Ted Cruz is not fond of background checks for toting firearms around.  In fact, he works hard against them.

Unless……

…. you have a gun near him.

It’s a No-Shoot Sweepstakes unless you’re willing to undergo a background check.  Read the rules.

Promotion Rules. One (1) potential winner will be selected by a random drawing from all eligible entries to be held at the Cruz for President headquarters on Thursday, June 11, 2015. Sponsor may, at its option, conduct a background check on each potential winner. Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any potential winner from receiving the Prize based on such background check if Sponsor determines, in its sole discretion that awarding the Prize to such potential winner could result in a safety or security risk to any person or persons or could result in the disruption of any event associated with the Promotion. Sponsor will, in its sole discretion, then select one (1) winner from the list of eligible potential winners on the basis of criteria determined and applied by Sponsor to provide for an appropriate range of views, backgrounds, and interests among the winners selected.

So you have to have “appropriate” views, background, and interest.

Here’s my question:  Why don’t those same rules apply to Ted Cruz?  There is not one damn thing about Ted Cruz that is appropriate.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

I am pretty damn sure that his stylist was a gay guy getting even.

Okay, there’s this.

Yeah, no joke.  All the paperwork is in PDF format right here.  Of course, you gotta be a little tad curious about why a guy in Pennsylvania has his bank in San Antonio, Texas.  Oh sure, there’s no coordination going on at all.

Hummm …. Fairy for Perry?  Tushes for Bushes?  Tree Stump for Trump?

Oh hell, this is getting better than recess in heaven.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Rick Perry has a new theme song.  I suspect it’s gonna go over real good at pool halls, gun stores, homes where people watch “Cops” to see their relatives, and any place where people get rip-snorting drunk.

“Rick Perry supporter, let’s protect our border,” the rap part says. “To hell with anyone who don’t believe in the USA / Rick Perry all the way.”

“I won’t back up / I don’t back down / I been raised up / To stand my ground / Take my job / But not my gun / Tax my check till I ain’t got none / ‘Cept for the good lord up above / I answer to no one,” the country part says.

“Give me my right to vote / My right to tote / The weapon of my choice, don’t censor my voice,” goes the second rap verse.

You think I’m kidding, don’t you?

With Navy Seals on each side of him, Rick Perry pretty much promised to take us to war just like every other President from Texas has because Rick Perry answers only to God.  Last I heard, God wasn’t speaking to him.

And Jon Stewart had some fun with Rick’s line of “We must do right, and risk the consequences.”

I kinda think we’re still in for some fun when I hear Rick Perry say, “There is nothing wrong in America today that a change in leadership will not make happen.” No matter how much I think about that sentence, it still gives me a loop-dee-lou headache.

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Well, we have open carry in Texas and this is what we can look forward to.  Warning:  This video has foul language and abominable behavior toward police officers in Abilene, Texas.  The scary part is that Open Carry Texas is proud of this video.

This is what our state legislature is so proud of.

The day that some damn fool can stand on the sidewalk in front of my house armed to the teeth screaming at police officers is the day I resign from Texas.