Okay, I hope you get to see all this because even my magic geek elves could not figure out how to post it on my website.

I want you to meet DaNae Couch, the new Miss Texas.  She is a perfectly lovely child and I am certain that she will represent the fine tradition Texas womanhood at the Miss America pageant.  I know that because her talent is baton twirling.

Only in Texas is a grown woman twirling a baton considered talent.

Let me make it clear that unlike a lot of feminists, I have nothing against beauty pageants.  Looking good is hard work. And they do have that all-important tough question section of the pageant.

And that is where DaNea excelled.  She, of course, does have the advantage of being a third year law student at Texas Tech University where, best I know, critical thinking skills have not been disallowed.

If you are on Facebook, you can see DaNea answer her question live and in person.  Her question was, “If you could change one thing in our political system, what would it be?”

For those you you who cannot see it, I offer this color commentary of her answer from a friend of mine who was there:

The question, which had been written by Miss East Texas and fished from a bowl, was “If you could change something in our political system, what would it be?”

She replied, “I think, especially with an upcoming election, the thing that I would change about our political system is the amount candidates are allowed to spend on campaigns?” (So far, so good; I interjected the question mark ’cause that’s how her voice sounded at the end of the sentence. She continued.) “Because I think, with the economy being the way it is, we have such a problem in our country with people being able to afford things. So I would like to see the candidates, instead of raising money to put into their campaigns, being able to raise money to give back to our country, where it belongs, and being able to focus on OUR people instead of themselves.”

Funny thing is, I might agree, altho’ I call that Communism.

It is reported that DaNea was wearing a dress that costs about the same as your average hotly contested congressional race while giving this answer.

I am also told that she kept dropping her baton during the talent section.  Personally, I think that was planned to show the judges that during the Miss America contest that Miss Oklahoma, who sings operas she wrote herself while wearing shoes she designed and cobbled, might just “happen” to slip and fall on a misplaced baton as she comes on stage and break a necessary body part for the competition.

I love yew, Texas.

An actual email I got at my actual email address on my actual iPhone.

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Yeah, well, when you got it, you got it.

Thanks be to God for the heads-up.

Very cool website.  It’s Obama Cares.

Thanks to RM for the heads-up.

So now the story is that Mitt Romney retired retroactively?

Mitt Romney adviser Ed Gillespie said Sunday that the candidate “retired retroactively” from his job at Bain Capital, which Romney maintains that he left in 1999 despite evidence suggesting he remained involved with the company until 2002.

That is very cool.  Mitt Romney has found the secret to time travel.

I’m voting for him in hopes that he’ll share it with the rest of us.  I would use that power  for good, not evil.  Like, I would retroactively go back and not eat that cheesecake I had last night.  Disco?  I’d go back and retroactively tell the Bee Gees to shut the hell up.

Imagine the fun the we could have with that whole space/time continuum thing if Romney would share his secret.

There is a downside, though.  I don’t think Romney would take us back to the future.  He would take us back to the back.  I guess the only thing we could change is the invention of fire or something.  I mean cheesecake is a fairly recent invention.

First an Etch-a-Sketch, now a time machine – this Romney guy is just full of toys, ain’t he?

Okay, here’s scientific evidence that crazy is contagious.

Texas and Iowa are not that far apart.  At best, crazy would have to travel two states where hitchhiking is not only legal but a major component of the transportation system.

And travel it did.

The Republican candidate for a state Senate seat in eastern Iowa has ended her campaign and instead declared herself a U.S. Senator for the state of Iowa.

In a letter dated July 4, the candidate, Randi Shannon of Coralville, argued that the legitimate federal government of the United States was replaced by illegitimate “corporate” government in 1871 and has been operating since then in violation of the U.S. Constitution.

She learned this fact just recently, she said, and has come to believe it after months of research.

Bless her heart, she even wrote a letter proclaiming her research, which was mostly written by the glow of neon beer signs over at the shooting range.  It’s plenty entertaining to read, what with her using words like plethora and egregious.

She’s even got a You Tube but be warned that the first 45 seconds will make your ears bleed, but the costume changes are fabulous!  Just totally fabulous!  I mean, going from clerical scarf to bandana in 10 seconds was genius, pure genius, and exactly what this country needs in a United States Senator.

Thanks to Allan for the heads-up.

This caught my fancy.

Alan Keyes, conservative extraordinary and Ronald Reagan pimp, has made a pronounce about the upcoming Presidential election between President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney.

No matter how such an election turns out, people content to choose between Satan and Beelzebub have made clear their willingness to let things go to hell.

Those with their memories intact know that Alan Keyes ran for President in 1996, 2000, and 2008.  Without even checking Wikipedia, you know he lost.  And, admittedly, between 2000 and 2008, things pretty much did go to hell.  But things went great in 1996 when Keyes lost and in 2008 when he lost again.  I think he was counting on Gore winning in 2000, which he did but … well, you know the rest.

Personally, I think Alan Keys IS the devil.  I kinda hope he runs again this year.  The Democrats and the country need the win.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.