Okay, I Admit I was Drinking A Little
Last week I came up with an idea, and it seemed like a damn good idea at the time but it was early evening, hot as hell, and I was drinking either my second or third glass of homemade Limoncello (thanks Barbara in DeeCee) with Topo Chico poured on top. I generally lose count after one, but more than three and I find myself laying on the lawn holding onto the grass to keep from falling off. So, I was somewhere between 2 or 3.
Anyway, it was during this time that I came up with this idea. Texas Democrats should run Matthew McConaughey for governor and Beto O’Rourke for Lt. Governor. In Texas, all the power is in the Lt. Gov position, but more people go vote for the Governor. So, I call Glen Maxey and tell him that I have it figured out. He heard my plan and then asked, “But Darlin’, what if McConaughey says something stoopid?” I told him to sober up and I’d call him tomorrow.
Think about it: Under the current governor, Texans froze in the dark and a mess of them died. We’re the oil generating machine for the entire country and this governor let us freeze and then had a legislative session – we only have them every two years – and didn’t do anything about it. He still doesn’t recognize it as a problem that needs fixing. He wants to spend my Don’t Freeze money on a wall with Mexico. Hellfire, McConaughey could play the bongo drums naked and high in his front window again and it wouldn’t come near as stupid as letting all of Texas lose electricity during the worst cold in three decades.
Beto can craft and pass all the legislation. And he can explain it in a way that even a bongo player will like it.
So, just as I was going to patent this idea, AARP says I needn’t bother.
I have been a member of AARP for over a decade and every face on the cover of their magazine has been someone over the age of 65. Not this month. They’ve got a 51 year old kid on the front.
You can see the big picture right here.
The cutline under his name says, “What he loves about his family, his life, and his country.” And, in case you missed it, this is the 4th of July issue.
To say that it’s a patriotic puff piece is to say that puppies are cuddly. I don’t have a problem with it being a patriotic puff piece, but damn – even I wouldn’t have thought about the AARP magazine. Somebody is way ahead of me on this.
Now if we could just elect Willie agriculture commissioner.
It’s a fine idea and I’m happy to provide your muse.
1Matthew, Beto, Willie……..weed would be legalized on inauguration day
2The only thing I don’t like about your idea is that I recently moved out of state and I couldn’t vote for them!
And yes, I’m for Matthew/Beto/Willie…and legalizing grass!
3I’m moving back to Texas by the end of the year. I’d vote for Beto! for any public elected office. Not sure about Matthew. Might swing me over if it gets us Beto!
4“Hell, yeah! I’m going to take your AR’s!” Love you, Beto. Gave you enough money that I have two T-shirts, but that statement made you unelectable in a statewide. We need another candidate.
5Not only legalization but a leader in high quality ganga sales. Also an annual festival that would rival houston rodeo!
6Oh my! … had to read that four or five times to get past the part about Matthew McConaughey naked and playing the bongoes………..Wait, you say he did that once before?? Oh my….
7Somebody better tell Mike Collier.
8One minor suggestion: Jim Hightower as Ag Commissioner. He’s had experience in just that position, and has been an active progressive all his life. For those who don’t know him:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Hightower
On the other hand, I’d hate to let Willie go to waste in the new Matt/Beto administration. He might be good as the press secretary, or as roving ambassador. He certainly has the “roving” part down pat.
9“Aggressive centrist” Matthew “extremes on both sides” McConaughey? No thanks, keep him away from politics PLEASE. Even as a joke.
10We already have Ammon Bundy, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Mike Lindell, Andrew Giuliani and Caitlyn Jenner as aggressively unqualified candidates for governor. So sure, why not one more? Might work better if you can get Matt to change his last name to McConaughey-R. If you know what I mean.
11I have my doubts about Matthew, but the rest of your idea? I like it!
12I don’t even know who this McConaughey dude [dud?] is, but let’s not commit political suicide [again].
Even Beto would be a veery long shot given today’s Texas political environment.
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As for as Topo Chico bottled water, nuh-uh. Your own tap water is likely to be better than any bottled water per Consumer Reports [you can carbonate it yourself too].
A long long time ago a girlfriend and I used to visit Monterrey, NL and Saltillo regularly. We usually stayed at a Holiday Inn on the slopes of Cerro del Topo Chico, where they bottle the stuff [nice views then, reccmd it, if it’s still there], an area within-near Monterrey. Even back then Monterrey was a very polluted place, probably worse now.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerro_del_Topo_Chico
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topo_Chico
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