obamacare, Illegal immigrants, Gay Marriage, JADE HELM[1]. The list goes on and on, but there are enough in the aggregate for the geoengineers in the West Wing Situation Room to rain on a Texas parade whenever possible.

Last time I checked, President Obama had a 55% approval rating.  Rick Perry is polling at 3% and Greg Abbott is an idiot. Huge thorn?  Nah.  More like a little prick.

The guys are not burdened by reality.  Get this —

The Obama Administration has already demonstrated no reluctance whatsoever in commencing purely political prosecutions as they have against potential presidential candidate Rick Perry. Using their Austin-based proxy prosecutor to file a patently false indictment against Perry shows just how far Obama & Company will go to force the state into complete submission.

Oh dear.  First of all, Perry’ indictment is not a federal case. It’s a state indictment. Perry was indicted by a Republican special prosecutor who was appointed by a very Republican judge.  Odds are pretty damn good that they didn’t even tell President Obama about it.