You wanna talk about a money-making business!  Holy cow, this is winner!

The New York Daily News announced that there’s a Kickstarter campaign that’s likely gonna save the damn world.

Tired of wearing tin foil on your head to keep Barack Obama and his secret army from reading your mind or implanting good dinner table manners.  You do not need that crap in your head.

Tired of satellites beaming libtard ideas at you like, “Jim Bob, you don’t need no damn AK-47. You need to pay the light bill with that money.”

Tired of Bill Gates sending messages through your computer screen?

Here is your fashion forward answer.

It’s a damn tin foil lined gimme-cap.  Holy truck stop, Jim Bob, now you can take off that large hunk of tin foil and pose for family pictures out on the front porch net to the washing machine.

The beauty of this thing is not only the money you’ll save on tin foil over the life of the cap, but that you do not have to give up your true identity of letting people know you’re too smart to let Obama to get into your head.  People will know you’re smart enough to be aware of the libtard conspiracy by your Donald Trump shirt and long gun you carry everywhere.

Thanks to Prup for the heads up.

So, there’s an interview with Dr. Ben Carson in the Washington Post.  It was amazing.

First he blames his staff for his recent lagging in the polls.

The Post would report his remarks a couple of hours later. By nightfall, Carson had walked them back and expressed “100 percent confidence” in his staff.

In the November debate, Carson announced that the Chinese were in Syria. That claim left people, including the President, speechless.  Carson then claimed that his “sources” on Syria are better than the President’s.

Now Carson is singing a different lullaby.

As far as the China thing was concerned, I probably shouldn’t have said that. I said that on the basis of what some people in the CIA tell me. And of course, subsequent information came out that there is some Chinese [involvement in Syria].

No, no that has not come out.  And if people in the CIA are talking to Ben Carson, then we have a bigger problem than the Chinese in Syria. So, he’s going to have to walk this back, too.

Honey, if this man keeps having to walk things back,  he’s gonna end up with a full pail standing in the surf of the Gulf of Mexico.  But it’s be fun to watch, that’s for sure.

The Texas Open Records Act is meant to keep government open to the eyes of the citizens.

Republicans in the state legislature and the attorney general’s office have done everything they can to keep that from happening.  If they could shut it down by dancin’ buttbuck naked around the Alamo, they’d do it.

Enter the City of San Antonio.  There have been some very odd police officer and firefighter suspensions in San Antonio, so the local newspaper got curious.  They filed an open records request with the city.

The requested information includes all emails sent or received by SAPD employees that mentioned suspensions of officers or coverage of those suspensions by the Express-News and mySA.com in 2015.

A governmental agency is allowed to charge “an amount that reasonably includes all costs for producing” public records, but must provide an itemized cost estimate if it exceeds $40.

The police department responded with a cost of $81,333 because their email system does not allow for searches.  That means that all emails from all employees have to be transferred to another computer and then go through a hand search.

Yes, just like in 1980.  Honey, if your email system is older than Y2K, it might be time for an upgrade.

Now see, there’s also the mathematical fact that $81,333 translates to 10,166  eight-hour days, which is a damn long time, even in dog years.

You know what? I don’t believe it. I think it’s hogwash. I hope the newspaper sues and makes some geek take the stand and explain why there’s no search function on their email program.  Even if there isn’t one, I’ll bet you that’s on purpose, too.

Thanks to Lizbeth for the heads up.

Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings, who is a helluva guy, committed Dallas to taking in 1,400 refugees from Syria.  Almost all of Dallas’ ministers of faith joined hands with the mayor and rejoiced that Dallas could help war-torn people.

However, Rev. Robert Jeffress of the First Baptist Church of Dallas (and Fox News contributor) wants to keep refugees out of this country.  To do that, he had to re-write the Bible.

“Most people assume the Christian response is to allow immigrants and refugees’ unconditional entrance into this country, and I think they think that because they confuse Jesus with the Statue of Liberty — give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses. But in fact the real historical Jesus did urge compassion for those in need, but he also said, ‘Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s.’ In other words, support government with your taxes because they have a legitimate function like protecting citizens. Those of us who believe in the sanctity of life believe that sanctity serves to not only to protect the unborn but to protect the born from terrorist attacks. That’s a Christian value as well.”

Notice that seamless joining he made of church and state? And, Syrians don’t get sanctity of life.  You know, because they are like … foreign.

I dunno, when Sweet Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount, I think he said “give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.”

But I guess the big one that stands out is St. Luke’s telling of the parable Jesus spoke especially for Robert Jeffress.  The Good Samaritan pretty well says that this preacher man is full of caca del toro.

Jeffress goes on to compare Syrian refugees to Planned Parenthood selling body parts and then semi-endorses Donald Trump and Ted Cruz.  You can watch it here.

I think the guy needs to go to Jimmy Carter’s Sunday school.

Jacksonville, Florida, ain’t exactly the sprawling center of racial harmony, but when someone at the Army Corp of Engineers placed a Confederate flag on the desk of an African American man just one week after nine people were killed in a church in Charleston, South Carolina, things didn’t seem, you know, proper.

Susan Thompson, 58 years old, a worker at the office, who is white, denied to federal investigators that she had anything to do with it, even though she had a contentious relationship with the victim.

Prosecutors say that during interviews over the Jacksonville incident, Thompson lied to investigators twice.

Thompson later resigned and has admitted to placing the flag. She denied it was racially motivated.

Nah, nah, it wasn’t racially motivated.  Not at all. She had no idea what the confederate flag is. She thought it meant Have a Nice Day!

(I know a took a few days off, but it’s catch-up time now.)

During the armed robbery of a cellphone store in beautiful downtown Chicago …

Like the cell phone store owner who, defending himself from an armed robber, sprang into action to put a bullet in the chest of an innocent 27-year-old man at the bus stop across the street, and another through the wall of the apartment of a nearby family of five (and into their TV set).

Luckily, everybody escaped without deadly injury, including … the robber, who “left the scene, unharmed.”

I do not know where the good guy with a gun was or the well-organized militia.

Neither were in Baton Rouge either.  In the category of Grandma Always Like You Better …

An 18-year-old man accidentally shot his 16-year-old cousin in the torso Wednesday evening on Jefferson Avenue near Plank Road.

Corie Burge, who lives in the 2300 block of Jefferson Avenue, and his cousin were playing with the firearm inside a house when the gun went off, Baton Rouge Police spokesperson Cpl. Don Coppola said.

The victim was taken to a local hospital, where he is expected to survive, Coppola said.

Or in Denver.  This happened on Christmas morning.  Guess what she got for Christmas?

An early Christmas morning shooting in Denver appears to have been self-inflicted and accidental, according to a Denver Police Department spokesperson.

The shooting victim, a woman, was taken to Denver Health via private vehicle, according to Denver Police Department spokesperson Sonny Jackson.

Y’all, I can’t take any more days off.  People just start shooting each other.