You know how when your 87 year old grandmother is in intensive care and the doctor comes out and says, “It’s in God’s hands?”  Or hell, anytime a doctor says, “it’s in God’s hands?”

That means the doctor doesn’t know what else to do because she’s tried everything she knows and nothing worked.

Welcome to the crazy world of Republicans right now.

Mormons are afraid that mitt Romney is going to screw up the debates.

Mormon supporters of Mitt Romney are promoting a day of mass fasting and prayer to seek divine help for the Republican candidate in the debates.

The plan — which is not endorsed by the politically neutral Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — is laid out in an email inviting like-minded Mormons to fast on September 30th with the purpose of bringing God’s blessings to Romney as he heads into the presidential debates.

And since this is just 3 days before the debate, God has a very short time to decide what to do with Mitt during the debates:  flip-flopping Romney or Lying Mitt?  That’s a tough decision.  I guess that’s why God has to make it.  Lord knows Mitt can’t.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

The New Yorker magazine takes on the GOP version of history, including some wonderful history lessons from some of your favorite Texans.

1500s: The American Revolutionary War begins: “The reason we fought the revolution in the sixteenth century was to get away from that kind of onerous crown.”—Rick Perry

1607: First welfare state collapses: “Jamestown colony, when it was first founded as a socialist venture, dang near failed with everybody dead and dying in the snow.”—Dick Armey

2009: Michigan diversifies its legal system: “The judges in Dearborn are using, and allowing to be used, Shariah law.”—Representative Leo Berman

2010: Flying Jihad Terror Babies invade America: “It appeared they would have young women who became pregnant. They would get them into the United States to have a baby, they wouldn’t even have to pay anything for the baby, and then they would return back where they could be raised and coddled as future terrorists.”—Representative Louie Gohmert

Yes, Texas appears to be the most represented state when it comes to dog dump dumb Republicans.

Check them all out right about here.

Thanks to Rip for the heads up.

Customer Elizabeth Moon reports that it took her doing seven backflips and a couple of cartwheels to ensure that she is listed as a registered voter on the Texas Secretary of State “Am I Registered to Vote?” website.

You might want to check it yourself because, dammit, I do not trust anybody appointed by Rick Perry.

And I especially do not trust Republicans with this election!

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

Y’all, you know that it’s gutter dredging time when Newt Gingrich is giving debate advice to Mitt Romney.

And Newt’s advice:  be assertive.  Yeah, Mitt, be the manly man that is the Newtie.

Okay, let’s be honest about this.  Those two boys are all lime and salt, no tequila.

Imagine either one of them in this picture.

I’m not saying that Mitt and Newt are kinda wimpy, but neither of them could pull this off, Honey.  I’m from Texas, I would know.

So Mitt should get all up in the President’s face and stomp his feet? Y’all I would pay $100 cash American money to see that.  But, luckily, I’ll get to see it for free.  On the teevee.  In one week.

I can hardly wait, y’all.

Seamar Diver’s International, Stafford, Texas.

Eloy, of course, voted in the Republican Primary this year.

We built the roads to his business.  We educated his workers.  We keep airplanes from falling out of the sky on his head.  We let him know to batten down for a hurricane.  We supply safe water for his workers to drink.  We pick up his garbage and allow him to flush his toilet into our sewer system.

By the way, the mayor of the city where Eloy’s business abides is a Democrat who runs such an efficient government that it’s the only city in the county without property taxes.  That’s gotta chap Eloy’s butt.

UPDATED:

Lookie what I missed but Alfredo caught:

Seamar’s Florida Operations is well positioned to manage the high demand of the international and domestic cruise line and shipping industry as well as various underwater construction projects managed by city, state and federal authorities.

And whaddya know, there’s Ole Elroy sucking off the government teat.

So Scott Brown seems just real peeved that Elizabeth Warren doesn’t “look” Native American.

Honey, I am proudly 1/4 Creole with red hair and green eyes – figure that one, Mr. You Don’t Look Right.

But in that classy manner known only to the Entitled White Boys, Scott Brown sent his  government paid staffers out in backwards baseball caps to make fun of Elizabeth Warren by doing their version of the Tomahawk Chop and the Indian war dance.

Stay classy, privileged young white boys on the government teat.  Stay classy.

I just think it’s weird, y’all, that people who think they are entitled to all manner of special treatment are the first to use the word entitlement as a negative.

Plus, kid, the sun is bright.  Turn your hat around.  You look like a damn idiot.