Texas Republican Attorney General Ken Paxton is an indicted felon for security fraud who has been postponing his trial for years in a legal dance that that puts the hula to shame.  He even got his wife elected to the Texas legislature and the first damn thing she did was try to change the law that he is accused of violating.  And he flat ass stole somebody’s expensive fountain pen and kept it for 15 months before he got caught.

His wife also wrote a song called, “I am a pistol packing Momma and my husband sues Obama,” and sang it all across the state.  Paxton sued Obama 48 times.  And apparently he did that because he had nothing better to do with his time, like this …

A report out Wednesday by the San Antonio Express-News found that a gun owner in Texas had sent more than 100 pages of racist and violent letters to the Texas Attorney General’s office threatening to kill undocumented immigrants over the course of a year and a half, and that nothing was done to stop him or to communicate the threat to local authorities.

Now Newsweek has found more evidence that Paxton just doesn’t give a big bear’s butt about the things he should care about.

“We will open fire on these thugs,” the white man who allegedly sent the messages wrote in an email to the office. “It will be a bloodbath.”

He didn’t write this to Paxton only once – he did it 100 times and Paxton didn’t think it needed tending to.  Neighbors say the guy has security cameras all around his house and that he often emerged holding a shotgun.

Ya gotta wonder what the fool tarnation Paxton is doing with his time this time.

Thanks to Vance Ex-Tex for the heads up.

It’s James Sensenbrenner now.

Wisconsin Republican Jim Sensenbrenner, the second longest-serving member of the U.S. House of Representatives, will not run for a 22nd term, he said Wednesday.

Sensenbrenner made his first public announcement Wednesday on The Mark Belling Show on WISN-AM (1130).

In a separate interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, he said, “I think the time has come to basically turn over the page in the 5th District.”

Oh Honey, that time came and went a decade ago.

It’s gonna be a rough year for Republicans. They know they can’t win back the House and fear that Democrats will treat them just like they treated Democrats.

Yesterday, Trump did what only Trump can do, and that is to lie on national television to prove that he hadn’t made an untrue statement.  This time, he was trying to justify blurting out that Hurricane Dorian was forecast to hit Alabama, which it wasn’t.  He was so obsessed with the press calling him out for the  mistake that he actually took a print of the National Hurricane Center’s forecast map from last Thursday and actually altered it with a Sharpie.  Yes, that’s right, he altered it with a Sharpie:

I’m sure the only ones fooled by this ham handed alteration of the NHC forecast map were Trumpists, but the National Weather Service corrected Trump with their own tweet saying that Alabama would not be affected.  After Trump showed the altered map, Twitterverse lit up, and #sharpiegate became trending, showing a number of solutions to Trump’s other problems.  Here are a few:

While the trending is pretty entertaining, Trump’s tampering with National Weather Service forecasting is dangerous.  All of us from Texas understand the life and death threats of hurricanes.  Accurate forecasting of hurricane tracks is essential for people to make their own decisions about life and property.  Trump has no business muddying the water by serving around like this just to prove himself right after saying something really stupid.

Those of you who’ve been around here for a while know of my fondness for the Fayetee County Record.  I have friends in Fayetter County – that’s between here and Austin – who keep me informed on their local crooks.

Well, he didn’t shoot his own foot, but he did konk himself out with his own crowbar.

And for your viewing pleasure, here’s the video.  There’s several times he awakes, does something and then passes out again.

For those you who are following the case of Alex Jones and the Sandy Hook parents, Alex’s new hot shot lawyer from California ain’t prancing so hot shot today.

Texas Republican Congressvarmint Bill Flores is retiring.

I’m not as excited as you might suspect.  It’s a Hard R district.  Trump won by 18 points so we’ll be replacing one fool with another.  This district includes the Waco area.

Flores is so deep into oil and gas that he slides across the room when he farts.  (Okay, okay, I already regret telling that joke because it is so gross, but I heard it out the oil patch years ago and just couldn’t help myself this morning.)

And while the chances of a Democrat winning this seat are slim to none, it’s kinda fun to see Republicans run for the hills when they see a storm coming.