News You Can Use

April 14, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

In these troubling times, it’s good to know that some things are sacred in Florida.

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) declared professional wrestling among the essential businesses like grocery stores and pharmacies that can stay open despite coronavirus-related restrictions statewide, the Miami Herald reports

“I think initially there was a review that was done and they were not initially deemed an essential business. With some conversation with the governor’s office regarding the governor’s [stay-at-home] order, they were deemed an essential business,” [Orange County Mayor Jerry] Demings said. “Therefore, they were allowed to remain open.”

Gee, we no longer have to wonder why they love Trump in Florida – he’s to politics what professional wrestling is to Olympic sports.

Who wants to bet that the “conversation with the governor’s office” involved the passing of envelopes filled with money?

 

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0 Comments to “News You Can Use”


  1. jrkrideau says:

    I hope lawn bowling gets rated as essential business.

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  2. Geez, all one really has to do is read “Breaking Cat News” these days. Their wrestling is much better than the WWE.

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  3. Yes!
    If you love your absolutely necessary fake news, never fear!
    In Florida fake sports are just as essential!

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  4. Jane & PKM says:

    Adding reason #1000 and counting to never visiting Merde-duh-Blowhole. The danger of encountering Covidiot* 45, Messy and Linda McMahon in one place; if the food doesn’t make you sick, those 3 will.

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  5. WA Skeptic says:

    Nice to know some things never change in the Sunshine State.

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  6. Buttermilk Sky says:

    But how do you wrestle while maintaining a social distance of six feet? This will be a challenge for the choreographers.

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  7. Grandma Ada says:

    Now this is a story Dave Barry could really enjoy writing about! It does make me take a minute to imagine the US without corporate political donations and a limit on personal donations.

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  8. My guess is that the demand for YouTube videos of wrestlers with oversized Obama heads on them getting pile drived is at an all-time high. Where else in the world can you guarantee fresh footage with crowds that big in this day and age?
    World class production value!
    Full disclosure. Im purty certain that in civil engineering, the past tense is pile driven.
    But ask any wrestling fan about the grammar and the answer you’ll probably get is….
    My Mama asked me about my talkin once.
    ONCE.

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  9. Tennis I could understand.
    Opposite side of the net.
    But wrestling?
    How much spit, snot, blood and heavy breathing goes on between 2 people?

    What morons.

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  10. Sharon Mother of Mastiffs says:

    At this point the Republicans are doing us a favor – cull the herd and dem’s will show up no matter what to vote – Blue Tsunami!!

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  11. Rumor has it that continued inactivity by WWE would invoke a $200MM penalty clause in their contract with Fox. The McMahons, major GOP donors, were not about to let that happen

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  12. Nancy Wickman says:

    Linda McMahon, formerly director of Chump’s Small Business Administration. She made her fortune as a WWE exec and is now running tRump’s superpac.

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  13. And, Nancy Wickman, it appears that superpac is going to be spending big in Florida. What a coincidence.

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