Outrage! We Need Some Damn Outrage!
It’s rare to find someone who doesn’t know about The Chicken Ranch – the famous Texas brothel. It has a major listing in the Handbook of Texas, and at wikipedia. The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is based on the closing of The Chicken Ranch.
The Chicken Ranch was located in Fayette County – about half way between Houston and Austin.
I have a lot of friends in Fayette County. The county is about 90% Republican and my friends consist of the other 10%. They let me know about fun stuff in the newspaper.
There’s an annual major antique show in Fayette County. People come from all over for it. Mainly female people. This year the antique show is on April 3rd and 4th. Well, come to find out, an enterprising woman has a helluva idea. She got herself a big enclosed tent and is importing some “male exotic dancers” to entertain the antique show attendees, a largely female crowd.
Well, all hell broke loose. People who own calendars know that April 3rd and 4th is Good Friday and Holy Saturday. The county judge, a Mr. Ed Janecka, is just flat beside himself with indignity, upsetness, and chronic oh-holy-cow-you-cannot-do-this-in-my-county itis. Janecka has been county judge for 25 years and he ain’t having naked men in his county during holy week. Hell, even normal men bathe fully clothed during holy week.
This will not stand. Not in Fayette County by gawd!
As the judge says, “If people want to go to Houston, Austin, or Las Vegas to see this sort of thing, they can do that. But we certainly do not want to have that kind of thing here.”
The local newspaper is all over this one. We’ve got scans of the newspaper, so you’ll have to click the little ones to see the big ones.
The judge says that this kind of thing can lead to having female strippers next year. Uh, technically speaking, strippers would be a step up from the most famous whorehouse in a seven state area, Judge.
Because of silly little things like free speech, there’s nothing the county can do to stop this. Except maybe —
Yeah, because outrage fixes everything. Just ask Fox News.
Thanks to my good friends in Fayette County for the heads up.
I agree that Holy Week is not the best of times for this kind of show (but that’s when it is on the calendar, so what can you do?), but a lot of those male dancers can really DANCE. They are good entertainment (and eye candy) even before they start showing some of their God-given attributes.
They also are great flirts and make the women feel pretty and attractive. That’s why the dancers get great tips.
Maybe that’s the problem. If the women feel pretty and attractive, they might get uppity and start thinking for themselves.
1I expect the sponsors are also hoping for public outrage since it provides a whole lot of free publicity.
Why on the earth does the religious right continue to define their religion strictly in terms of sex? How about some good will, guys?
2LynnN FTW
Yep. “I don’t care what you say about me, just spell my name right” — P.T. Barnum
3“Outrage,” the viagra for wing nuts.
4Actually judge,I’d be inclined to bypass the church for the lady strippers just to hack you off and you’d prolly be there incognito to ogle a few lasses yourownself. Some one once said a man with a boner can’t bluff a woman whose ever seen one before.
5“We certainly do not want to have that kind of thing here.”
Who is “we”?
“Are we going to have [female] strippers next year?”
Sorry to disappoint you, bub, but the largely-female antique crowd probably wouldn’t be too interested, except of course for the lesbians, but you don’t want any of them in your pristine county anyway.
But thanks for the free publicity. I bet attendance at the antique show will set a record.
6BTW – the antique weekend runs for two weeks – they could have had this the weekend before (that’s when me and my friends are going) but these must be some really smart chickies to get all this free promo!
7So commerce ( the exchange of money-the root, etc, etc) is fine on “holy days” as long as it’s old stuff being sold?
8Do they shut down the bars on those days?
Fayette County Antique Show? Up here, we just call that a multi-granny estate sale. Anyway, all good Christians should be in Church those two days, don’tcha know, so anyone going to an antique show is probably already damned, so who cares?
As for the Church across the street, well, if that preacher can’t use the impromptu strip club as a way to save souls, he just ain’t even trying. BTW, I’ve got a little song his choir can sing:
Rumors spreadin ‘round, that Texas town
‘bout that tent outside LaGrange
You know what I’m talkin’ about!
Just let me know, if you wanna go
To that show out on the range
They gotta lotta beefcake out there!
Uh ha ha ha ha
Uh ha ha ha
Well, I hear it’s fine if you got the time
And the ten to get yourself in, mmm hmm
And you can take a peek, On Holy Week
But then, I might be mistaken uh ha ha ha ha
Have Mercy!
9I used to say that the reason so many sermons are about the evils of sex is because men were the preachers. If women preached, they prolly would talk more about stuff like feeding the hungry and taking care of the chirrun and elderly. And I heard that Jesus’ main gripe was about self-rightousness. I coulda heard wrong but it gives one something to think about.
10The real reason his pissed off is because being a closet gay he can’t go watch!!!! And there are no strippers there so he can’e go there to oggle the guys ogglying the girls.
11I have no proof of that, but you can’t prove me wrong!!!!
L.Long reminds me of a great bit in Dana Milbank’s column today, after Scott Walker said that he didn’t know whether Obama is a Christian:
But even when prompted with the facts, Walker persisted, saying, “I’ve actually never talked about it or I haven’t read about that,” and, “I’ve never asked him that,” and, “You’ve asked me to make statements about people that I haven’t had a conversation with about that.”
This is an intriguing standard. I’ve never had a conversation with Walker about whether he’s a cannibal, a eunuch, a sleeper cell for the Islamic State, a sufferer of irritable bowel syndrome or a grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. By Walker’s logic, it would be fair for me to let stand the possibility that he just might be any of those — simply because I have no personal and direct refutation from him.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/what-we-dont-know-about-scott-walker/2015/02/23/626e738a-bba8-11e4-bdfa-b8e8f594e6ee_story.html?hpid=z5
12Let’s be honest, here’s why Mr. Ed is so upset: after the lovely antique lovin’ ladies see these hot guys dancing away the night, there’s probably no Republican within a 100 miles who’s gonna get any hoochie anytime soon.
13I don’t have much to comment on the ‘dance show’ itself, other than from the newspaper info, the venue for it is on the fringe ( in Warrenton) of the actual antique show area itself, and a little off the main road. Unless the ‘dancers’ bring a bus or stay with locals, there aren’t (or weren’t 10-15 years ago) any accommodations closer than La Grange itself (a few miles SW down the Hwy), maybe STD’s may spike up and that worries the Judge…
The antique show area stretches from Warrenton on the SW end, up Hwy 237 for miles, to N of Round Top, twice a year. It is big.
See various links below.
There is “The World’s Smallest Catholic Church” right in the middle of everything there, St. Martin’s; at 12’x16′ a tiny structure (see the Warrenton Wiki link below).
I used to commute on that road, and ‘flying low’ (just a little tiny bit over the speed limit, honest…) along there in the early mornings and nights I got used to just cruising along the very rural area with little traffic.
All of the sudden one morning, WTF! is this sh!t!, I had a rude braking awakening when I came upon the antique show venue scattered on both sides of the road for miles; people everywhere, strolling across the highway, vehicles parked everywhere, yikes. I’d never seen anything like it before. Don’t know about the “mostly female” clientele, seemed to be pretty mixed to me at the time.
After slowing down my commute for a week or two things went back to normal. I found it amazing that so many people would get out there on farm fields (in all kinds of weather) just to gawk at ‘junk’.
Anyhow, here are some links:
14The Round Top Antiques Fair, with links to the fair org itself:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Round_Top_Antiques_Fair
Round Top, TX:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Round_Top,_Texas
Warrenton, TX:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warrenton,_Texas
Oldenburg, TX:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldenburg,_Texas
Lorraine in Spring says: @ #13
“…after the lovely antique lovin’ ladies see these hot guys dancing away the night, there’s probably no Republican within a 100 miles who’s gonna get any hoochie…”
An opening for some enterprising entrepreneur to open a ‘toy’ booth nearby, eh? That would really chap the ol’ Judges’ arse.
15Lorraine, I’ve heard of guys going to these shows or hanging around nearby trying to pick up a hot an’ bothered woman who’s seen the show. I don’t think that would work for the judge even if he put a bag over his head.
16Why does this sound to me like the sequel to the Greatest Little Whorehouse? What fabulous pre-production publicity!
17I hate, loathe and despise being on the side of those opposing but I do think it’s really not very nice to do this on those days. Pretty in-your-face and lacking any semblance of courtesy or respect. Don’t know how big this county is…could be no one would even notice if there weren’t such an uproar about it. Yeah, I’m talking out of both sides.
18The original crucifixion remembered that weekend occurred outside Jerusalem under very similar circumstances: an annual festival. When they were done gawking at this and that the attendees with a ghoulish streak went to gawk at three guys slowly asphyxiating in the morning sun. About as many will go gawk at the lovely young men!
Hope u were wearin your cheap sunglasses Chip- and yer cuz ain’t headed for New Orleans is he?
Guess the judge’s wife might get some here pretty soon? don’t you always say that outrage is what passes for foreplay in Republican households JJ?
19As long as Aaron Shock is in the U.S. Congress, “The Chicken Ranch will be with us.
He calls it “Downtown Abbey” decor.
I calls it “Early Bordello” decor. 🙂
20I’d forgotten all about the song La Grange. Thanks, da Chipster. Now, I’ve got an earworm.
21There is nothing wrong with male exotic dancers, hell they keep more clothes on then the women strippers do. They do not go full nude and they are more stage entertainers and put on a good show. They don’t just spin around a pole and put their hoochie in your face. I agree it may not be the best time of the year but that is when the antique show is and if you don’t like it you don’t have to come they are going to have it highly controlled and no-one under 21 will be allowed in and they also have security in place. It will be in an enclosed area not out in the middle of a field for all to see and be subject to see something they don’t want too. On that note there are people in this county to make it a point to see things they don’t want too just to gossip about it. Just because you go to church and worship on the holy days does make you a non-sinner. Just saying maybe the holier then thou should look in the mirror.
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