Sarah Sanders trots out her scowling self on Fox News to defend Brett Kavanaugh and Trump.  She gets her ducks in a row in her head and then says – out loud, mind you – that she thinks Kavanaugh should get a vote.

It think it makes Ted look more human.  I mean, who among hasn’t looked longingly at the face of Beto O’Rourke?

This is in today’s NY Times Opinion piece that is a conversation between Gail Collins and Bret Stephens, a semi-Republican.  It is the best description of Ted Cruz I have ever read.

Bret: Because he’s like a serpent covered in Vaseline. Because he treats the American people like two-bit suckers in 10-gallon hats. Because he sucks up to the guy who insulted his wife — by retweet, no less. Because of his phony piety and even phonier principles. Because I see him as the spiritual love child of the 1980s televangelist Jimmy Swaggart and Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining.” Because his ethics are purely situational. Because he makes Donald Trump look like a human being by comparison. Because “New York values.” Because his fellow politicians detest him, and that’s just among Republicans. Because he never got over being the smartest kid in eighth grade. Because he’s conniving enough to try to put one over you, but not perceptive enough to realize that you see right through him. Because he’s the type of man who would sell his family into slavery if that’s what it took to get elected. And that he would use said slavery as a sob story to get himself re-elected.

Otherwise, you might say I’m his No. 1 fan.

Amen.

Thanks to Jan for the heads up.

So, here’s this one.

If Trump has 19 sexual assault allegations and is traveling south at 60 mph, and Kavanaugh has 3 sexual assault allegations and is traveling west at 35 mph, how many more allegations do they need before people start believing women?

Keeping in mind that both men have the white of way.

Thanks to a friend.

This week, both Miss Lindsey and Turtle Mitch have made a big damn deal over the idea that they are men of such honor and courage that they would never “ruin a man’s life” by rejecting him from a lifetime seat on the Supreme Damn Court for no good reason.

Please allow me to introduce them to Merrick Garland.

Sumbitches.

Let me ask another question. How damn impartial can a Supreme Court nominee be when he goes on Fox News – Fox News of all possible new outlets – to defend himself?

He worked on the Ken Starr investigation, and there’s a guy with a real sex problem, and then for George Dubya, who ought to be prison right now, and then he runs to Fox News to make himself the victim.  Yeah, we can trust this guy to be fair and impartial.

Well, why am I not surprised?

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh defended himself on Fox News against the sexual assault allegations roiling his nomination by saying he was a virgin through high school and college.

He added that he did not have sex until “many years after” college.

How many?  I want to know how many.  Okay, 2 is a couple, 3 is a few, 4 is several, 5 is about medium, so how many is many.  Maybe the dude is still a Virgin.

The truth is that I do not believe a damn word out of this guy’s mouth. I seriously doubt that his name is Brett.

Y’all, there just has to be a joke in this situation about sacrificing a virgin, but I can’t find it.