Oh Pete.
Y’all, I almost skipped over this story when Fred Farklestone sent it to me this morning because I thought, “Well, even ole Fred got fooled by a satire story.”
This is true. Texas Congessfool Pistol Pete Sessions introduced a resolution about magic.
It’s even been posted for the betterment of the nation on congress.gov.
Whereas magic is an art form with the unique power and potential to impact the lives of all people;
Whereas magic enables people to experience the impossible;
Whereas magic is used to inspire and bring wonder and happiness to others;
Whereas magic, like the great art forms of dance, literature, theater, film, and the visual arts, allows people to experience something that transcends the written word;
No. Just no. It’s magic. It’s a trick. It ain’t real.
The only magic involved here is that Pistol Pete can find his office to the office. The secret to that trick is that somebody has to walk him.
Thanks to Fred for the heads up.
“Now watch me pull an economic plan out of my hat, Rocky!”
1I’m pretty sure Congressman Pete Sessions is a Muggle.
2What I want to know wis how the bleep he talks his way out of this mess! He has just blown it with the Fundies for sure. Magic? No! That is a slap in the face of Jesus! He didn’t use magic! he dealt only in miracles!
3@Lless
4Not so sure his hat is wherefrom this nacilbupeR congressvermin is gonna pull an economic plan. If he does.
Magic is only magic in the sense that it is a trick and sleight of hand and only magicians know how to work that magic!!
Texas is filled with these creatures that are as numerous as dustbunnies under beds that don’t get dustmopped very often!!
5Ladies and Gentlemen, step right up! Cast your eyes on this amazing specimen! His skin, an inhuman orange, his manners, more fitting to that of an Ape! He is filled with animal fears and hatreds! He has no experience in any form of service of any kind to his country or fellow man! He is completely and totally self-interested and narcissistic to the exclusion of any other facts or considerations, yet, he desires the most important job in the world!
MAGIC!!
6Magic
We don’t need planned parenthood – poof – all those wimmin problems are gone
We don’t need no voter oversight – poof – all the votes are republican
We don’t need edumacation – poof – we just need to know spells and that’s home schooling!
We don’t need clear air – poof – oh hell where did all this smoke come from?
7I’m sorry, the evidence that I have awakened on the wrong planet has just been building higher, and I’m going back to bed to try again.
8@Old Mayfly
9If a Muggle is defined as someone who possesses no (magical) skills or abilities, then Sessions is certainly a Muggle. But then 80+% of Congress would meet that definition. Oh. Never mind.
All righty then. Satire is officially dead.
10While I don’t think “our” representatives should be wasting any time on this crap, I will say that magic is no more or less relevant to the arts as dance or anything else. It does not, however need the attention of the government.
11So how are the fundies in your neck of the woods going to react to this?
12You know those church folks who feel even reading Harry Potter books is selling your soul to the devil.
Please don’t confuse this guy with our mascot here at New Mexico State. Our Pistol Pete is supposed to act crazy at ball games. And as an aside, I am headed to Tempe where our WAC champion ladies play Arizona State in the first round on the NCAA tournament. Go Aggies!
13Finally, an explanation for the Repub’s philosophy of governing.
http://cafehayek.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/miracle_cartoon.jpg
Has anyone told Christine O’Donnell?
14Omg. The congressman thinks _The_Magicians_ is a documentary.
15Magic, the backbone of Conservatism. Smoke and mirrors, deception, Voodoo economics and lots of Fairies, make facts (poof like magic) disappear.
16Las Vegas has some spectacular magic acts. Pulling a rabbit out of a hat pales in comparison to pulling a 177.8 cm bunny out of a hat. But leave to the snacilbupeR to upstage that by pulling a jackass out of their a$$; repeatedly.
17Wand-erful.
18Sessions is a Texass scholar. He thinks presto chango is Latin for make Obama go away.
19Dear god, the stoopid never ends.
20I love to pile on the stupidity of Texan Republicans as much as any guy (and there is plenty to pile on), but from the looks of it (on reading the stories and links), this is nothing more than a resolution to recognize magic as an art form as you would, say jazz as an American music form. The guy is just doing a solid for a constituent who so happens to be pals with members of the Society of American Magicians. In other words, this is just like the Dairy Assoc. asking for a resolution for Cheese Month from their legislator. Nothing really to see.
21If only my magic wand was working………
22Clandestine Bookworm: Yes, I agree with your comment, but… who out there didn’t know that “magic” is a form of artful entertaiment? Okay, yes I see… we’re talking Texas here. Nevermind.
23JAKvirginia, not just Texas, but that very special snowflake, Pete (I missed my psychiatric) Sessions.
24From reading the resolution, it’s obvious that they’re talking about stage and stunt magic, not the supernatural. It’s easy to see why he and his sponsors admire misdirection, fooling the querulous, making things appear to be what they’re not, and in general finding ways to lie and suck in the suckers, even when they know that it’s all tricks. It’s what conservative politicians have been doing for years. They’re brothers-in-arms, just with different motives (except for relieving suckers of their hard-earned cash).
25Oh, great, another tax break for Penn & Teller.
26He’s talking about smoke and mirrors, otherwise known as Republican budgets.
27If Pete’s magic, he’s in Slyterin.
28My husband said it’s just a way to tack magic onto the arts to make it easier to get grant money. I said either way, fundy Christians are supposed to think it’s evil. Sorry Pete, I don’t agree. Wait…I had a thought! In the liberry, where is “entertainment” cataloged? I mean, drawing, painting, dancing, gymnastics, sculpture etc are in the 700s. I’ll let yall research that. Entertainment I can agree with.
29LynnN, good cartoon. That’s the only way I’ve ever been able to do math. I loved your O’Donnell question too. You’re on a roll woman!
30Hate to argue (OK! I like arguing) but his statement is 100% correct. Magic is rare, it is very rare, it is so rare that no one has ever seen real magic. That makes if very valuable! Have real magic and name your price!! The rich and powerful will pay for it! I just wish they would hold their breath waiting for it!
31The next step, of course, will be witchcraft trials. Why should Salem have all the fun?
32El Gonzo, that is quite the astute observation. I totally agree and I very much like your nom de plume.
33And the sorting hat will decide if you go to A&M, Rice, or UT Hogwarts.
34I forgot to say it:
Ohferpete’ssake!
35