Springtown, Texas, is just a couple of miles shy of Oklahoma, and if Oklahoma sucked just a little bit more, they’d all be Sooners.

Which would be an improvement because right now, they’re all just kinky.

School board members voted Monday night to change school district policy to allow opposite gender employees to administer corporal punishment to students, but only with written permission from parents.

The Springtown school mascot - appropriately pricky

How this change in policy came about is that a male teacher walloped two female students on the beehind so badly that it raised bruises.  The girls mothers complained that this violated school policy and it just wasn’t right.  So, to fix this knowingly egregious violation of school policy, they just changed the policy.  So, you don’t have to trust the school not to do the wrong thing when it’s against policy.  You can now count on them to do the wrong thing because now the wrong thing is the policy.

Some outside agitator from Houston, who probably has one of them there normal, active hoochy-koochy lives, commented,

“Hitting schoolchildren with boards would be a felony assault charge if done anywhere except at the school,” Dunne said. “Hitting schoolchildren is no more acceptable than hitting your wife or your mother.”

Oddly, they do have a procedure for reporting bullying in Springtown.  But bullying by an adult is acceptable behavior because we teach by our actions.  Oh wait.  Never mind.

Thanks to Vickie for the heads up.

So Carol told me that she didn’t know whether this was a joke or not.

It’s Politico so maybe it’s not satire.

I dunno. What this is is crazzzzy.

After Craig Robinson, a former political director of the Republican Party of Iowa, told The New York Times that Paul Ryan’s political future was dead unless he got rid of the “stench of Mitt Romney,” Ryan went Sarah Palin rogue.

Though Ryan had already decided to distance himself from the floundering Romney campaign, he now feels totally uninhibited. Reportedly, he has been marching around his campaign bus, saying things like, “If Stench calls, take a message” and “Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.”

Ryan, Dude, you are not supposed to do that. You signed up to be on the Titanic, so you are supposed to go down like a man.

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.

By golly, Harry Reid is just goshwaggled over Mitt Romney’s brand of Mormonism.

And, the word sullied is being gently tossed around.

Next thing you know, they are going to get themselves all a’twitter with outrage. And you know what Mormon outrage looks like, right? It’s like regular outrage except they get piffed instead of raged.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

I am not good at Twittering.  Hell, Honey, I can’t even say hello in 140 characters or less.

But, I deeply admire people who can.

Like this —

Dude, that is so visual.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

Y’all all know my friend Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen who has the inside scoop on lotsa stuff.

Thank you, Alfredo

Well, in case y’all were wondering why Alfredo works at the Dairy Queen, there’s a good explanation for that.  Dairy Queen is one of the five fast food chains that donate to Democrats.  Warren Buffet’s Berskshire Hathaway acquired DQ in 1998, and that’s why there’s a whole cup of happy in every Blizzard.

The other four are Checkers, Panera Bread, Popeye’s Chicken, and Starbucks.

Damn, I’m hungry.

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.

Actual scientific study at Duke University: Dominance, Politics, and Physiology: Voters’ Testosterone Changes on the Night of the 2008 United States Presidential Election

And the study found that men who voted for McCain / Palin had a 28% loss of testosterone on election night.

The results were clear-cut. Men who had voted for McCain – or the libertarian candidate Robert Barr – experienced a 28 per cent loss of testosterone almost as soon as the contest was over. LaBar notes that levels of testosterone, produced by both male and female gonads but in much larger amounts in men, are directly linked to important masculine behaviors such as “aggression, risk-taking and response to threats”.

Apparently the male GOP and Barr voters reported feelings of “unhappiness” and “submissiveness” following the crushing defeat of their chosen national leaders.

So that explains why after the 2008 election, Republican men went home on a crying jag and did the dishes.  And that is also how Republicans ended up with wussy candidates like Romney, Gingrich, and Santorum this election.

It’s called emotional castration.

LaBar and his colleagues report that testosterone levels among women and Democrats in the trial were unaffected.

So, what this study says is that voting Republican is dangerous to your manhood.

Republican men:  No group in the world deserves emasculation more.

I consider it a personal challenge to best our record and set a new Testosterone Tanking Level in Republican men this November.  Honey, it is our duty as Democratic women to go to the Republican headquarters on election night and pass out the much needed Viagra.  Well, after we point and giggle, that is.

Thanks to MB for the heads up.