Just like in the Robin Williams’ movie, Awakenings, comatose patients in the Senate came out of their Trumpist comas long enough to speak out against Trump’s latest power grab that would destroy hundreds of billions of dollars of economic growth for no good reason.  His idiotic tariff against Mexican imports over illegal immigration is one of Stephen Miller’s (Trump’s resident white supremacist) worst yet, so bad, in fact, that the comatose have risen to finally say no.  It will be interesting now if Trump is dumb enough to push it to a vote.

I’m popping popcorn and pulling a few beers out of the fridge for this one.

The Democratic Party race to the 2020 nomination to face Orange Julius Cheeser will kick off with their first debate at the Adrienne Arsht Center in Miami, on the evenings of June 26-27. Yes, it’s a two-day extravaganza of wannabes, has-beens, never-wases, also-rans and contenders hosted by NBC, MSNBC and Telemundo, all children of NBCUniversal, of the House of Comcast.

The First of His Name

Speaking of ’20, that’s the number of candidates who will be invited to the debate, 10 for each of the nights. Assuming that no one else decides to declare for the nomination in the next three weeks, that means that there will be 4 candidates of the current two dozen who will spend the two nights tweeting butt-hurt from the sidelines.  That is not as bad as it seems, because the top guns in the middle of the actual furball are only going to get about 10 minutes each on average to stand out from the madding crowd.

Some broke, some addled, four out

Who gets an invitation depends on polling and an odd measurement of “grass roots” support. For polling, a candidate must poll more than 1% three times in “qualified” polls, which encompass an array of media and polling giants, including FOX News but NOT RRRRRasmussen! The polls can either be national surveys or from any of the early states: IA, NH, SC, NV.

So far, 20 candidates have reached this threshold. This is the first decider.

If more than 20 candidate qualify via polling, grass roots fundraising is the next determinant. This is measured by unique donors to a campaign: a minimum of 65,000 comprising at least 200 donors from 20 different states. For this reason, you may see an onslaught of requests for micro-donations to micro-candidacies over the next week, as only 13 campaigns have reached the 65k mark.

Lookin’ at you, Mike Gravel!

Further tie-breakers are almost as complicated to calculate as the NFL Wild Card spot, but still rely on these two basic measures in varying combinations. The final date to have reached qualifying status in either measure is next Thursday, June 13.  Candidates will be assigned to a night randomly, thus avoiding any “kiddie table” talk; but, sadly, the “clown car” comparison will remain apt.

Selfie: all the Dems who think they can win

What all this all but guarantees is that anyone in the game right now, with even the faintest of chances, will have an opportunity to run to every medium they can reach crying “I was robbed!” and that practically nothing will be resolved prior to Detroit, on July 30-31, when they get to do it all over again.

I didn’t realize that Trump has a new reality television series starting next season, but Colbert got the scoop and announced it tonight –

He leaked the storyline which is based on a classic Shakespearean tragedy that expresses the dichotomy between a talented American actress who meets and marries a British Royal and a jealous, petty American stalker who hates her because…she’s happy and he’s a miserable dick.

Update at the bottom.

Trump embarrassed himself (and us) on the first day of his visit to the UK, ranting on Twitter about boycotting AT&T over CNN, attacking Meghan Merkle, and generally being the buffoon in the most sophisticated and proper society on the planet.  For those expecting more faux pas, Trump didn’t disappoint tonight.  We know that Trump dresses like a soup sandwich, wearing dumpy suits, cheap Made in China clown-length ties, and ill fitting everything.  Let’s face it – a seventy plus fat guy who lives on Big Macs, fries, and soft drinks pretty much looks like crappola in virtually anything he puts on.  But tonight, the guy who describes himself as “really, really rich” looked like he rented his white tie and tails from the aisle with the flashing blue light at Kmart.  He appeared tonight looking like some overweight gamer wearing a Fred Astaire costume to a Halloween party at the local YMCA.  His appearance, especially alongside Prince Charles was laugh out loud funny.  To wit:

Notice the white vest, known as a “waistcoat” in white tie parlance.  Look at Prince Charles, and the look at His Orangeness.  See the difference?  Trump’s waistcoat, obviously designed for someone who’s ACTUALLY 6′ 3″, hangs down a good 4″ below his tailcoat.  Prince Charles is fitted correctly, with his waistcoat, not bought off the rack, slightly shorter than the front of his tailcoat.  It’s a small, but very telling faux pas.  Trump passes himself off as an upper class elite billionaire who’s an expert in all things, including technology and climate science.  The problem is, he doesn’t know shit about proper formal dress, and obviously ignored any advice to the contrary.  For contrast, here’s how past presidents have worn the look.

I know this is nitpicking, but our female politicians suffer this criticism on a daily basis.  I find that all’s fair, so Trump deserves mockery for desperately begging for mockery for the way he’s dressed.

UPDATE:

One of our readers sent in this correction to the royal photo:

In a moment of bag of horse manure stupid, 97 year old Lila Cockrell, former mayor of San Antonio, was turned away by officials from the polls for the mayoral runoff last Thursday because she didn’t have the proper ID.  Texas has one of the most idiotic voter ID suppression laws in the country.  For example, you can vote with your gun license, but can’t vote with your University of Texas ID.  The law is an incredible burden for the elderly and economically disadvantaged, as Republicans have made voter fraud suppression a key plank in their platform power grab.  Shockingly, the courts have often gone along (or delayed decision until it’s too late) over voter suppression and radical gerrymandering.

To make this story even more enraging, Bexar County voting official Jacque Callanen said (in his most Nazi-like apologist voice), “It was uncomfortable for the election officials to tell her, ‘No.’ Obviously, they knew who she was,” Callanen said. “But the law is the law. The election officials did what they’re supposed to do.”  Hey, Jacque – when the law turns away a qualified voter who everyone in the place knows is qualified over “the law”, the goddam law is wrong and needs to be struck down.  If Ray Charles were alive today, even he could see that, dumbass.

In the biggest bomb to hit Britain since the Blitz, Dunning J Kruger has flown over to London.  First of all, you know Trump holds Britain in low regard because the Ambassador to the Court of St James – yet another pal of his – is Mr. Stiff Prick.

Actually “Woody Johnson”

On arrival, Trump called London Mayor Sadiq Khan a “stone cold loser” and, typically, misspelled his name while insulting his 5’6″ height. “Kahn [sic] reminds me very much of our very dumb and incompetent Mayor of NYC, de Blasio, who has also done a terrible job – only half his height.”  Meanwhile, Melania be’d best by appearing as Eliza Doolittle.

“Vouldn’t it be besterly?”

England is responding with their typical brio and aplomb.  The Vauxhall Bridge, which faces the US Embassy, has been festooned with 5 banners reading “Resist sexism”, “Resist racism”, “Resist hate”, “Resist cruelty” and “Resist Trump.”

London bridge is galling Don

The Museum of London is hoping to add this satirical blimp to their permanent collection in honor of a “controversial moment.” (No, really!) The 20′ blimp was approved to fly by Mayor Khan, who also earned Trump’s Twit-ire by likening his divisive rhetoric to “fascists of the 20th century.”

Traitor Tot

Inspired by that blimp, which originally flew last year, an American animatronic dinosaur creator has sent this to the UK: a 16′ robotic Trump at what we all know to be his morning toilette.

Twitler Toidy Boy

I wonder what kind of welcome the Queen has planned?

Yes, Ma’am