Last week I came up with an idea, and it seemed like a damn good idea at the time but it was early evening, hot as hell, and I was drinking either my second or third glass of homemade Limoncello (thanks Barbara in DeeCee) with Topo Chico poured on top. I generally lose count after one, but more than three and I find myself laying on the lawn holding onto the grass to keep from falling off. So, I was somewhere between 2 or 3.

Anyway, it was during this time that I came up with this idea. Texas Democrats should run Matthew McConaughey for governor and Beto O’Rourke for Lt. Governor.  In Texas, all the power is in the Lt. Gov position, but more people go vote for the Governor. So, I call Glen Maxey and tell him that I have it figured out.  He heard my plan and then asked, “But Darlin’, what if McConaughey says something stoopid?” I told him to sober up and I’d call him tomorrow.

Think about it: Under the current governor, Texans froze in the dark and a mess of them died. We’re the oil generating machine for the entire country and this governor let us freeze and then had a legislative session – we only have them every two years – and didn’t do anything about it.  He still doesn’t recognize it as a problem that needs fixing.  He wants to spend my Don’t Freeze money on a wall with Mexico.  Hellfire, McConaughey could play the bongo drums naked and high in his front window again and it wouldn’t come near as stupid as letting all of Texas lose electricity during the worst cold in three decades.

Beto can craft and pass all the legislation.  And he can explain it in a way that even a bongo player will  like it.

So, just as I was going to patent this idea, AARP says I needn’t bother.

I have been a member of AARP for over a decade and every face on the cover of their magazine has been someone over the age of 65. Not this month. They’ve got a 51 year old kid on the front.

You can see the big picture right here.

The cutline under his name says, “What he loves about his family, his life, and his country.”  And, in case you missed it, this is the 4th of July issue.

To say that it’s a patriotic puff piece is to say that puppies are cuddly.  I don’t have a problem with it being a patriotic puff piece, but damn – even I wouldn’t have thought about the AARP magazine. Somebody is way ahead of me on this.

Now if we could just elect Willie agriculture commissioner.