I figured out a long time ago that Mike Huckabee will stay in the race to the end, not because he might win, but because it makes money for him.

His miracle drug that cures cancer, hogwarts, hammer toe, colic, acne, impotence, broken bones, and shingles is his money maker.  The more he’s on teevee, the more miracle drug he sells.  Running for president, is free advertising for him.  Huckabee shakes his money maker during presidential stops.

You can add Ben Carson to that list.

He has folded into Carson Enterprises his presidential campaign, which has excelled at fundraising, bringing in almost $32 million through the end of September — more than any other 2016 Republican candidate. That fundraising prowess continues, even as his poll numbers decline. His campaign manager Barry Bennett said Thursday they raised about $20 million since the beginning of October, matching their extraordinary summertime pace. Speaking fees over a nearly two-year period raked in $4.3 million. And his nonprofit continues to raise money.

That’s some serious cash.  So the guy gets stoned, walks out on the debate stage and mumbles some crap and brings in better dough than he ever made doctoring.

I am considering the possibility of coming out of retirement and running for president.  I really need a million dollars.  I could afford to remodel this beauty salon for one million dollars, which is certainly a better thing to spend money on than anything these bozos hoard.

Y’all, the Christmas season does not mellow folks in South Carolina. This year ain’t even over and they’re already filing bills to hate people for next year.

South Carolina GOP state Rep. Bill Chumley has pre-filed a 2016 bill that aims to “nullify” the US Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage.

Just go ahead and secede.  I do not know a damn thing I need that says “Made in South Carolina.”

It looks like Chummy, who also tried to nullify Obamacare, is all about being a proud American.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Chris Christie is campaigning in New Hampshire, where he barely speaks the language.  He gave a rambling answer to a question about which bathrooms transgendered children should use.  Since he didn’t have an answer, he changed the topic from transgendered children to terrorism.

[He answered a question]… about which bathrooms transgender children should be allowed to use, saying that with the threat of terrorism “life is confusing enough” for children.

Yeah, transgendered bathrooms are confusing for children.

You know what else is confusing for children?

Math.

Math is confusing for children.

Childen are also confused about …

Who Miss Universe actually is.

How that whole bedtime thing works.

Is  schlong an actual Yiddish word?

Why the hell did the Governor close my bridge when I needed to go to the bathroom?  Any bathroom at all.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.

Well, I’m not giving you a choice.  You get to hear both damn near simultaneously.

I have told you about Arizona State Senator Sylvia Allen, who is just one Margarita short of hallelujahing herself into public nudity.  We met her here back when she was trying to force people to go to church on Sunday morning — any church they wanted just so long it was Baptist.

Well, she’s back in the news, the bad news.

An Arizona lawmaker who believes the Earth is 6,000 years old is the new chairwoman of the state Senate committee that oversees education-related legislation.

She also believes that the government is regulating the weather through chew-trails, and that the earth is 6,000 years old.

They put her in charge of education.

The worse news?

Pundits are predicting that Arizona education will become like Texas education and I live in Texas and people are laughing at me.

Who wants to bet Arizona’s about to head down the same, sorry road as Texas? You have to feel bad for the students who are about to receive a sub-standard education thanks to elected leaders who thinks public schools are part of some liberal conspiracy.

Same sorry road as Texas?

That hurts, y’all.

Thanks to Alan for the heads up.