Counting Chickens Before They Hatch
Texas Congressfool Pistol Pete Sessions of the Dallas area is a corker.
Pete was one of Jack Abramoff’s go-to guys. Pete helped Jack in his scheme to rip off Indian tribes with gambling casinos. Pete took about $50,000 from Allen Stanford plus went fancy-pants traveling to Fire Island on Stanford’s jet for a Stanford retreat. Then there was Blimp Wimp where Sessions added a one and half million dollar earmark for a major contributor and convicted felon lobbyist “for dirigible research.” Because Lord knows if there’s anything we need it’s blimp research.
And then there was Countrywide, where Sessions played loose and easy to get a one million dollar loan from the bailed out mammoth.
It has been said that Sessions is the greediest man in Texas, but, Honey, the boy has lots of competition.
He’s also training to be Newt Gingrich in the Ladies’ Man department. In March on 2011, Pete was squiring around a lovely young woman, 15 years his junior, while still married to his wife of 27 years. In August, he divorced his wife and less than a year later married his honey.
And for a lovely Christmas gift three months later, he gives his new wife a lifetime membership at the Congressional Club. Which is real nice, except ….
… he paid for it with his campaign funds.
Let us just hope the used wife also has a lifetime membership and shows up hand-in-hand with John Hamm a time or two.
Ya know, there ought to be a law …..
Thanks to Alfredo for Monday morning coffee over at the Dairy Queen.
There would be a lot less of this crap if we made the House Reps stay home and telecommute and vote electronically. Also we could go and see them any time we wanted and find out what the Sam-heel they are really up to! AND it would improve any number of marriages. I sure hope Mrs Sessions the former got a nice settlement out of that filthy little snake!
1Well, Liz, one advantage to having them vote electronically might be the reduced vote count while they’re trying to figure out how to work the machine. But voter fraud would probably become a real issue instead of their fake one…
2I’d rather see them go to Washington and stay there and work on legislation for more than 3 days a week instead of commuting Friday through Monday. I’d go even further and supply them with dormitories and cafeteria food.
3@Don A – And we might even spring for a free weekly beer bust on Fridays after work, but only if they get something done that week.
4The quickest way to turn a young lady from Republicon to Democrat: make her an intern/page in Sessions office. He makes them call him Uncle Pete. All the ones I have known come home never to vote Republican again.
5He makes the interns call him Uncle Pete? OMG. I wonder if Screwie Louie and the others in the Tx Repig delegation adopt that same policy? I’d gag before I’d call Cong Neugebauer Uncle Randy… and would he be Uncle Screwie, or Uncle Louie? Very confusing. I mean, just look at it… Uncle Pete, Randy and Screwie all are sexually suggestive…. BOZOS.
6The next movie Ben Affleck should do would be a remake of “Mr. [whoever] Goes to Washington” starring Jack Nicholson, Richard Gere, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Ben himself. Except this one would be remade to match reality. Now y’all have a real good time casting which one of those hunks woud fill which role!
I’ll start with Jack Nicholson as Newt Gingrich.
7Congressional Club = 2nd/3rd Wives Club
8Is it legal to use campaign funds to give things to family members?
9@Corinne Sabo: Ohhh, I don’t think so. I hope we hear more about this.
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